


Always In My Head

by orphan_account



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Drama, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, He’s just like his grandfather I guess, Hurt/Comfort, Jedi Ben Solo, Jedi Temple (Star Wars), Jedi Training (Star Wars), Just trying to explain the transition to Kylo Ren more, Kylo Ren Redemption, Matchmaker Snoke???, Original Character-centric, Plot, Pre-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Pregnancy, Redeemed Ben Solo, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Sweet Ben Solo, Unplanned Pregnancy, Young Ben Solo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:09:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 44,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23562100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Ben Solo fools around with a fellow Padawan while training at the Jedi Academy. He finds out the hard way that a fellow Jedi scorned with heartbreak and an unplanned pregnancy is not a force to be reckoned with.Now, there's only one thing on her mind: revenge. She has a desire to protect her child and also save the universe from the impending wrath of the newly formed First Order.
Relationships: Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/Original Female Character(s), Ben Solo/Original Female Character(s), Kylo Ren/Original Character(s)
Kudos: 8





	1. Stay Here With Me

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for taking the time to click on my work :))
> 
> I’m open to suggestions but have a lot of the story written already.
> 
> Enjoy some Ben Solo fluff!

Sofie knew the exact moment she began to like Ben Solo. 

It was the night that she discovered that her father had died--or rather, had been  _ murdered _ . The day had been normal, Master Luke had gone with Ben on another mission, but as soon as they came back, everyone knew something was different. Their greetings were hasty. A sense of dread surrounded both of them. 

This left Sofie feeling uneasy while she and the other students assisted with the after-mission tasks. Master Luke stopped by briefly while she was helping clean the inside of the ship.   
  
“Can you stay a bit later today, Sofie? I need to talk to you.” Master Luke asked her.

Sofie worked longer than the others, and once she was satisfied with her work she visited Master Luke in his study. She made her way to the main temple and sat down in his office. She could sense unease in the air. 

“Sofie, I’m sure you knew the basic details of Ben and I’s mission today?” Luke asked her. She nodded, a pit resting in her stomach. 

“Then you know it was on Nexa. We saw and heard about your family.” It felt like Luke was looking straight into her soul. “We heard that your family had been pushed out of their home and that nobody knew where they were. But they told us that your father, unfortunately, had died.” 

Sofie felt her eyes getting misty and her stomach turning. “Do they… know what happened?” She asked Luke. 

“They believe he was killed by someone with intentions to take over that area.” He replied, his face refusing to show emotion. 

“I’m sorry,” was all he could say.

Sofie took a deep breath and wiped a tear from under her eye.

“What am I supposed to do now?” She asked out loud. “The whole reason I wanted to train-- to become even somewhat skilled was  _ for _ my family, for Nexa.” Her voice cracked. 

Her family was part of a successful line of politicians. They had enjoyed having influence and stability, but due to the overall prosperity of Nexa, they were frequently targeted by ill-meaning groups. 

“You can stay here indefinitely, and remember you are young. Perhaps the Force has other plans for you, and it knows that 18 was too young to bear that responsibility.” Luke said to Sofie, a pain finally appearing in his eyes.

“I’m sorry.”

As soon as Sofie exited Luke’s study she began to feel numerous tears running down her face. Her face was red and warm with emotion, but as she stepped outside she found the cool wind calming as it enveloped her body.

Just outside the temple was a figure holding a lantern. Sofie jumped backwards in fear and surprise, eyes blurry with tears. 

“Sofie-- it’s me, Ben.” Ben said, holding the lantern closer to his face. “Master Luke talked to you, didn’t he?” 

Sofie nodded as she wiped her face, attempting to dry it and pull herself together. “He did. He said he was sorry and that I could stay here indefinitely, even though what I wanted to do was go back and use what I learned to help them.” Sofie crossed her arms. 

“I wanted--no, they  _ needed _ help,” she started, “so that something like this wouldn’t happen. This is exactly what I wanted to prevent.” Sofie sighed. Ben moved closer to her, his lantern lighting both of their faces with a warm glow. 

They shared a respectful moment of silence. 

“We were there,” Ben said softly. “But we were too late. Everyone was already gone, except him and those… soldiers.” Sofie looked at him, slightly confused. 

“Are you saying… did you both… see my father die?” She asked with hesitation in her voice. Ben nodded, a look of pain across his face. 

Sofie buried her hands into her face and sobbed loudly. Ben looked around nervously and touched her arm. 

“Wait, don’t cry. I-- don’t tell Master Luke this but--” Ben hastily put his hand into one of his pockets and pulled out something. Sofie looked into his outstretched palm. He held a gold compass pendant and a gold, engraved ring. Sofie looked at him, shocked. 

“I managed to loot him before anyone else did,” he said, chuckling softly. “I just… I was there and I knew that it was your home and you probably… wouldn’t get to go there or see him again.” 

Sofie gingerly took the items from his hand. “Thank you, Ben,” she said softly. 

He looked at her with kind eyes. She smiled genuinely at him despite the tears that stained her face. Any rumors of Ben being remotely dark were now untrue to her. 

Ben offered to walk her back to her hut, she obliged and was glad to not be walking aimlessly towards her hut’s light in the dark. 

While walking she told him about how what had happened was always a fear in the back of her mind. She told him about how Imperial-like invaders had been the main reason she even had the opportunity to train at the Jedi Temple. The stress of her and her sisters possibly being attacked or kidnapped had caused a Force-related act of defense from her. 

Their walk was long enough for Sofie to explain her brief story. Once they arrived at the hut they exchanged goodbyes.

“Thank you again, Ben.” She said. 

“Anytime.” He replied.   
  


* * *

Sofie barely slept that evening, despite a feeling of exhaustion, she couldn’t stop her mind from replaying numerous thoughts.

Once the sun rose she looked closely at the things Ben had given her. 

The more she looked at them, the more she recognized them. The gold ring he had given her was primarily for fashion, but was simple and broad. Small, cursive text was inscribed inside the ring. It read, “truth and justice, always.” She smiled and rolled her eyes. Her father always loved saying that, especially to her and her sisters. She figured that he thought he sounded poignant, but it was a cliche, especially since he was a Senator. How truthful and devoted to justice could he  _ really _ have been?

The pendant was something that Sofie recognized as belonging to her mother. She wasn’t sure how her father had acquired it, she assumed there had been a quick separation between them before her father passed, since her mother had supposedly gotten away with the rest of her family. 

She ran her finger across the star in the middle, feeling its ridges. Admittedly, she had been closer to her father than her mother, but she could sense her opinions changing. 

Sofie jumped slightly as her roommate rustled in her sleep. Sofie quickly looked around the room, trying to think of where she could put the pendant and ring. She knew that if found, they would likely be confiscated in the name of asceticism. 

She decided to stuff them into her pillow for now. If not expertly hidden, hidden in plain sight had to be also sufficient. 

Sofie’s roommate rustled again, and this time opened her eyes. 

“Good morning, Voe.” Sofie said. Voe mumbled something back and turned over on her side. 

Sofie decided that even if Voe wasn’t willing to get up, she might as well since she knew sleeping was not an option. 

Sofie quickly got into her Jedi robes, put on her boots and quietly exited the hut

She stepped outside and chilly air hit her skin instantly. The dew still on the grass shone in the sun. The hills were blanketed with fog, and she stared past them. 

In the distance she thought she saw a figure. She blinked her eyes a few times to make sure she wasn’t seeing things. Granted, it wasn’t extremely early and people would be getting up soon anyway, but she was still surprised. 

Sofie decided to make her way towards the main building to be first for breakfast. The figure followed her still, but she made it to the building first. 

Once inside, she was captivated by the silence compared to outside. She decided to sit at a table closer to the wall.

She slumped into the chair and took a moment to herself. Feelings of yesterday’s events rushed her mind and she felt a headache coming on. 

Then, the doors to the building opened. Sofie jumped and quickly turned her attention towards the entrance.

It was Ben, again. 

“That’s the second time you’ve scared me, just so you know, Ben!” She said to him from across the room. She thought she saw him give a small smile from afar. 

He sat across from her at the table. “How did you sleep?” He asked her.

Sofie shrugged. “Honestly, I couldn’t stop thinking last night so I didn’t get much sleep. Otherwise, I’d probably still be sleeping right now.” She rubbed her eyes and resisted a yawn. 

“Maybe you could ask Master Luke for the day off?” Ben inquired. “So you can sleep more, and you know… process.” 

Sofie smiled in consideration. “I might try that, thanks for the idea. But anyway, enough about me, how did you sleep?” She wondered if he always got up this early.

Ben looked towards the ground. “Not really that well either.” He said, seemingly stopping himself short. Sofie looked at him, slightly puzzled. 

“Did something happen?” She asked him, sitting up towards him. “You can tell me, you’ve listened to me, the least I can do is also lend an ear.” 

Ben smiled meekly. “Honestly, I probably shouldn’t tell you. You might blackmail me.” 

Sofie stared, going through all the things it could possibly be in her mind. She laughed slightly.

“Ok, but then don’t tell anyone I’m keeping the things you gave me in my pillowcase.” She gave a wink.

Ben also laughed. Then the room became quiet. Ben debates telling Sofie about the fight he and Master Luke had last night, it wasn’t a special argument, but the topic always left Ben raw. 

“Do you ever… think about the darkness?” Ben started, barely audible. 

“I mean… as a passing thought, I guess. But here it’s pretty drilled into your head that the light always wins.” Sofie said, half still pondering in her head. “What about you?” She asked.

“Pretty often.” Ben said. No explanation. “But I think you’re right. Here it’s the light or the dark, no in between.” 

They shared a slightly uncomfortable silence. 

“Well don’t worry.” Sofie started. “Listen to what your heart says. You’ve been so kind to me, and I can tell you’re a great person. I’m sure you’ll just know.” 

The conversation stopped as breakfast finally started. 

* * *

Sofie’s emotions stabilized as the weeks went on. Obviously, things weren’t good all the time, but she found herself in moments that were freeing. Where the status of her family, or even of herself, didn’t matter. She was focused on the Force and her studies. 

Sofie walked again to Luke’s study. It was time for the monthly check-in. He liked to do it with all students to gauge where they were at and if they needed a bit of a realignment to get back on track. 

“Sofie!” Luke greeted her as she entered the small room claimed as Luke’s study. “Please, sit down.” 

Sofie sat in one of the wooden chairs. Luke also sat at his desk, he pulled out his notebook, ready to take notes.

“It’s been a while since Ben and I went on that mission where we had that encounter with your family. How have you been since then?” He asked, jotting down a quick note. 

“I’ve been doing better, not amazing, but definitely better,” Sofie started. “It’s been helpful to have something to focus on and distract myself with.”

“You’re still taking the time to meditate on it as well?” Luke asked her. She nodded. “Good,” he said. “Don’t forget to take the time to process.” 

“Something that’s surprised me has been how nice everyone has been,” Sofie commented out loud. “Voe is always asking if she can do anything for me and always asks if I want to go on random walks.” Sofie smiled to herself. “Ben too, I think because he went on the mission he was also affected by it. We chat all the time and he’s like Voe, always asking me to do random things.”

Luke perked up slightly. “That’s good to hear that the other students have been helping you as well.” He paused to think for a moment.

“Tell me, what do you think of Ben? Do you think he’s a good student?” Luke asked, putting down his pen briefly. 

Sofie nodded, “yes, I think he’s a good student. He’s clearly talented. Voe won’t stop talking about how she wishes she had ‘strength’ like him.” 

She wouldn’t admit it to Master Luke but she had also found him incredibly cute. She always noticed the way he held himself and the way his dark, wavy hair settled around his face. But it was his acts of kindness, strength, and company which had caused her to make up her mind. 

While Luke carefully calculated his next question she felt her face become warm. Sofie tapped her foot nervously as she felt her face.

“Tell me, Sofie, do you think that Ben shows any qualities that would make you think he was heading towards the dark?” Luke asked slowly. Sofie blankly stared at him, the numerous conversations that she and Ben shared replaying in her mind.

Ben didn’t necessarily  _ have _ any qualities that told her conscious to stay away, but he did share thoughts about thinking about the topic fairly frequently and they seemed to disturb him just as much as anyone else. 

Sofie put on her thinking face. “I don’t think so, he’s really kind to me and others.” 

It felt like Master Luke was staring into her soul, but she resisted the urge to break eye-contact, knowing it would make it more obvious she was telling a half-lie. 

“Listen, Sofie. I can tell you and Ben have gotten pretty close. You’re pretty good friends now.” Luke began. He closed his notebook and clasped his hands together. “This should stay between you and me,” he paused.

“I have been sensing some troubling things inside Ben, and I know it might not seem obvious to you.” Luke sighed. “He is talented, perhaps too talented for his own good, but there’s something... different.”

Luke paused. It pained him to say such things about his own nephew, but he could sense a growing closeness between him and Sofie. He feared it was only a matter of time until the situation imploded, and if he could move her out of the crossfire, it was a win for him. 

“I know you’re friends, but I encourage you to slowly make some distance, for your own safety.” Luke finally said. 

Sofie bit the inside of her lip. She nodded slowly. 

“I understand.” She said. Luke smiled at her.

“Good, thank you.” He changed his dementor instantly. “Well, other than that I think you are doing great. I understand that the situation with your family might have dampered your progress, but I’ve only seen you improve since then.” Sofie smiled and stood up. 

“Thank you, I hope I can keep that trajectory going.” She began her way to the door, trying not to seem hasty.

“Stay safe.” Luke said, waving her on. 

* * *

The advice, that might be better described as an order, that Luke had given to Sofie was easier said than done. There were only about 30 students of varying ages at the Jedi Academy, and Ben and Sofie had already become closer, which made it natural to talk and sit near each other. 

Sofie tried to get closer to her roommate Voe and meet some of her friends. Being in a group made it more difficult for Ben to interject and join.

But really, it didn’t feel right, and Ben must have had the same feeling as well.

Sofie tried to make sure that she never walked alone, because as time passed she could sense the confusion and hurt growing in Ben. However, another part of her was relieved, because it seemed like he wasn’t very confrontational. 

“Can you walk with me to the library?” Sofie asked Voe one night when they were both in their hut. 

Voe groaned. “I’m actually cramping right now, so not tonight. Sorry Sofie.” She turned onto her side and held her stomach. 

“Ok, I’m sorry, I hope you feel better.” Sofie said. She headed to the library anyway. It wasn’t like there was  _ real _ danger out there. Master Luke had made a suggestion, and she had been following it. 

The walk to the main building was uneventful. Sofie breathed a sigh of relief as she entered the building. There were some students in the main room, chatting over open books. She waved towards them, they waved back. 

She headed upstairs to the library. The entire top floor of the building was dedicated to the minimal books they had on Jedi Teachings and history, data-tapes, and filmsi. The rest of the room was more of a general study area. 

Once in the library she headed to the Jedi teachings section. She scanned the shelf for the book she was looking for. 

“Jedi Teachings… Jedi Teachings…” she said under her breath.

She began to reach for a book but was stopped short when she felt a tapping on her shoulder. She gasped and quickly turned around, bumping into the shelf in the process. 

“Sorry,” Ben said. Of course it was Ben. Sofie took a deep breath. 

“It’s ok, I just didn’t think anybody else was up here.” Sofie looked around the room anxiously, knowing what was probably next. 

“Can I… talk to you?” Ben asked her sweetly. She bit her lip. She wasn’t going to say no, she couldn’t say no.

“Sure.” She said, she followed Ben to a table that was slightly hidden in the corner of the room. He had a couple of books and various papers laid out on the table. 

They both sat and seemed to both be waiting for the other to start. 

Finally, Ben started.

“Have you been avoiding me?” He stated bluntly. Sofie rubbed her arms anxiously.

“I— I maybe have. But it wasn’t my choice.” She said. Ben looked at her, confused. 

“Master Luke told me to, he said it was for my own good.” She continued. “He said to just try and put some distance between us.” Sofie looked down on the ground, avoiding eye contact with Ben. She could feel her face getting warmer by the second. 

“I know that he’s afraid of me- or rather afraid of what I  _ can be.”  _ Ben said. “But I haven’t actually  _ done _ anything.” He continued, Sofie sensed a slight shaking in his voice. “He acts like I can control every thought and voice in my head. Like everything that he does is beneficial for me.” 

She looked at him, her heart aching. 

Ben stared at her back, trying to hide the emotion from his face. 

He didn’t know why it had hit him so hard, her ignoring him. 

Maybe it was the consistency of the theme in his life. Since his birth, he had been surrounded by people who were supposed to be close to him, but became preoccupied with other things. His mother, who had a strong career as a Senator and general, had sent him off, but was it because she had no time, or did not care about him?

Did his father move erratically across the galaxy because he could not help it, or because he did not care for Ben?

And now he had made a good friend, who had once again pulled away. It was almost like his uncle, mother and father  _ wanted  _ him to be in isolation. He felt a deep resentment.

Sofie held her hand out on the table. 

“I’m sorry,” she said. 

A voice echoed in Ben’s head. 

‘ _ If you don’t hold onto her now, she’ll go,’ _ The voice said.  _ ‘Then you’ll be alone again. The Skywalkers have already shown you their true colors.’ _

“I should have realized that there’s a difference between reality and what Master Luke says.” Sofie continued. 

Ben held her hand tightly and gave her a smile. 

“Will you stay here with me?” He asked her. 

She nodded and went to get the book she originally came to get. They studied together in silence until the stars had shifted their positions in the sky. 


	2. Chapter 2

Hiding their ever blossoming relationship from Master Luke was difficult for Sofie and Ben. They often resorted to walking far away from the main temple in order to feel secure, although neither of them could say what would happen if Master Luke discovered that they had done the complete opposite of drifting apart. 

Sofie agreed to meet up with Ben one day at the edge of the forest. They agreed that right before sunset would be a perfect time. 

She put on a cape with a hood to hide, just in case. Then Sofie walked the 10 minutes to the spot and found Ben waiting. He looked more serious than usual. 

“Hey,” she greeted him and sat on a tree stump next to him. 

“Hey there,” he said back to her. 

“Are you ok? You seem weird.” She asked him, trying to read his face. 

Ben looked at her with an understanding, but sad look.

There was a conflict inside his mind, and it wouldn’t leave him alone. It really wasn’t anything new, but it had been different recently. Before, his feelings were limited to himself. Now, Sofie was involved. He didn’t want to lose her, and he also wanted her to see his perspective.

Snoke, invading the thoughts inside his head, had been incessant that Luke would take her from him.

‘ _ How do you know she’s really dedicated to you and that Skywalker won’t take her in an instant?’ He already tried once before to keep you from her  _

Ben looked at her, noticing her cappuccino brown hair that had lightly been kissed by the sun. Her cheeks brushed by pink as she looked at him back. Her pink lips parsed into a smile as she attempted to read his mind. 

_ ‘Look at that beauty.’  _ Snoke echoed,  _ ‘I’ve seen the way she also looks at you, she won’t say no, do it.’ _

Ben hesitated.

_ ‘Do. It. _ ’ Snoke insisted again. 

Ben quickly grabbed Sofie’s face and kissed her. He closed his eyes, even though the kiss was brief. 

Once they separated he looked at her with wide eyes. Sofie stood up abruptly. Her stomach twisting, a look of confusion plastered on her face. Their breaths stopped.

“Why did you do that?” Sofie didn’t know what else to say. 

Ben stood up as well, his head towering over her. A million thoughts going through his head. He grabbed her hand.

“I-- you’re beautiful, and nobody’s ever treated me like you have before, and I--” Ben stared at her wide eyes. 

“I don’t want you to leave me.” Their faces both softened and turned from shock and into understanding.

Sofie stepped closer to him and held his cheek in her hand, giving him a small peck on the lips.

“I won’t.” She said and pulled him into a warm embrace. 

* * *

Days turned into months, and finally months into years. 

It seemed that nobody had noticed that an entire two years had passed. Sofie found herself turning 20 years old, while Ben reached the age of 24. 

They had gone to great lengths to hide their relationship, and despite a few close scares, they knew how to act cold to each other when in the presence of others. 

During this time, some students had moved on, while others had stayed and continued to train. For the older Jedi, there was no lack of missions from Master Luke. 

Ben and Sofie would occasionally talk about what the future held for both of them. Sofie didn’t have a definite place to go and she knew that setting out on her own would be difficult. 

For Ben, familial expectations were high. He knew everyone wanted him to do  _ something  _ with the training he had been doing for years. When Sofie pushed him harder for an answer on what he would do, he deflected her. 

He didn’t want to think about it.

Ben was the first student to the academy, which resulted in him being alone in the same hut for his entire 14-year stay. They had to be careful, but it provided a great place for them to have a semblance of privacy. 

Their biggest scare was recent. Master Luke scheduled a monthly meeting with Ben and Sofie at the same time. When Ben saw her also enter the room he looked at both of them with a look of confusion. 

“Don’t worry, don’t worry, come in.” Master Luke waved to Sofie as she entered the room. 

She sat down in a chair next to Ben, nervous butterflies stirring inside her. 

“I’m sure you have an idea of why I have brought both of you here at once.” Luke started. Sofie did her best to look confused and pushed the feelings of doubt to the back of her mind. 

“You have both been doing exceptionally well, so I want to send you on an important mission for me.” Luke continued. 

She could feel Ben breathing a sigh of relief, she also followed him as a weight was lifted from her shoulders. He didn’t pull them both into his office to accuse them of hugging and kissing and doing the  _ complete _ opposite of what he wanted. 

Ben and Sofie prepared to go on their mission, grateful to have the chance to spend time with each other in a different setting. 

Sofie packed a set of clothing and hid the pendant and ring Ben had given her in her pocket. 

“Have fun,” Voe said to her, just waking up for the day. “Just don’t have too much fun with Ben.” Sofie blushed. She may have told Voe a little bit about what had happened between her and Ben. 

She couldn’t deny that being able to have privacy in the hut made them a bit... handsy. 

Sofie reflected on a night she thought about often. Neither her or Ben had ever been that intimate with anyone, given their Jedi Temple isolation. It was an awkward experience for the both of them, but they shared comfort knowing they both felt unbearably awkward. 

Sofie snapped back to reality, her face turning red from her reflection. “Thanks, now I’ll have extra fun with him.” Sofie said, rolling her eyes and exiting the hut, “See ya!”

Sofie made her way to the ship that was reserved for mission-use only. Ben was already there talking to Master Luke. 

“Good morning, Sofie.” Luke said to her. 

“Good morning Master Luke, are we about ready to go?” Sofie asked him. Luke nodded. 

“Here are the coordinates to where you should go. Be careful. Remember, I expect to see you by sundown back here.” Luke handed Ben a data-tape. They waved goodbye and boarded the ship. 

Ben immediately took the pilot’s seat. Sofie sat next to him, forced to claim co-pilot. 

“Sorry, I just- haven’t flown in a while and I’m honestly excited.” Ben told Sofie. She nodded in understanding. “It’s fine, as long as I get to fly at least a  _ little _ bit.” She told him, grabbing his arm playfully. Ben smiled at her.

Ben lifted off and they began their journey to Galidraan. 

At a distance the planet was covered in a cloud cover, but as they got closer Sofie and Ben could make out the shape of mountains. 

“The data-tape also said that once we’re there we’re supposed to meet with someone named Trizai. He must be a contact of Master Luke?” Ben wondered out loud. 

The duo flew closer into the planet, and recognized the planet’s beauty. It was filled with forests and towering mountains. 

Ben stopped at the exact coordinates given to him by Luke. The ship landed in front of a grand-looking castle, complemented by the mountains surrounding it. 

“Wow,” Sofie gasped. “It’s so pretty.” She stared out the window at the solitary building. 

They exited the ship and were hit by cool air. “Definitely a bit cooler than home.” Sofie said, putting on her hooded cape. 

Sofie and Ben walked towards the entrance and were confronted by a large door. Sofie looked at Ben, and then knocked on it. There was a period of silence. 

Sofie knocked again. There was still no answer. 

She looked at Ben concernedly and felt a sinking feeling in her stomach. “Do you think they’ve left for a while? We just came at the wrong time?” 

Sofie and Ben turned and began to walk back to the ship. 

“I’ll double-check the coordinates,” Ben started, “there’s a chance we put in-” Ben abruptly stopped from sensing something that was off. He whipped his head towards the side where Sofie was walking. 

His breath staggered as soon as he saw her face-first on the ground. He rushed to her side and gently put his hands on her. 

“Sofie? Sofie!” He said loudly and shook her slightly, looking intensely for any response. 

His heart skipped again when out of the corner of his eye, the doors to the castle-like structure opened. He quickly grabbed his lightsaber, ready to activate it. 

Ben froze. Waiting for something to happen. 

_ ‘Finally, I’ve caught you. You weren’t giving me a straight answer to my question, so I had no choice.’  _ Snoke’s words echoed in Ben’s mind. Ben gulped. Snoke had been relentlessly asking him when he was going to finally make a choice on his alignment. He must have taken advantage of someone’s trust to get Sofie and him there. 

Snoke effortlessly began to pull an unconscious Sofie through the open doors, into the poorly-lit building. Ben jumped up and gasped slightly. 

_ ‘She’s fine. Come in.’  _ Snoke said. Ben reluctantly entered the castle. 

He stepped into an enormous, empty room. There was minimal light from some candles scattered around the room and he squinted to fully see the figure that stood about 20 feet away from him. 

Snoke himself stood in the middle of the room, and he carefully placed Sofie next to him. 

“Young Ben Solo, we finally meet. It’s a special moment so I made sure we met properly for the first time.”

Ben gripped his lightsaber tightly, and found himself slightly paralyzed in fear. 

“Be calm. I’m not here to hurt you. We just need to talk.” Snoke began to walk slowly towards Ben. 

“Did you hear the recent news?” Snoke started. Ben looked at him confusedly, his brows furrowing.

Snoke pulled out a holoprojector. Ben looked closely, and then blinked again in confusion. It was his mother. He walked closer to Snoke, captivated by the unexpected hologram. 

_ ‘I am sure you have all heard the news by now, and it pains me that it was given so publicly and abruptly.’  _ Leia’s hologram started.

_ ‘But I wanted for you to hear it from me also, and to clear up any misconceptions. Firstly, it is in fact true that my true parentage is traced to Darth Vader.’  _

Ben stared at the hologram, a mix of fear and confusion arising inside him. 

Leia continued. ‘ _ However, this does not change the abilities or accomplishments that I have already done. I was raised by separate loving parents and have no like or desire of my true parentage, please-’  _

Snoke cut the recording short and looked at the pondering Ben Solo. Ben put his lightsaber away and looked at Snoke in confusion. 

“This is why I’ve come for an answer from you, grandson of the great, late Darth Vader.” Snoke smirked. He could sense the pulling in Ben’s mind. 

“This… is this why? Is this why I can’t help but be pulled towards the dark?” Ben fell on his knees to the ground. 

Snoke spoke commandingly. “Darth Vader… is trying to use you from the beyond to finish what he could not finish himself. He regrets the weakness he showed in his last moments and wants you to be better than him.”

“But I-I-” Ben stuttered, “I don’t want to hurt anybody.” 

“Look at yourself Ben- how long have you been training as a Jedi? How long have you been  _ failing _ as a Jedi- being attracted to the dark side? You can keep suppressing your true self for this  _ weak _ persona, but it’s only a matter of time until you… can’t be pulled on any longer.” Snoke pulled Ben up to his feet. 

Ben looked towards Sofie, still motionless on the ground. 

“I-I,” Ben said, his voice slightly shaking. “I have to protect them.” 

“Then let the true, powerful Ben Solo take control.” Snoke rumbled. “The one that Luke Skywalker always tried to suppress, for this weak version. People also thought Darth Vader was weak and tried to suppress him, but did you see how powerful he became?”

Ben stood tall and moved right in front of Snoke. “Teach me.” He said, getting on one knee and lowering his head. 

Snoke searched inside Ben's mind again. He sensed a difference between Ben's words and his feelings. 

“You know what you might do,” Snoke whispered. 

A gust of wind blew through the room and the candles went out. Ben was suddenly swept off his feet and thrown into the wall. He rolled in pain and then looked around, panicked. 

“Snoke? Sofie?” He reached in the dark. Snoke must have vanished.

“Ben?” He heard a soft voice, Sofie. He tried to move and groaned in pain. 

“I’m here, Sofie, but I think I’m hurt.” He said out loud. Sofie tried to move closer to him, following his voice in the dark. She eventually found him and tried to help him up. 

“What the hell happened?” Sofie asked, having no memories between losing consciousness outside and appearing inside the castle.

“I don’t know,” Ben said. “We were suddenly attacked, and I tried to protect you, but then the people who attacked us disappeared.” Sofie supported Ben as he guided them towards the exit. 

“We need to leave  _ now _ then, it’s not safe here,” Sofie said, pushing Ben to go a bit faster. 

They gradually made their way back to the ship and Sofie immediately started their journey home. She was admittedly tickled by the fact she got to pilot but was also concerned about Ben’s condition. 

Ben had a pretty obvious bump on his head and seemed to feel some pain in his hip and back too. 

The ride back started quietly. Sofie didn’t know why she felt awkward, but she felt an unease in Ben. 

“Are you okay? What happened while I was out?” She asked him. Ben chuckled awkwardly, trying to keep things light despite the events.

“Do I look okay?” He teased. Sofie smiled and rolled her eyes. “You know what I mean.” She said. 

Ben’s expression turned flat. “I think I’m okay. It was just surprising, being attacked suddenly like that.”

Sofie nodded and decided to leave it at that. 

Once back home, Sofie helped Ben stagger out of the ship. They headed to Master Luke’s office to report the results of the mission and get Ben's medical care. 

Upon entering Luke’s office, Luke’s face turned sour and he immediately stood up.

“What happened?” He said, coming over to observe Ben’s injuries.

“We were attacked, I think it was a trap,” Ben said. Luke began to rummage for medical supplies “We didn’t even get to start looking for any Jedi artifacts.” 

Luke nodded and then took Sofie’s place in supporting him. “Thank you, Sofie, I’ll take him to his hut and get him fixed up.” 

Sofie smiled and waved goodbye at the both of them, even though she knew she would likely be visiting Ben soon anyway. 

Once near his bed, Ben flopped onto it semi-carefully. He was relieved to finally lay down.

Luke crossed his arms and looked at Ben. “So Ben, what exactly happened on the mission?” 

Ben gulped. “I already told you, we were attacked, I don’t know who they were or why they were there. We got out as quickly as possible.” 

“That’s it?” Luke said, unconvinced. “I’m not sure I believe you.” 

Ben scowled. “I’m telling the truth.” There was an uncomfortable silence between them. 

“If you want to tell me more later, I’ll listen. Also, your mother sent you this today.” Luke handed Ben a holoprojector. “I’ll let you listen to it.” Luke put patches for Ben’s bruising on the table before leaving.

Ben sat up and started the projection. 

“ _ Ben, I hope your Jedi training is going well, I miss you and hope to see you soon. _

_ I’m sending you this message to let you know something very important that I probably should have told you earlier.  _

_ It was recently revealed to the public that my true parentage is Anakin Skywalker, also known as Darth Vader. He was your grandfather. _

_ I understand if this is a shock to you, and I understand if you are disappointed that we did not tell you earlier.  _

_ We wanted to protect you, please remember-” _

Ben cut the message short and laid down to finally rest. 

He pondered his agreement to Snoke. Ben was open, but also skeptical. While unsure of the importance of good and evil, Ben knew that he was strongly drawn towards the traditions of being a Jedi. 

He pulled out his calligraphy set and practiced writing, ignoring all else. In studying and training it didn't matter what side you were on, this was what he enjoyed. 


	3. Chapter 3

After practicing calligraphy for a while Ben found himself getting sleepy. He rested his head down on his desk and shut his eyes.

When he opened his eyes again he was greeted by the moon and a knock. 

“It’s me, Ben,” Sofie said from outside. He told her to come in. She entered the hut and he noticed that she had something in her hand.

“This is from dinner.” She said, putting the package on his desk. He thanked her and started eating.

“Thank god, I was starving.” He said. Sofie sat on his bed and smiled. 

“I tried to eat but it’s hard for me to find my appetite with everything that happened earlier.” Sofie sighed. The thought of being completely defenseless and knocked out disturbed her. 

Already finished eating, Ben sat next to her on the bed and held her. 

“Don’t worry, I protected you then and I’ll protect you in the future.” He pushed a few strands of hair out of her face and gave her a gentle kiss. 

"Thanks, but remember that I can definitely handle most things myself," Sofie and Ben locked eyes. She searched them and pondered their meaning. Sofie became quiet.

“There was something that happened today.” She told him. He pulled back slightly. “How do you know?” Ben asked her.

“I can see it in your eyes, something changed.” She said. 

Ben looked towards the holoprojector sitting on his desk. He grabbed it and started it up.

“You must be thinking of this,” Ben said, handing her the projector. 

Leia’s projection ran through her same speech. Sofie felt her heart drop as she closed it with a reminder that she loved him and would see him soon.

She handed him back the projector. “You’re… related to Darth Vader?  _ The  _ Darth Vader?” She didn’t know what to say.

“How do you feel about it?” She finally asked him. He looked towards the ground. 

“It’s strange. And different. And I’m not sure how to feel honestly. He’s a role model to some and considered the absolute worst by others.” Ben moved the projector around in his hand.

Sofie pulled Ben into an embrace. “Well, just don’t let it define you. Darth Vader or not, you’ve treated me well. And your mother is so sweet, I would have never guessed that she was related to him.” Ben smirked at her comment. His mother had visited a few times and Sofie always made an effort to talk to her as much as possible. 

Ben probably knew that her mother suspected that something was happening between the two of them. 

While Ben was lost in thought, Sofie pulled herself onto his lap and straddled him carefully. 

“Can we?” She smiled at him, shooting him a suspicious gaze. “Or are you too hurt?” He smirked at her. 

"Never." He replied.

* * *

Unbeknownst to Sofie and Ben, while they laid in Ben’s bed with each other in their arms, an unexpected visitor came in the early morning. 

Master Luke decided to get up slightly before sunrise to see if Ben had processed the recent news and the events of the day before. 

But when Luke arrived to Ben’s hut, he hesitated. Something wasn’t right. 

Before deciding to knock he peeked through the small window near Ben’s desk. It was dark but his eyes only confirmed what he sensed. Another person. 

He knew instantly, even if he didn’t want to admit it. His subconscious crept up and started to tell him that he should have known. 

Luke quickly slipped away, pondering what he should do. It seemed unfair to punish just one person since it took two to have the relationship. He also knew that there would be unprecedented consequences if he expelled his nephew from the academy. What would he say to his sister and his friend? 

He decided that objectively, he could tell Sofie that because of her actions and disregard for authority, he could ask her to leave. 

A few minutes after Luke’s visit, Sofie woke up. It was still dark and she could tell that Ben was still sleeping. She nudged him gently. 

“Ben, I think I have to go back to my hut for now.” She kissed him in his sleep and he muttered a few words while half-asleep. 

Sofie speed-walked back to her hut, trying to stay inconspicuous. She had done the same thing many times, but she always feared being confronted by someone, wondering why she was running around in the early hours of the morning. 

She slipped quietly into her hut, trying not to wake Voe. Sofie slipped in her bed to help with the illusion that she was there the whole time. She laid in silence, waiting for a sign that it was the normal time to get up. 

Voe eventually woke up and she and Sofie went through their typical morning routine.

Then, the routine was changed when Luke asked Sofie to come to his study after breakfast. 

Sofie’s stomach turned, but she couldn’t place why. Maybe it had something to do with the mission yesterday? 

Sofie finished eating, waved goodbye to everyone and made her way to Master Luke’s office. She knocked carefully once she got the door, biting her lip with anxiety. “Come in,” Luke said through the door.

Sofie smiled at him as she entered, he smiled back. 

Despite this exchange, the feeling in her stomach remained.

She sat as usual and waited for him to start talking. She could tell he didn’t want to start. 

“I called you in because I needed to let you know that...” Luke started and Sofie gulped. “...We’re going to have to send you home.” Sofie’s stomach finally, fully dropped. 

“Why?” She asked quickly, trying to keep a face of disbelief, even though she secretly knew. 

“This morning I saw you with Ben in his hut.” He stated to her. “And it pains me because this has nothing to do with your performance. In fact, I believe that if you were just a bit more focused, you’d be the best student here.” Sofie kept eye contact but felt shame building up in her. 

“I told you to be careful around Ben, and you went directly against my orders.” Luke sighed. Sofie frowned.

“What about Ben?” Sofie started. “Did you ever tell him to stay away from me? Or even take the time to figure out why exactly I should stay away from him so that maybe I _could_ become closer to him?” 

“I already know why, and it’s because of things that neither of us can control.” Luke stood up abruptly. “Gather your things, I have a shuttle scheduled to pick you up and take you back to Nexa and it should be coming soon. Wait in your hut, I’ll knock when it’s ready.” Sofie looked at him in shock.

“Nexa? What am I supposed to do there?” Sofie said, ready to beg him to send her somewhere else that was at least _known_ to be safe. 

Luke frowned. “It’s where we first picked you up, so it is where we will drop you off.” Sofie stood from her chair. She could tell his mind was made up, and that there was no use arguing with him. 

Without another word she left his study and headed straight back to her hut. 

* * *

Sofie felt like she was on the verge of tears as she entered her hut. Voe was inside, getting ready for training. She looked at Sofie with confusion and could sense that something was wrong. 

“Sofie? What’s wrong?” Voe asked. 

“Master Luke says I have to leave,” Sofie said with the waterworks beginning. She started to pack up her things into her backpack. 

“What?!” Voe exclaimed. “Why?” Sofie sighed.

“I guess it’s because of Ben and me.” Sofie stuffed her extra clothes into her bag lazily. “He’s potentially bad news according to Luke and I was supposed to stay away from him.” 

Voe looked exasperated. “He knows it takes two people to fuck right? And besides, Master Luke’s the one who _sent_ you two on a mission together.” 

Sofie laughed slightly. “Well, then I guess that tells you how much he  _ didn’t _ suspect anything. So imagine how shocked he was to see  _ me _ in Ben’s bed this morning.” She wiped a tear from her eye. 

Voe just stood there, shocked. Sofie finally picked up her last item to pack, her lightsaber. 

“Where are you going?” Voe asked. 

“Nexa, he said that’s where I was picked up, so it’s where I’ll be dropped off.” Sofie put her final item away and put the backpack on her bed.  “I’ll miss you.” Was all Voe could say. She pulled Sofie into a hug and resisted her own tears from forming.

“You’re going soon, right?” Voe asked Sofie. She nodded. She gave her another hug. Voe looked at her sadly but then left the hut to start training. 

Sofie sat on her bed. She looked towards her pillow.  _ Shit,  _ she thought. She forgot something.

She grabbed her pillow and shook it until a pendant and ring fell out. The ones Ben gave her. 

“If I don’t say goodbye to Ben, at least I’ll have this.” She said to herself. She was trying not to think about that part. 

Sofie felt like it took forever for Luke to come and take her to the ship. 

A quick knock came on the door.

“Time to go,” Luke’s voice said to her through the door. She was right in that it was a long time because the sun had already set when she stepped outside. 

Luke led her to the ship and introduced her to the pilot. 

“I’m not allowed to say goodbye to Ben, I’m assuming?” Sofie asked Luke right before boarding. Luke shook his head. 

“I’m sorry,” he said to her quietly. She nodded slightly, in understanding and resentment. 

Sofie entered the shuttle, it was spacious enough to give her and the pilot some space but be in close proximity. Sofie sat towards the back, trying not to make conversation with the pilot 

She rested her head and closed her eyes, trying not to think about what had happened. 

* * *

Back at the Jedi Academy, the day was fairly boring for Ben. He tried to entertain himself in his hut but also tried to venture outside to watch others. 

He went to watch the other students in the main plaza area. He saw many of the familiar faces but noticed that Sofie was missing. 

Dinner time came and he managed to drag himself to the actual dining hall. 

No Sofie again, but this time he passed by Voe. Voe stopped dead in her tracks when she saw him. She motioned him to follow her as she headed to an open table. 

Once they were seated, Voe started the interrogation. 

“Did you get to see her before she left?” She asked Ben in a slightly hushed voice. 

“What? What are you talking about?” Ben asked, somewhat too loud for Voe’s tastes. She shushed him. She didn’t know if it was to be shared by anyone but Luke yet. 

“Master Luke sent her back to Nexa this morning. He saw you two in your bed this morning.” Ben’s face instantly turned a bright shade red. He looked around the room nervously. 

“She’s gone?” Ben asked in complete disbelief. 

“She left a while ago, I think,” Voe said. Ben immediately stood up and headed to find Luke, leaving his food behind. 

Voe watched him, mouth agape. She looked at his abandoned food and huffed. 

Ben quickly walked to the main building, asking anyone if they had seen Luke. They confirmed what he assumed, that he was in his study. 

Ben arrived at the study and opened the door immediately. Luke looked at him, knowing exactly what was coming. He stood up. 

“Ben, I know why you’re here. Have a seat.” Luke started. Ben refused. 

“Why did you send Sofie away?” He demanded. 

“She left on her own will,” Luke said. Ben looked at him, his expression changing. “But Voe said-” Luke stopped him.

“It was just an easier way for her to go. It was time for her to move on.” Luke sat down again. “If you had taken the time to notice her as a Jedi and not just as a lover, you would have realized how much skill and potential she had.” 

Ben shifted his weight and diverted his gaze. “No, I knew that already. I could feel it through the Force.”

“I know it seems sudden, Ben,” Luke said. “But let’s talk later, I have some business to take care of.” A look of hurt flashed across Ben’s face. 

He left the study in silence and stood outside. 

“ _ Do you actually believe Skywalker, Solo?” _ Snoke echoed inside his head- again. 

“ _ He obviously sent her away because he’s afraid of you, and he’s afraid of you hurting her. He finally saw how close you had become. And now he dismisses you and sends her away without another word?”  _ Ben closed his eyes tightly. 

“Stop,” he whispered out loud, smothering his anger. “I want to be alone right now.” 

Ben walked back to his hut and began a restless night. 

He was torn between believing what Snoke told him, and trusting that his uncle was making the best choices, even if they didn’t seem right to him. 

But most of all, he missed her. 

Finally, he dozed off into something that he could call sleep. 

Then, losing track of time, he sensed something. It called him out of his sleep. 

He turned over, half-asleep. He thought his eyes were deceiving him at first, but as they adjusted he knew he wasn’t mistaken. 

It was his uncle, lightsaber drawn and with an otherworldly look in his eyes. 

Ben gasped, said nothing and grabbed his lightsaber off of his desk. He breathed heavily, his body nearly petrified with fear. 

He decided that he couldn’t spare even half a second if he wanted to live.

Ben closed his eyes and concentrated. He began to hear the hut crack around him, then the hut came crumbling down around both of them. 

Seconds later, Ben pushed aside the rubble and pulled himself out of the now fallen hut. He got up quickly and stared at the hut, his eyes searched for Luke in the rubble. 

“Why… what did I do…?” Ben wondered out loud. “Why was he trying to kill me?” His voice slightly shook in fear. He thought about everything that Snoke had warned him about. His own strength, Sofie, the pulling that he felt inside him. 

His fear turned into anger, anger that overtook him completely as he realized how much he had been scorned. 

The one person who he was supposed to trust and look towards for everything, had attempted to murder him. His own family member. The thoughts overtook his mind, finally solidifying their place as being true. 

Then, when he came back to reality everything had changed.

There was a fire. Ben panicked. He ran to the other huts, trying to get to the other students so he could save them. 

He sprinted as quickly as he could but was thrown back by a sudden explosion. His ears rang as his already sore body hit the ground. 

The initial fire had now covered every building in the vicinity and reduced all of them to rubble. 

“Oh.. oh my god.” Ben mouthed, trying to see if anything had not been destroyed. “What happened? I- I didn’t want this to happen. I was just trying to save myself.” 

A voice rang in the back of his mind.

_ “It isn’t your fault.” _

* * *

Thousands of miles away from Ben, Sofie slept peacefully in the spaceship. 

Then, something pulled her out of her sleep and she felt her heart start beating wildly. 

She jumped up, unsure of what was happening and looked around the ship. 

Her blood pressure was sky high without any explanation. Trying not to give herself a panic attack, she closed her eyes and tried to relax. 

Under her eyelids, she saw fire. 

She ran to the pilot, “We have to go back.” She said to him, exasperated. The pilot looked at her and resisted laughing. “I’m sorry, but I’m following orders from Luke Skywalker.” Sofie narrowed her eyes. 

She drew her lightsaber. Its glow reflected off the pilot’s face, his face turned from amusement into fear. 

“Okay, if you want it that bad, be my guest.” 

A couple of minutes later, Sofie made sure he was restrained and wasn’t going anywhere. 

She took control of the ship and started the journey back to the academy, flying as quickly as possible. Her mind thought of all the possibilities while she traveled. Was everyone okay? Could it be just a small fire? But if so, why did she have such a reaction?

Sofie made it in record time and landed the plane. Through the window, she saw the same fire as when she closed her eyes, only more smothered than before. 

Unsure of what exactly happened, Sofie ran out of the plane and straight to where thought Ben’s hut would have been. It was hard to tell with the destruction.

She found where she assumed it had been, but it was a pile of rubble now, surrounded by flames. She lifted the rubble with the Force and moved it to the side. 

A person. She said to herself. She got closer to inspect.

It was Luke. 

Sofie hesitated but decided to brush the rest of the rubble off of Luke and get him out of the mess. She scanned again for Ben but didn’t see any sign of him. She grew more concerned by the minute. Could he have done this?

Sofie tapped on Luke's shoulder firmly, trying to wake him up. He slowly came to and Sofie sighed with relief. Maybe she didn’t agree with his actions earlier in the day, but she knew that it ultimately came from an attempt for goodness. She couldn't just leave him underneath the rubble. 

Luke came to, and recognized Sofie. He thought he might have been hallucinating at first, with the combination of her and the fire blazing around him. 

“...Sofie?” He mouthed in confusion. Sofie helped him get up. 

“Yes, it’s really me. You’re not dreaming.” She told him sadly. 

Luke scanned the destruction that had been done. 

“What have I done?” He walked around slowly, scanning the area and trying to take in what had been done. 

He hastily moved rubble to reveal R2-D2 and leaned on him. R2-D2 beeped sadly. Luke tried to be reassuring.

“What do you mean what have you done? This couldn’t have possibly been from you.” Sofie said to Luke. 

“I failed Ben,” Luke started. “He needed me to trust him, and for him to trust me, and I ruined that.” Luke sighed, defeated. 

“I tried to attack him in his sleep because I felt something shift when you left. I had to know.” Sofie looked at the rubble and bit her lip anxiously. It _was_ Ben that caused this. “In his mind… I saw dark things. I saw him as the cause of the end of everything I loved.” 

Luke fell to the ground. 

“It was a reflex, but it was still my fault. I’m a failure.” He held his head in shame. “And now he’s on a path that can’t be stopped.”

Sofie stepped towards him. “No, I’ll stop him, I can stop him. I had a part in this too. Maybe I should have listened to you so that you could have focused on helping him. Maybe this wouldn’t have happened then.” 

“No,” Luke said to her. “This was all me, I was supposed to be his master.” 

“But… I’m sure that light is still there, it has to be.” Sofie said desperately. Luke shook his head. 

“Sofie what I saw… if you saw it too, you’d understand.” Luke stood up and began walking away. 

“Get away from here, and just try to live a semi-normal life. Forget about all of this.” Sofie watched as he and R2-D2 headed towards his spaceship. 

She watched as they began to leave in shock and began to run towards them. “So you’re giving up?” She asked Luke.

“I don’t deserve to continue or try.” He said, still walking. 

“But... at least tell me where you’re going. Where I can find you.” She said to him as they reached his ship. He looked at her with a strange calmness. 

“You’ve been my student all these years, I’m sure you can figure it out.” Sofie lowered her head and sighed as Luke went into the ship with R2-D2. She began to walk to the ship that she had been piloting earlier. 

As she walked through the rubble she moved pieces, trying to see if there was anything that she could salvage. She scanned the ground, but everything was completely destroyed. 

She got back to the ship and stood in silence as she looked back at the rubble. She felt a mix of emotions. She felt for Luke, who was hurt and had now lost an entire generation of Jedi, possibly the last. She also felt for Ben, now on a journey guided initially by his own doubts. 

Inside the ship, she found the pilot who she had restrained. 

“It’s all gone.” She told him. He stared back at her, confused. “Everything and everyone, it’s gone.” She started the ship and headed to Nexa as they had originally planned. 

She sat in silence for the entire duration of the trip, unsure of what to do next, but determined to stop whatever darkness Luke had sensed. 


	4. Chapter 4

Once back in Nexa, Sofie felt a wave of deja-vu wash over her. It had been over 10 years since she had been home. She recognized certain things, but others were completely unfamiliar.

She decided to try and find an old friend, someone she knew would probably still be in the same place. She ventured to the main town square from the port. The capital city, Ambury, was her hometown and consequently the busiest and most prosperous city on the planet. The population density was high in the city center, but it had plenty of sprawl and you could find the rural areas if you traveled far enough. 

Sofie began to walk in the general direction of her friend's house and kept an eye out for anybody who looked like they might be traveling far. She asked about a dozen people if they were heading towards Estercester before she finally found someone. 

It cost her a set of robes, but she knew it’d be worth it and parted with them easily.

She sat in the back of a hovercraft also carrying grain and the city slowly turned into homes, and then finally open land. She enjoyed the wind and scenery that she had missed. Large mountains stood in the distance, gently capped by white snow. The air was somewhat chilly, but she didn’t mind it with her cape. 

She watched as speeders went past them, she was glad to choose the cheaper and more relaxing option.

Finally, they arrived at her second path. She could see the house in the distance. She thanked the man who had taken her and started walking. Butterflies floated in her stomach as she walked. What if her friend didn’t recognize her? What if she had decided that she disliked her? 

Sofie had known her friend Ress for as long as her memory would let her remember. They both went to a small, private school generally chosen by people looking for a more “prestigious” setting and reputation. Ress’s father was a successful Archivist and considered himself a scholar with studies done in his spare time. 

Sofie finally found herself at the door and took a deep breath before knocking. 

She fidgeted as sounds emitted from the house and jumped slightly when the door opened a crack. 

A feminine voice interrogated her.

“What do you want?” The voice asked her. Sofie’s breath caught in her throat. 

“Ress…? Ress, it’s me, Sofie.” She said gently. Ress hesitated from behind the door but then opened it up completely. She looked at Sofie in pure shock. 

“I thought you were gone forever!” Ress exclaimed. She smiled at her, half in disbelief. “Come in.” She motioned towards Sofie.

Sofie gave a breath of relief. Things were still as she had left them. 

The house had the feel of a cabin, cottage, and contemporary home all at once. 

Sofie and Ress sat at the large wood dining table. “It’s only my mom and me right now, she’s working in the back. I was just making us lunch.” She offered Sofie a piece of bread. 

“Thank you so much, I don’t think you know how much this means to me.” Sofie gladly took the bread and gave Ress a huge smile. 

They talked for what felt like minutes but were actually hours. Even with the periodic interruptions of her mother, father and younger sister passing through, they had too much to catch up on and easily dove back into their topics. 

Sofie told her about entering the Jedi Academy and how much she had learned. She brought her up to speed on what had happened between her, Luke, the other students, and Ben. She described the scene of destruction she had just witnessed. 

Ress also told her about the overthrowing of her family, the descent into danger and oppression, and the slow recovery. She told Sofie about how they were lucky to still have their house, and how everyone was afraid that their conquerors would take everything. 

Sofie finally asked the question that had been nagging at her.

“Do you know where the rest of my family went?” She asked Ress. Ress’s face turned dark and she shook her head. 

“I don’t think they told anybody. They didn’t know who they could trust.” Ress held her friend’s hand. She continued. 

“I can try to help you find them, but it might be hard.” Sofie nodded.

She had to decide between that and trying to help Ben. Her subconscious told her that even if she weren’t to save Ben for Ben, she should prevent the future that Luke saw. She knew she couldn’t mourn the loss of the Ben she knew forever. 

“Let’s keep it as a side quest, there’s something that’s much more urgent,” Sofie said to Ress. 

They decided to call the night off early and determine the next steps in the morning. Ress let Sofie sleep in the spare bedroom once used by her older brother. 

Sofie snuggled up under the covers, grateful to be safe and with familiar faces. 

* * *

Sofie’s eyes fluttered and she began to wake from a deep slumber. She was warm, and for a brief second, it felt like how she felt waking up yesterday morning. Her mind brought her back to simpler times when she wasn’t worried about Ben, being kicked out of the Academy, or the entire place burning down.

Then, she fully woke. She realized where she was and felt her mood shift. 

But something worse was coming. 

She jerked up suddenly, a terrible feeling beginning in her stomach. Sofie put her hand over her mouth and searched the room frantically. 

Once she eyed the trash can about five feet away she threw herself out of the bed and puked into the trash can. She looked at it in horror and confusion. 

“Gross…” She said under her breath, holding her head. “Am I sick?” 

It was still early in the morning and the sun was barely coming out. Checking that nobody else was around, Sofie quickly scuttled to the bathroom to rinse her mouth. 

Then she left the bathroom and gasped when she saw Ress’s mother, Marisra, standing just outside the door. 

“Sorry, I was just surprised,” Sofie said. Marisra smiled at her, “It’s okay, did you sleep well?” Sofie nodded.

“I did, but I think I’m sick or just stressed out, my stomach is not happy... I might have puked in the trash can in my room.” Sofie said, assuring herself she’d be the one to clean it up. 

Marisra laughed. “No worries, as long as you’re not pregnant!” She continued into the kitchen. Sofie froze, considering the possibility. 

Now that she thought about it, she had missed her period, and she and Ben had been intimate at least every two weeks. She hated to admit it, but their usual method was pulling out. But what other options do you have in a place like that?

_ I am so fucking stupid.  _ Sofie thought in her head. 

Even if she wasn’t pregnant, just the thought alone was terrifying to her. She had to know. 

Without another thought, Sofie knocked on Ress’s door. She heard a groggy “Come in,” through the door. She quickly let herself in and shut the door behind her, Ress sat up from her bed and yawned. 

“Ress... I think I need to get a pregnancy test.” Sofie said slowly.

Ress, still in bed, stared at her and then fell back on her pillow. She sighed heavily. 

“Ok, but just know it is  _ way  _ too early for this.”

\---

Under the guise of looking for information on Sofie’s family, Ress and Sofie headed to the city on speeders. 

They headed into a drug store. The shop was small and slightly disorganized. Ress asked the shop owner if they had any pregnancy tests. He assured them he did and took Sofie and Ress over to where they were. 

Sofie picked up one and sighed. She was embarrassed to be seen in public doing this, and even more ashamed that on her second day with Ress, they were getting a pregnancy test of all things. 

They bought the test and Ress took her to a small cafe. Sofie and Ress ordered food, and then Sofie excused herself to the bathroom. Ress waved at her and shot her a hopeful look. 

Sofie took the test to the bathroom and inspected it. She opened the box. It had a small cup and then chemicals in a dropper. 

_ Weird, but as long as it gets the job done. _ She thought as she followed the instructions best to her ability. 

She watched the cup for a good minute, waiting for the results. White was pregnant, blue was not pregnant.

She closed her eyes.  _ Do I want to know? What will I even do? How could I even support a child?  _ Sofie knew that she could ask questions all day, but it wouldn’t change her reality. 

She opened her eyes.

White.

_ Fuck. _

Sofie stood there. Not sure of what to do next. She threw the packaging into the trash and looked at herself in the mirror. 

She stared at herself and sobbed lightly. Her mind replayed yesterday and she thought about a different life she could have had. 

She and Ben could’ve had the child. They could have been supported by his parents and Luke, she and Ben could have had an excuse to live together, to build a life. Home-cooked meals. Jedi work. Missions together. Teaching. 

She wiped tears from her eyes and left the bathroom. 

Tess could tell the result was as soon as she saw her. She gave her a hug and thought about the absurdity of it all. An old childhood friend finding her and having to deal with a pregnancy. 

They ate their food and kept the mood light despite the results. 

It was a quiet journey back to Ress’s place as well. Sofie excused herself to the spare bedroom as quickly as she could. 

She laid on the bed and stared at the ceiling. 

Maybe it was a bad idea to continue the lineage of Darth Vader. But perhaps the child could be a reason for Ben to return to the light. Would he even care? What was he doing now? Would he look for her?

Sofie wiped more tears from her eyes. She knew what she wanted to do. The reaction of Ben would decide for her. If he didn’t care, there was no reason to keep pursuing a hopeless cause. But if any part of him wanted to be involved, that was enough for her. 

She closed her eyes and tried to imagine the dark side of Ben. She replayed the conversations they had together in her mind. 

Then, she sat up quickly, three words appearing in her head. 

_ Knights of Ren. _

Ben had told her that they made a plea to him while he was on a mission with Luke and told him that they could see his potential and that if he ever wanted to, he could join them. At the time he laughed it off, but Sofie knew that his reaction wasn’t enough to count it out. 

She grabbed her backpack and ran out of the room. Tess and her entire family were having a snack in the kitchen. They looked at her, all of them confused. Tess gulped.

“Do any of you know anything about the Knights of Ren?” 

* * *

After Sofie’s inquiry, Tess’s father advised her to be careful when researching such a topic. They were a destructive and dangerous group and any information about them would probably be found in a seedy cantina. 

Concerned for her safety, Tess’s father did a bit more asking around and eventually contacted a friend of a friend who was a spacer and had been in the general area where the Jedi Temple was. He knew about everything happening in that area. 

That was enough information for Sofie. She decided to pursue the lead. 

“Thank you for everything Tess, I’m sorry I couldn’t stay longer.” Sofie told Tess as she dropped her off in the city. Tess gave her a hug. 

“I hope I can see you again. One day.” Tess told her with a smile. 

She left and Sofie waved goodbye. 

Sofie went into nearby cantina where Tess’s father’s contact would be. He told her to look for a human spacer named Jaa Kilis. 

The inside was barely lit and despite it being half full, she felt like all eyes were on her when she entered. 

She grabbed a drink and began to look around. A man sitting alone at a booth to the left of her looked at her. She looked back at him and then walked towards him.

“Jaa Kilis?” Sofie asked him. 

“That’s me.” He replied. Sofie sat down and shook his hand. She was relieved that she found him easily. 

“Sofie, nice to meet you.” She smiled at him. 

Jaa didn’t ask too many questions, but rather answered Sofie’s questions. He told her that it must have been fate for him to overhear a conversation at the cantina in Varnak. He told Sofie how he had seen Ben Solo himself meeting with the Knights of Ren. Their conversation had consisted of Ben describing a violent confrontation with some students that had also attended the Jedi academy. 

Sofie’s ears perked up at the mention of her peers. 

“Students? But I saw the Jedi Academy, there were no survivors. Did he say any names?” She asked Jaa. He shook his head. 

“If he did, I don’t remember. But after Ben described that scene, the Knights decided to let Ben go with them to Minemoon. They told him to wait and get a change of clothes first. He had some pretty tattered robes. From what I heard, their goal is to steal an ancient artifact ” Jaa described. 

“Minemoon?” Sofie said under her breath.  “Could you possibly take me there in your ship?” 

“I can drop you off but you’ll have to find your own way back,” Jaa said. Sofie bit her lip. 

“Okay.” She said, deciding to trust her own abilities. 

Sofie and Jaa headed off to Minemoon urgently. Jaa wasn’t sure if they had already left or not. 

Luckily for them, their timing was perfect. 

It wasn’t difficult to figure out where Ben and the Knights of Ren had gone since the moon was small. Jaa and Sofie began their descent to the mine. As they got closer to the ground, Sofie saw two ships. One was unfamiliar to her, but the other one was just landing and she recognized it from the Jedi Academy. 

Her heart skipped a beat. A spark of hope was lit inside her. Maybe all that Luke had worked for wasn’t completely destroyed yet. 

Once they landed Sofie hastily thanked Jaa and asked what she owed him. Jaa said she was covered through a favor. 

“I’ll always help a Hulrose. I knew your father, he was very kind to me.” He waved goodbye to Sofie and she waved back sadly. She wished she could do more for him. 

Staying on task, she started to approach the ship she recognized from the Jedi Academy. She activated her lightsaber as a precaution. 

The ship’s door began to open and Sofie watched in anticipation. 

As soon as they came out of the ship, Sofie knew she couldn’t be mistaken. 

“Tai! Voe!” She yelled as loudly as she could across the desert terrain. They must have heard her because they turned in her direction. She ran towards them. Voe was familiar to her since they were roommates for so long. She knew Tai was close to Voe as well but regarded him as a familiar acquaintance.

“Sofie!” She heard Voe yell back. They hugged as soon as Sofie caught up to them. 

“What the  _ hell _ are you doing here? I thought I was never going to see you again.” Voe asked Sofie. 

“I guess I could ask you guys the same thing. I saw what happened to the Academy. I thought there were no survivors.” Sofie explained between breaths.

Voe and Tai’s faces turned dark. “Everyone except us and Hennix. We had a confrontation with Ben and unfortunately lost Hennix along the way.” 

Sofie frowned. “He killed him?” She asked. Voe and Tai nodded. “Ben has… become something neither of us could have imagined. But we still believe he can be saved.” Tai told Sofie. 

Sofie nodded in agreement. “I have hope too.” 

The three of them walked confidently and headed into the mine. Sofie felt reassured with them by her side. 

Sofie, Tai, and Voe entered the mine and immediately saw Ben with an unknown person. They looked like they were having a tense conversation. Cries of help emitted from further down the mine. 

Tai and Voe moved quickly past both of them further into the mine. The unknown man ran after them. 

Sofie stood at the mouth of the mine alone with Ben. Ben turned to face her and a look of shock washed over his face. 

Ben rubbed his eyes in confusion, unsure if she was real. 

Sofie unactivated her lightsaber and locked eyes with Ben. She took a cautious step forward. 

“It’s me, Ben.” Sofie said to him sadly. 

“What are you doing here?” Ben asked, gripping his lightsaber tightly. 

“We came to try and help you,” Sofie started. “I saw what happened at the Jedi Academy. Please, don’t join the Knights of Ren. Don’t go down this path.” 

Ben just stared at her, softening his defensive stance. 

“Did you really choose to leave?” Ben asked her. Sofie looked at him, puzzled.

“What? Choose to leave? Luke found us that morning and told me I  _ had _ to leave.” She explained, slowly taking another step towards him. 

“Why didn’t you put up any kind of fight?” Ben said, looking at her suspiciously. Sofie sighed. 

“I understood why he was doing it, with reputations and everything. But I also knew we’d be reunited somehow, so I wasn't worried,” Sofie explained to him. Maybe the situation they were currently in wasn’t how she imagined they would meet again, but they _were_ together. 

Ben still said nothing, Sofie could read the nervousness on his face. Becoming more desperate, she moved as close as she could while still feeling secure. 

“Ben,  _ please. _ I love you. Let’s just put this behind us and be together like we wanted.” Sofie said, on the verge of begging. 

Now about eight feet away from him, Sofie swore she saw tears forming in his eyes. 

Ben closed his eyes. An unknown voice spoke to him in his head. 

_ This is it, _ the voice started,  _ this is the kill that will prove your worthiness. She knows everything you’ve done, it’s too late. _

Sofie’s body became rigid and she gripped her unactivated lightsaber. 

Ben opened his eyes and locked eyes with Sofie. She held her breath, activated her lightsaber and got in a defensive pose. Ben read the sadness across her face. She shook her head lightly at him as if she knew what he planning. 

A split second later, Ben swung towards her. She reacted quickly, blocked his swing and pushed him back with her lightsaber. 

Sofie wanted to only fight defensively but could tell she wouldn’t have the option. 

Ben tried to get the upper hand on her and swung at her multiple times. Sofie blocked his attempts and then Force threw him across the mine entrance. She took a deep breath, reminding herself that Ben was in turmoil and that as long as she stayed cool and collected, she could best him. 

She approached him with calmness and lunged at him. He countered her moves as they delved into a full out duel. 

They were equally matched and had trained together numerous times before. Sofie knew Ben’s tricks and quirks, but this also meant that he knew hers as well. 

They both swung at each other dozens of times, neither of them making much progress. 

Then, they both lunged at once and came into a close lock. Sofie observed the sweat on Ben’s forehead and felt both lightsabers warming her face as well. 

She stopped, letting her guard down for a brief moment. She realized that she didn’t recognize him, and it pained her to look at him.

Ben broke the closeness and Force shoved her, causing Sofie to lose her balance, fumble her lightsaber and get the wind knocked out of her. She slid backward on the dirt. Ben loomed over her and lifted his saber. 

Sofie tried to catch her breath, “Ben… wait,” she said weakly. She watched two lone tears roll down his cheeks. She could sense the hesitation in him. 

“I’m pregnant! Ben, please!” Sofie blurted out, tears forming in her own eyes. Sofie watched Ben’s expression change, but she couldn’t tell what it changed into. 

_ Stop. _

Snoke echoed in Ben’s head.  _ Don’t kill her, bring her to me.  _

Sofie felt a wave of relief wash over her as she watched Ben lower his weapon. 

Her relief changed into confusion when he Force lifted her. 

“What are you doing?!” She asked him, exasperated. 

Ben’s face now showed no emotion. “I’m taking you to Snoke,” He said to her. Sofie panicked and struggled to break free. 

“ _ Ben! _ I know this isn’t really you, don’t do this!” She pleaded with him, tears rolling down her cheek now. She yelled and screamed as loudly as she could, maybe it was to get Voe and Tai's attention, or maybe it was because she felt like she had lost all control, and didn't know what else to do. 

Ben tried to ignore it here and blocked out all of his emotions. It made it easier to handle, as he knew he couldn't handle it much longer. 


	5. Chapter 5

Sofie laid on the ground, only able to watch what was happening in front of her now. Ben made makeshift restraints from the jacket he was wearing. A bit of Force work and Ben could make sure she didn’t go anywhere. 

The unknown man who was talking to Ben came back. He glanced at Sofie, and then back at Ben.

“You keeping her for a reason?” He laughed at Ben and walked towards Sofie. “The face is okay, but the body…” Sofie glared at him and spit towards his feet, making sure that it landed on his shoes. The man scowled and lifted his foot.

“Snoke’s orders, Ren,” Ben explained. 

“For what?” Ren sounded truly bewildered. He put his foot down on the dirt. There were normally no survivors on his missions, this one being no exception.

“She’s pregnant,” Ben stated without emotion. 

Ren moved towards Ben, intending to intimidate him. “I know you’re just figuring things out, but pregnant or not, there should be no empathy.” 

Sofie could see a pissed off expression appearing on Ben’s face. Ben did  _ not  _ like having his authority questioned. 

“I’m pregnant with  _ his _ child, dipshit,” Sofie spoke up to Ren. 

Sofie and Ben saw the annoyance creeping up on Ren. Both of them were vying for a higher rank. 

“Don’t forget Solo, I’m the one in charge.” Ren stood inches from Ben.

“ _ Get rid of him.”  _ An unknown voice echoed in Ben’s mind. “ _ Who is he to question you? You can just get rid of him. _ ” 

Sofie nearly missed the small details that led up to their fight. She was impressed by Ren’s swift reaction towards Ben reaching for his lightsaber. They took turns lunging at each other similar to how Ben and Sofie went back and forth. 

Sofie gasped when she saw Ren slip and miss a subtle swipe from Ben. Ren stumbled backward and Ben finished him off. Sofie watched Ren fall lifelessly to the ground.

“Just so we’re clear, that guy was a jerk, but I still don’t approve of your murder,” Sofie told Ben. She couldn’t see it but Sofie could feel Ben’s internal eye roll.

Ben quickly got into a defensive stance when noises in the mine came closer. 

It was Voe trying to fend off the rest of the Knights. Ben Force Force grabbed her as soon as he saw her. Sofie assumed the worst had happened to Tai. 

“Voe!” Sofie cried out. 

But it was too late, it only took microseconds for Ben to send his lightsaber right through her abdomen. 

Sofie was sure she felt her heart stop. 

“VOE!” She shrieked. Voe's Body fell to the ground. The Knights looked at Ren’s lifeless body as well and kneeled towards Ben. 

Sofie’s shock turned into sadness as she sobbed lightly. They had failed to help Ben and also each other. Could she even forgive Ben at this point? 

The Knights finished the fanfare and Ben picked up Sofie. She contemplated throwing a fit but knew she didn’t have the energy after seeing Voe die in front of her. They went back to the ship and began the ride back to Snoke. 

Ben dropped her in a special compartment that would ensure she couldn’t leave. He freed her legs and then began to exit. 

“Ben-“ Sofie started. Ben stopped but didn’t look at her. “Do you even care that I’m pregnant?” 

She felt Ben’s mixed emotions. He said nothing for a moment. 

“The old Ben does, but I know now that I can’t,” Ben answered. He turned to Sofie. “But there is another way.” Ben turned towards her, Sofie looked at him curiously. 

“Join me, Sofie.” Ben stepped towards her. “I’ve seen what you can do. I know how strong you are. We can’t live your idealistic life, but we can live a life of power.” Sofie frowned.

“What’s so idealistic about what I want?” Sofie questioned. 

“It involves untrustworthy people. It assumes that I don’t have a responsibility towards finishing what Darth Vader started.” Ben said. “It’s unrealistic.” 

Sofie sighed. She couldn’t reason with Ben. She just shook her head at him. 

“I can’t, Ben. I’m a Jedi and I always will be.” She told him. 

“I know,” he replied back. “But keep your life in mind and choose your decision wisely.” Sofie glared at Ben. He left. 

The ship landed on the planet Snoke was hiding on. The Knights and Ben unboarded the ship. 

Sofie walked in with Ben and the rest of his followers to see Snoke. Upon seeing him,  Ben and the Knights kneeled in front of Snoke. 

“Very impressive, Young Solo. You have proven yourself well.” Snoke bellowed. “I bestow upon you a new title: Master.” 

Ben stood up and faced Snoke.

“We forget the weak and powerless Ben Solo and bring a new, powerful Master,” Snoke said. “What will you call this new Master?”

“Kylo Ren.” Ben, or the new Kylo Ren, spoke commandingly. Sofie sadly watched the ceremony and felt like Ben’s name was the last piece he held of himself. Now it had been thrown away. 

Snoke directed his attention towards Sofie. “So this is the woman carrying your child, Kylo Ren? From the Jedi Academy?” Ben nodded.

“Great,” Snoke looked at Sofie closely. “The child will make a worthy successor with training. They will one day take your place.” 

Sofie put her head down, trying to remove herself as much as possible.

Snoke instructed his guards to make sure that Sofie stayed healthy and safe so she could have the child.

Sofie wanted to kick and scream. She felt like a pawn in a sick game. She contemplated ending herself and the child if it made it harder for Snoke and Ben. 

Sofie was taken to her new living areas on the planet, a jail cell. All she could do was lay down and think of how she could possibly get out of this place alive. 

* * *

The days went by excruciatingly slowly for Sofie while she was in captivity. She could only think for so long and talking with the guard that checked on her occasionally was getting old. 

Thankfully, fate decided to give her some entertainment. 

Sofie finished eating her lunch one day and was surprised to see Ben standing at the door to her cell. Admittedly, she was a little excited to see him. 

“Hi,” she said to him as he entered. “Can I help you…?” Sofie asked somewhat jokingly. 

“I’ve been training,” Ben started, “And I need your help with something.” Sofie gave him a suspicious eye. What could he possibly need her help for? She shuddered slightly as he stepped towards her and held his palm towards her. His appearance was so sudden and out-of-the-blue.

Sofie felt a sudden pounding in her head, She held her head as the pain increased. 

_ He’s trying to read me, _ Sofie thought to herself,  _ What could he possibly want? _

Sofie stared intensely back at Ben, resisting his attempt. 

Hurting Ben was the last thing she wanted to do, but while in captivity, Sofie decided that she had to overcome her desire to help him. Ben saw her as an enemy now, and she needed to act like she was one. 

Mustering the will to save herself, Sofie fought back against Ben’s mind probe, and instead, attempted to probe his mind. 

She was successful, but abruptly stopped when she found something that shook her. They shared a knowing glance. 

“Ben, you’re so afraid.” She said to him.

He drew his saber, Sofie stood up abruptly. 

“Call me Ben again and I’ll convince Snoke to let me kill you!” He shouted. 

“That’s your  _ name _ !” Sofie yelled back. 

Ben swiftly sliced the chair and table in the room as Sofie stood a couple of feet away. Sofie gasped at the sight of his new lightsaber. It was an intense red and crackled unnaturally. 

He destroyed every piece of furniture in sight. Sofie backed herself into the corner of the room, afraid and waiting for his fit of rage to finish. 

She refused to look at Ben even after he put away his lightsaber. He left without another word.

Sofie looked around the room. There had been a bed, table and a chair, and even a ceramic toilet, but they were now damaged. 

Despite his act, Sofie knew that he still had a piece of Ben Solo inside himself. In fact, he maybe had too much for his own liking.

* * *

After Ben’s fit, Sofie decided that she had had enough. She pondered how she could escape and decided that she needed to use the fact that she was a pregnant woman ordered to be healthy by Snoke to her advantage.

She took a deep breath, ready to put on her best act. 

“Hey! Over here! Please!” She yelled down the hall towards the stormtrooper assigned to guard the cells. They looked towards her but stayed still. 

“Please! I’m pregnant but I think something’s wrong!” She tried again and wailed out in pain this time to get her point across.

The stormtrooper finally walked over to her, confused by the state of her cell. 

“What happened to your cell, prisoner?” The stormtrooper asked her. 

Sofie realized that the state of her cell might have been odd.

“I was just trying to distract myself from the pain, I feel like I’m going to pass out,” Sofie said, holding her stomach in pain and tears forming in her eyes. 

She could sense the stormtrooper’s conflict. 

“Okay, I’ll take you to the medic, but no funny business,” he told her. She was handcuffed and they made their way to medical. Sofie made sure to cause a scene while on the way there with her voice. 

The medical room on the ship was decently sized but completely empty. A man wearing a lab coat rushed over from a small room when Sofie and the stormtrooper entered. 

“What’s this?” The man asked. 

“Doctor Gord, she’s pregnant with Kylo Ren’s child and is under orders to be kept alive from Supreme Leader Snoke.” The stormtrooper explained. Sofie wailed and hunched over in fake pain. 

“Please help me, I’m in so much pain, I think something’s wrong,” Sofie said. Dr. Gord nervously looked at both of them. The medical droids they had were usually for soldiers returning from battle and he was unsure of their ability to treat conditions related to pregnancy. 

“Uh… ok. Well…” He looked around nervously. “I guess we can run a urine sample, maybe we should start there.” He handed the stormtrooper a container, unsure of any other diagnostic tools they had.

Sofie resisted laughing as she watched Dr. Gord hand over a container. No wonder they usually used droids. 

“Use that in the bathroom and I’ll be back with a medical droid.” Doctor Gord said, pointing towards an inconspicuous bathroom and disappearing into another room. 

The stormtrooper walked Sofie over to the bathroom and undid her restraints. 

“Remember, no funny business.” The stormtrooper said again, but he wasn’t particularly afraid of Sofie after seeing how she even struggled to walk. 

Sofie took the container and weakly opened the door to the bathroom. “There’s definitely no funny business happening with me like  _ this _ .” 

Sofie entered the bathroom and felt a wave of relief flowing through her. Her plan was in the works, and with a bit of luck, it could be carried through. The bathroom was surprisingly big and had a toilet, sink and full tub. She assumed it doubled as a general bathroom for the staff and patients. 

Sofie touched the walls and thought as she looked around the bathroom. 

Then, she looked up, her eyes widening in surprise. The room had a vent. 

She stood on the toilet and pulled the cover off. The vent was high, and she almost had to stand on her toes to reach it. She shuddered slightly while looking at the size of the vent and imagining how claustrophobic it could be.

Sofie took a deep breath and tried to jump while pulling herself up. Her hand slipped slightly on the metal and she fell back towards the toilet. She landed partially on her feet but made a loud bang as she hit the ground.

Her heart dropped and she looked towards the door. The handle jiggled slightly but she had locked it. 

“What’s going on in there?” The stormtrooper said through the door. 

Sofie’s breath caught in her throat. “N-nothing! Just pregnant lady things! I’m on the toilet so don’t barge in!” 

Nothing happened after that, and Sofie released a sigh of relief. She looked at her hand and carefully touched the light cut she had caused. It looked like it was on the verge of bleeding. 

She got up on the toilet again and thought through her plan a bit more carefully this time. She jumped again, but this time made it a Force jump. Sofie carefully lifted herself up into the vent and shimmied the rest of the way through. 

She stopped for a moment just to appreciate that she had made it, then she quickly started to creep through the vent. 

Sofie tried to move quietly, but the vent seemed to echo and clang with every move she made. She bit her lip and listened for any sign that she might have been heard. 

Nothing.

She crept as quickly as she could, not caring about the noise and just wanting to get  _ somewhere _ . 

Then, she finally saw her first potential exit. She looked out the slats of the vent and saw a large room. It had a large cargo ship and many boxes surrounding it. She observed some stormtroopers in the area but noted that they seemed fairly occupied with their current task of unloading the cargo ship. 

Sofie looked straight down and gulped. It wasn’t a small drop, in fact, it was about a 50-foot drop straight down. She could probably land lightly if she did it properly, but that was assuming they didn’t see her on the way down. 

Suddenly, their leader called them all over to talk to them. The stormtroopers who were guarding and helping with the cargo ship huddled together with their leader. 

Sofie guessed that they were being informed about her disappearance, but she spared no time with her chance. 

She removed the cover of the vent carefully so as not to drop it and she placed it inside the vent with her. 

Sofie looked down one last time, reminding herself that she had done similar things while training, just not as extreme. 

Without another thought, she slipped carefully out of the vent exit. She concentrated on feeling light and tried to ignore the height. 

Sofie landed with a slight  _ plop _ but accidentally rolled her foot. She fell to the ground and looked towards the group of stormtroopers. 

Ignoring the pain in her foot she dragged herself in between the large cargo boxes towering about 7 feet high. She winced and held her foot in pain. 

_ Fuck _ , she thought,  _ fuck, fuck, fuck, they’re going to find me.  _

Not knowing what else to do, she opened the door to one of the giant cargo boxes and carefully stepped inside. It was dark even with the door open, but the light disappeared completely when she closed the door behind her. She couldn’t tell what was in the box with her but knew that it was strangely shaped, allowing her to move between the pieces. 

She adjusted herself carefully and found somewhere that seemed hidden but also comfortable. 

Sofie didn’t think she could run or attempt any other risky maneuvers with her foot, so she had no choice but to stay and wait. She was comforted by the assumption that if she was caught, they would let her live. 

Sofie heard noises around the box, but they were short-lived and occasional. 

At one point a stormtrooper opened the door to the cargo box, they shone a few lights lazily but moved on quickly. 

_ They underestimate my maneuvering, I guess. _ Sofie thought. 

It felt like she had spent hours in the box, and Sofie was beginning to go crazy from the lack of light. It didn’t feel like her eyes were working right. 

She decided to close her eyes, hoping she could sleep while waiting for things to calm down. 

_ “Where are you?” _ She opened her eyes to darkness again upon hearing a voice in her head. She looked around only to see nothing. 

She swore it was Ben. 

“You’re just imagining things, Sofie, calm down…” She said to herself, trying to get comfortable again.

“ _ Sofie? _ ” She heard it again. 

It couldn’t be a coincidence now. 

Sofie froze in fear, unsure if she was imagining things or if she had actually been found. 

“Ben?” She whispered.

“ _ I-I don’t know what this is, but if you can hear me, tell us where you are,”  _ Ben said. Sofie rolled her eyes.

“I’m not telling you anything. I’ve escaped and there’s no point in looking for me.” Sofie said out loud, she could feel Ben’s frustration. 

The voice stopped and Sofie settled in again, unsure of what their conversation was. 

She fell asleep finally and let the hours drag on.

* * *

Sofie was certain it had been at least 24 hours since they had begun looking for her. 

Admittedly, she had been in the box so long she was considering leaving just for some air. 

Thankfully, this desire was cut short as she felt the box move. It was being put on a ship. She must have been missing for so long they decided that it wasn’t worth waiting for her to make a move. 

She waited patiently to see where they might take her, prepared to make her escape. 

She felt the ship land and listened for activity. They moved the box somewhere off the ship. 

Sofie listened intently for voices, and once she decided that it had been long enough, she opened the door carefully.

She looked out of the box but closed her eyes quickly. The light was painful. 

Her eyes adjusted and she finally stepped completely out of the wretched cargo box. She looked around, captivated and intrigued, she wondered where they could have taken her. They ended up dropping the boxes inside a giant warehouse-looking building. 

She looked around and determined that the boxes held equipment for battle. They had even put some fighter ships in the building.

“Are they preparing for something big?” She said to herself quietly. 

Sofie had a terrible feeling in her gut. She needed to tell somebody, to warn them. 

Ben was gone, and it was Kylo Ren on the loose now. 


	6. Chapter 6

There wasn't anyone watching the inside of the warehouse that Sofie was left in, so she had time to climb into a TIE fighter and figure out how to use it.

It took some trial and error, but she finally started the ship up and prepared for take-off.

Sofie realized that there was no clear exit, but then looked straight up. Maybe a messy exit was her best bet.

She guided the fighter straight up and hit the roof with a loud _bang._ The fighter accelerated, and to her relief, it broke through the roof. It was dark outside so Sofie couldn't see much, but there were faint lights to indicate that the warehouse was there.

She didn't give it much thought and just focused on getting out. She wobbled a bit to get used to the ship but managed to gain control enough to leave.

Sofie's next step was to figure out where she was going. While having time to think in the box, she had decided her next step: find Leia and Han.

She hoped that Leia would recognize her, she had also spoken to Han before, but less than Leia during their visits to the Jedi Academy.

Sofie didn't want to guilt them into taking her in just because she was pregnant with their grandchild, but she also hoped she could offer something to them.

If what Sofie saw in the warehouse was any indication- an aggressive entity was forming, and not in their interests.

Sofie made sure nobody was following her first, she looked at the radar and saw nothing. She was surprised that there was minimal security at the warehouse- perhaps an indicator of how hidden the threat was.

She began to fly towards a nearby planet on her map, she recognized the name, Agaris, but she had never been there. She assumed it was big enough to have a cantina, and that's all that she needed.

Sofie gradually lowered the fighter onto the planet's docks. She was relieved to spot what appeared to be a cantina attached to the docks.

She exited the fighter and patted it gently. She was grateful for its service but also knew she probably would never see it again.

The cantina was bustling with activity and Sofie could barely make her way through the crowd filled with plenty of interesting characters.

She wasn't sure where to start but decided to try her luck with a group of people she saw sitting. She opened by asking them if any of them were looking to trade. They shook their heads at her.

Instead, she decided to approach a lone woman enjoying a drink towards the back of the cantina. She recognized the symbol on her jacket as associated with the New Republic. Sofie gingerly stepped towards her and waved, the woman eyed her suspiciously.

"Can I help you?" She asked Sofie.

"I'm sorry to bother you, but I noticed your jacket and was wondering if you could help me get in contact with the leadership of the New Republic? I'm trying to get in touch with Leia Organa." Sofie inquired.

The woman kept her suspicious look. "And what business do you have with her?" She asked.

"I have valuable intel to give her that might signify a threat from the Galactic Empire," Sofie replied. The woman raised an eyebrow at Sofie.

"You do know the Empire surrendered, correct?" The woman asked her. She wasn't sure who Sofie was and had no reason to trust her, but she also knew that Leia would want _any_ intel related to the possibility of the Galactic Empire's reemergence.

She motioned Sofie to sit across from her at her table. Sofie sat and the woman put her hand out for Sofie to shake.

"I'm Macella Finold, a pilot for the New Republic." Sofie shook her hand.

"Sofie Hulrose."

Macella asked Sofie about what she knew after their introductions. Sofie explained her training as a Jedi under Luke Skywalker and her relationship with Ben Solo. She explained her encounter with the Knights of Ren and finally the formation of Kylo Ren that she had seen with Snoke. She decided to omit the fact she was pregnant for the time-being.

"I hid in a cargo box for hours to get away," Sofie started. "They eventually took the box to a huge warehouse with tons of equipment and fighter jets. There was nobody even watching it, it was just there."

Macella rationalized out loud, "Could it have just been normal equipment? What makes you think they're going to use it inappropriately?"

Sofie bit her lip, it was difficult to explain the extent of the darkness in Ben. "Kylo Ren, he suggested we join forces to live a life of power."

Macella weighed her options and decided that Sofie wasn't a threat. "I'll take you to Leia, but on one condition," Sofie looked at her curiously.

"Please, don't tell Leia we met _here_ of all places."

Macella suggested to Sofie that she should abandon the ship she had stolen for now, and instead ride in her A-Wing to see Leia.

While in the ship, Macella tried to gauge how much Sofie knew of current events.

"I'm sure you've heard about Leia's true parentage recently?" Macella asked Sofie. She nodded. "Then I assume you also know that she withdrew her nomination to become a First Senator?" Sofie raised her eyebrows in surprise.

"I did not," Sofie said. Her heart ached for Leia, she must have received extreme backlash when her true parentage was revealed.

"She's taking a break from her regular duties now, and she's started to dedicate her time to exactly what you mentioned: squashing any remnants of the Galactic Empire."

Macella approached D'Qar and began to land on the base.

The ship was immediately surrounded by greenery and a building sat in the distance.

Macella led Sofie inside to the operations room. It was fairly empty except for a couple of people and Leia herself.

"Hello!" Macella called out as they entered the base. Sofie looked at the various equipment that was scattered around the room and then saw Leia and the others huddled near the middle of the room. They all turned towards Macella and Sofie.

"Macella!" Leia called back to her, "It's good to see you." She walked towards Macella and Sofie. "Have you brought a visitor?" Leia inquired.

Sofie stepped towards Leia, her heart beating nervously. She wasn't sure why she was anxious to see Leia. They had met many times before, and she knew they were friendly. Maybe it was in anticipation of what she was going to tell her.

"Leia-" Sofie started. Leia looked at her inquisitively. "Have we met before?" Leia said abruptly.

Sofie nodded, "Yes, yes! On Luke's Jedi Academy." Leia's face lit up.

"Sofie, was it?" Sofie nodded excitedly. She felt a weight lift off her shoulders, but it was quickly replaced by a new weight. Macella also felt relief knowing she didn't bring the wrong person to the base. Leia's face was still lit up, but it suddenly turned soft.

"I think I already know what you've come to tell me." She started.

Before Sofie could tell her more, Leia instructed Macella to give her updates to the others and had Sofie follow her to a small kitchenette on the base. She gave her a bit of something to eat and drink, and they sat down together at the table.

"I sensed it," Leia started. "Ben's fall to the dark." She looked at Sofie with immense sadness in her eyes.

Sofie looked back at her, sharing her same grief. "The whole academy went up in flames," she explained. "Luke had sent me off the planet, but I came back because I sensed something too. But by the time I had arrived, it was too late. Ben was gone, and Luke was leaving. He said he was too ashamed of what he had done." Sofie sighed. "I tried to ask him where he was going in his ship, but he just told me that I should know since I'm his student." Sofie slightly laughed.

Leia smiled faintly. Sofie continued her story. "I went back to my home planet Nexa, but then had help tracking down Ben. I actually found two other students from the academy, but-" Sofie felt tears forming in her eyes. She felt guilty, like she had a responsibility to help Tai and Voe, but had failed them.

She took a deep breath, "They were killed by Ben and the Knights of Ren, and they took me." Leia seemed slightly intrigued at her statement.

"They took you but killed the others? Why?" Leia asked her. Sofie felt her mouth go dry, her news should have been exciting to share, but she was nervous.

"Well, I'm not sure if you ever knew, but Ben and I _might_ have had a romantic relationship at the Jedi Academy…" Sofie could feel her face warming up. Leia gave her a 'look'.

"Either way, I took a test, and it said I'm pregnant." Leia looked at Sofie, mouth slightly agape. She laughed slightly.

"You're pregnant? With Ben's child?" She asked Sofie in disbelief. Sofie nodded, smiling. It seemed like it was a pleasant surprise to Leia.

"With _my_ grandchild?" Leia continued. All Sofie could do was smile and nod.

"To tell you the truth, I did sense something between you and Ben at the Jedi Academy," Leia said. "But I always felt like Ben was lacking the guts." Sofie laughed, enjoying hearing about Ben from his own mother.

"I think he has charm from his father, but he was always so serious." Leia laughed at her own reflections.

"Also," Sofie started, her face turning more serious again. "I needed to tell you that I escaped from the planet where they were keeping me. I hid in a cargo box, I had to wait a long time but they dropped me off in a suspiciously-stocked warehouse." Leia listened intently.

"I think whatever they're planning to do with Ben and all of that equipment, it's not good. They had so many ships, Leia, and so much ammo. And I think where I was, it was only a small piece. They dumped it and left it. I escaped extremely easily and abandoned their ship when Macella helped me."

Sofie could tell that Leia was deep in thought.

"Do you think that Ben still has _any_ light inside him?" She asked Sofie. Sofie bit her lip.

There were times when she was sure that any light inside Ben had ceased, like when she watched him kill Voe and Ren, and when he had threatened her life for calling him Ben instead of Kylo Ren.

But also, something inside her, and she couldn't quite place what it was, told her to keep hope.

"I do think he can be redeemed. He's done some things- and I'm sure he'll do more things that make him _seem_ completely lost, but I can feel it, he still has a light inside him." Sofie told Leia.

Sofie watched Leia's eyes tear up and a warm smile appears on her lips.

"I feel it, too." She said to Sofie.

They shared a hug, and Leia looked at Sofie with an emotion that she couldn't quite place.

"Feel free to stay here for the time being. We will need to warn others quickly of the threat, but don't do anything too physical while you're pregnant." Leia told Sofie.

Sofie thought that they might actually have a chance at helping Ben, and in turn, the whole galaxy.

* * *

Sofie and Leia spent the next months making their case to the New Republic while simultaneously developing the Resistance.

Their fears finally gained a name as well: The First Order. Leia was skeptical of the Centrists that either supported the movement or did not care enough about their potential.

Sofie became more obviously pregnant as the months went on as well. In the first few months, she tried to continue her Jedi training, but it eventually became cumbersome to move around.

She couldn't move around easily but found that she could still train in the Force. While meditating she could feel some sort of light in her child, one that was different from her normal connection to the Force.

Then finally, the day came. Sofie was in her ninth month and while at the base on D'Qar and was woken up in the middle of the night from contractions.

Sofie tried her best to stay calm, but couldn't help panicking. She made her way to Doctor Kalonia as quickly as she could.

Doctor Kalonia had Sofie lay down in one of the operating-type rooms. Sofie sat on the bed as Doctor Kalonia reassured her that everything was going to be okay.

Doctor Kalonia started up a droid to help her with the process and got Sofie comfortable.

"I'll let General Leia know that it's finally happening!" Doctor Kalonia said and then disappeared.

Sofie laid back and tried to relax, focusing on getting through her contractions one at a time. She took slow, deep breaths and closed her eyes.

_I wish Ben, at least, the Ben Solo I remember could be here,_ Sofie thought. It was slightly bitter because Ben was obviously unavailable, but Leia had also explained that Han continued his smuggling operations with Chewie. She wasn't sure where they were. It was just going to be her, Leia, and Doctor Kalonia. Maybe Macella- if she had any interest at all.

_It's happening again._ Ben's voice echoed inside Sofie's mind, just like it did when she was in the cargo box.

"Ben?" Sofie asked out loud, startled. "What is this?"

_I think it's the Force,_ Ben stated. _It's like when I tried to probe your mind._

"Are you probing my mind now?" Sofie said to Ben.

_What? I heard your voice first,_ Ben huffed.

Sofie wondered if her longing for him to be here might have accidentally been transmitted.

_Where are you?_ Ben asked her. He tried to push aside his feelings and remind himself that tactically, she would be extremely useful and Snoke wanted the child.

Sofie frowned, "Why would I ever tell you that? I know what you want me for."

_We want the child, but if you cooperated with us, you'd be a powerful ally._ Ben proposed.

"Fuck you, you threatened my life." Sofie cursed.

_Just consider it._ Ben urged her. Sofie decided to end the conversation there.

_Great,_ She thought. _Now I'm in a terrible mood to give birth._

Sofie was immediately distracted by an enthusiastic Leia as she walked into the room. Her mood was lifted up when seeing how excited Leia was for her.

"It's finally time, then?" Leia said happily, coming to her side. She held Sofie's hand tightly. "I believe in you." Sofie smiled at her.

Sofie thought about her family often, and what they might say if they saw her now. Maybe she could have shared this moment with her mother, or have seen her sisters as aunts. The thought hurt her heart, but she was grateful to have Leia by her side.

Sofie's labor progressed and became more intense as time went on. The pain was overwhelming but finally came to an end after 12 hours of labor that had begun in the evening.

Finally, after her 12 hours of hard work, Sofie was rewarded with a baby girl. Leia was overjoyed upon seeing her granddaughter, and Doctor Kalonia shared their moment of pride.

Sofie happily watched them fawn over her. She was exhausted, but also too impressed with what she had done to sleep.

"Is it bad I can see Ben in her already?" Leia remarked to Sofie and Kalonia, a hint of sadness in her voice despite her happiness. "Sofie, did you think of a name?"

Sofie nodded. "I did. I think I knew when I was pregnant, actually." While training as a Jedi, Sofie loved to read about Jedi history. She found it inspiring, hearing about their accomplishments and experiences. She was fairly certain they were real people at some point but also had a suspicion that others were myths or folklore, due to how old the texts were.

"Ailana. She was a Jedi I read about a lot, her adventures were always so interesting. Her name means 'light-bearer'." Sofie stated,

"Ailana Solo," Sofie said it out loud, trying out the sound. She thought it fit well.

Maybe, just maybe, she could be a light-bearer for Ben.


	7. Chapter 7

Time was an unstoppable force for Sofie. As time marched on, the threat of the First Order increased and her concern for Lana did as well.

Sofie and Leia faced endless frustration trying to convince the New Republic that the First Order was dangerous. Every misstep from them was swept under the rug in the name of peace.

The base on D'Qar was secure and almost completely hidden from plain view, but Sofie still had nightmares about Lana. It felt like the First Order could take her away at any moment. She wanted to focus on training herself and Lana more, but experienced extreme anxiety when separated from Lana.

Leia tried to help Sofie by watching her occasionally, but Sofie knew that this was difficult for her to do in addition to her General duties.

It was easy to keep Lana ins ight when she was crawling, but once she could fully walk, it was a struggle to keep an eye on her.

At three-years-old, Lana could walk, and she could walk _far_ if you didn't watch her _._

Sofie asked Leia one day if she or any other of the fighters had time to watch Lana so that she could finally create another lightsaber for herself. The previous one that she had made while at the Jedi Academy was confiscated by Kylo Ren while she was captive.

She always felt guilty asking others to help her but reassured herself that she would make it up to them by raising Lana to also fight for the Resistance.

Once Leia found a bit of downtime she agreed to watch Lana. Sofie was ecstatic at the thought of finally having another personal lightsaber. Leia let her borrow her personal ship for her errand to the outposts.

Everything was set and before Sofie set off, she said goodbye to Leia and Lana.

"You're going to be good for Nana while I'm gone, right Lana?" Sofie said to Lana, giving her a hug and kiss before leaving. Lana was teary-eyed and hated goodbyes, like any other toddler.

"Don't worry!" Sofie wiped Lana's tears from her face. "I'll be back soon, and once you see what I got, you'll be so excited!"

The tears on Lana's face were replaced by new ones as Sofie entered the ship, they waved goodbye from afar.

Once Lana was out of sight, Sofie was relieved to have the opportunity to also let tears on _her_ face form. She wanted to be a proper role-model for Lana, but didn't want to show her how much leaving her, even for a half-day, caused her immense anxiety.

Sofie had been putting off her errand for too long, three years of borrowing lightsabers or using other devices left an itch to have your own.

The ship lifted up from D'Qar slowly and Sofie was finally off. Her plan was to visit the Black Spire Outpost on Batuu, Leia assured her it was a good spot because they currently had a Resistance base set up, and she had seen Kyber crystals for sale in the outpost.

This made Sofie calmer, if something happened on D'Qar, she could easily run to the base, but she still had time to take her time and shop.

Sofie landed at the docking bay and wasted no time getting out and finding the outpost. Once she could see the planet, she was shocked by how much greenery covered the actual outpost itself.

The shops were laid close together, giving the area a cozy feeling. It felt like Sofie could walk forever among the various merchants inside and outside.

Admittedly, she found herself getting distracted by all the goods they were offering, and couldn't resist looking at some of the clothes being sold. Sofie had a few outfits left from the Jedi Academy, but she mainly used Leia and the other fighter's graciousness to let her borrow clothes while at the Resistance base.

Sofie picked up a slightly flowy tunic that she was drawn to. Before she knew it, she had picked out some snug pants and new boots to complement it. She paid with her new political figure slash Jedi assistant salary and happily walked away with a new set of clothing. It was a silly, but small joy to have another outfit of her own.

Satisfied with her purchase, Sofie shifted her attention to Kyber crystals, hilt pieces, and internal lightsaber pieces.

It took darting around to numerous places, but Sofie finally gathered a pool of parts needed to construct the lightsaber. She was relieved that she found one merchant with Kyber crystals not previously bonded with anybody else.

With all of her pieces and new clothing in her backpack, Sofie walked out of the main outpost area to a secluded area hidden by the lush trees that grew on the planet. She laid her pieces out and began to construct the hilt and interior first with tools she had checked out from a merchant.

She finished the entire hilt and was satisfied with her work. The metals she had chosen were duller, and she had made sure that the design she had constructed had room for a sappy idea she had gotten.

Sofie rummaged in her backpack for an item she had held onto for too long. It was the compass pendant that Ben had given her after the mission to Nexa. She removed the chain from the pendant and placed the compass pendant on the very bottom of the hilt. The overall design was simple but became complex towards the compass focal point.

Once Sofie was satisfied with the hilt, she pulled out the Kyber crystal and prepared to bond with it. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, holding it tightly in her palm.

Sofie thought back to when she had trained at the academy and bonded with her first Kyber crystal. She was initially scared to do it due to all of the rumors that were floating around. Other students had warned her that they were almost living beings, and would not hesitate to defend itself if it didn't like you.

Sofie eventually convinced herself to bond with the crystal once she realized how much she wanted her own lightsaber.

After meditating with the crystal then, it had produced a lighter blue color. Almost all of the students at the Jedi Academy had produced a blue lightsaber.

Focusing back to the present, Sofie tried to forget that experience and make a new one with the crystal she had just bought.

She focused strongly on the crystal itself while pulling the Force in. She thought of what she was passionate about, what it truly meant for her to 'do good', and also directed a bit of her bitterness towards Ben into the crystal.

When she opened her eyes, she was unsure of how many minutes had passed, but she opened her palm and saw a green crystal emerge.

"Huh," Sofie said out loud. "It's so different from last time."

She tried to not think about the color change and placed it inside the hilt.

Pressing the button, she activated the lightsaber, admiring the new green plasma that glowed in front of her face.

Sofie stood up and looked around, trying to make sure nobody else was in the area. She practiced using her new lightsaber alone.

Her technique was far from perfect, but she tried to find the muscle memory she had developed previously. _Just need to dust off my skills a bit_ , Sofie said in her head.

Once she felt like she had found some of the muscle memory she held the lightsaber tightly in one hand and deactivated it for safety.

She laughed slightly at her idea but decided to try. She took a deep breath, lifted her arms up, and then jumped into a back handspring.

She successfully flipped backward onto her hands but fell over when trying to stand back up. She rubbed her back in slight pain, a bit embarrassed that she couldn't do her move as easily as before.

"A bit out of practice?" Sofie heard a mechanical voice behind her while she was on the ground. She activated her lightsaber immediately, stood up, and turned around. She blinked once, and the environment around her turned to nothingness with darkness.

She was bewildered by the sight. A figure in all black wearing a helmet stood about 10 feet in front of her. Sofie rubbed her eyes, trying to make sure she wasn't seeing things.

The figure took off its mask and Sofie didn't know if she should be more relieved or scared. Either way, she finally got to see Kylo Ren himself in costume, in Supreme Leader fashion.

Sofie had not engaged in any telepathy with him since she had given birth, and even then, it had been in her head and not manifested in the real world. She figured that her connection with the Kyber crystal had triggered something.

"I was surprised to be called by you, especially while the First Order is carrying out such an important task." Kylo Ren bellowed towards her.

"What?" Sofie barked. "Explain yourself, what important task?"

"Don't worry, the task is already finished," Kylo said to her calmly, too calmly. "Let's just say that I've reclaimed what's rightfully ours. But don't worry, we'll treat her well."

A haunting realization came over Sofie. If you had asked her to describe her abilities in emotional control, she would describe her abilities in high regard.

But at this moment, she was ready to throw that all out.

"You didn't…" Sofie said under her breath quietly. She ran towards him and attempted to land a hit with her lightsaber, but landed on the ground as she only went straight through where he should have been.

"You _coward!_ " Sofie screamed at him from the ground. "She's just a _CHILD_!" She wiped a few stray tears from her face and stood up. Kylo turned to face her. She couldn't read any emotion on his face. He didn't care.

Sofie walked right up to him, inches away from his non-physical face. She pointed her lightsaber at him threateningly. Despite not being physical, his face lit up with a green glow.

"Mark my words, Ben. I'm going to find you _and_ Lana, and you better not involve any of your pathetic minions so that I can settle this between you and I. You'll have to step up and fight me yourself." Finally, Sofie saw some emotion on Ben's face. It was anger and annoyance.

"And stop referring to her as belonging to the First Order _and_ you. She's _OUR_ fucking child, Ben! Nobody else's!" Sofie spat. She wanted nothing more at the moment than for him to actually be in front of her.

Before she could say anything else, she saw a red lightsaber whirr in front of her. She closed her eyes in anticipation, but nothing happened. When she opened her eyes again, she was in the familiar forest outside of the outpost.

Sofie wasted no time picking up her things and sprinting as quickly as possible to Leia's borrowed ship. She started up the ship quickly and also attempted to send out a call to Leia.

She crossed her fingers in anticipation but felt a bad feeling in her gut when the hologram of a pilot she barely recognized appeared.

"Is General Organa there? It's urgent." Sofie said.

"Miss Sofie, the General just responded to an emergency call from one of our allies. She went there as quickly as she could but has been uncommunicative since she went to speak with them. I think it is an extremely important meeting." The pilot told her. Sofie sighed in desperation.

"That's all you know? Where did she go?" Sofie asked.

The pilot explained in further detail that she had gone to Hosnian Prime to visit Senator Allesk, who Leia and Sofie considered to be an ally. She had been willing to help them try and get funding to help the Resistance, whose resources were minimal. She had been successful as well, so Leia and Sofie had a deep respect for her.

"Please," Sofie pleaded with the pilot, "I think something bad has happened, so please go and check on her." The pilot agreed to try and help. She also sent the ship's coordinates to Sofie so she could easily find them.

Sofie burned more fuel than she should have to get to Hosnian Prime, but that allowed her to get there quickly.

She landed in front of a building where Senator Allesk and some other Senators worked, a Resistance ship was also in front of the building.

Sofie frantically ran to the 7th floor, she relied on her memory to remind her where Senator Allesk's office was.

She got to the 7th floor and frantically knocked on the door to the office. It opened a crack to a man that eyed her suspiciously.

"Can I help you?" The man she recognized as the Senator's assistant asked Sofie. Sofie was out of breath from running.

"Leia… she's here?" Sofie managed to get out some words. She attempted to push the door open. The man relented.

"Sofie Hulrose, correct?" He asked her. "I understand that you might be a bit antsy but Senator Allesk and General Organa are having an extremely important conversation, it involves a life-or-death situation."

"Okay, look. I don't want to explain the whole situation, but Leia was watching my daughter, and I have reason to believe that she was taken by the First Order." Sofie explained, trying to not let the frustration come through her voice.

"I think you're mistaken." The man explained to her, unrelenting. Sofie noted the beads of sweat forming on his forehead.

A growing pit was in her stomach, she didn't want to forcefully make her way into the office, they were allies and had the upper-hand when it came to resources for the Resistance. If she made a mistake, they could easily pull their help. She also wondered where the pilot had gone for the ship piloting Leia, weren't they heading up to the office? What was going on?

Her head filled with numerous confusing thoughts, but Sofie tried to push them aside. She had to trust something right now.

A spark ignited inside her, telling her what to do. She wasn't sure if it was her gut or something greater like the Force, but she needed to trust something _._

Sofie gulped and pulled out her lightsaber. The man looked at her in shock.

"Is that a threat?" He asked. Sofie activated her saber.

"It is now. Let. Me. In." Sofie said assertively through her teeth.

The door swung open fully and the man went out of sight. Two stormtroopers appeared in front of Sofie.

They pointed their blasters at her and she jumped out of sight immediately. She hid right next to the door frame. _Dear god,_ Sofie thought, _it's been a while since I've fought people who actually want to kill me._

Sofie waited and the first stormtrooper started to carefully exit the room, blaster pointed. She held her foot out at the last second, causing the first one to fall to the ground. She inflicted a non-fatal wound and then stepped in front of the doorway in front of the second stormtrooper. They shot at her immediately, she deflected the shots and got close enough to wound the second one. She confiscated their weapons for safety.

Sofie eyed the man now in the corner. "I remember your name now, Daken, correct?" Daken nodded. "Where are they?" Sofie demanded. He pointed to the door leading to the main office.

Sofie put away her lightsaber and swung the door open. She was greeted by the petrified faces of Leia and Senator Allesk. From what Sofie could tell of the scene, Senator Allesk was trying to block Leia from going into the other room.

" _Sofie!_ " Leia exclaimed. "Is Lana alright? What happened just now?"

Sofie panicked. Lana was supposed to be there? She turned back and started to look under the desk and behind the shelves in the room.

Then, Sofie paused. Looking towards Daken. The pieces came together in her mind. "Where is she?" Sofie asked commandingly. Daken just looked towards Senator Allesk. "You both planned this, didn't you?" Sofie said sadly to the both of them.

"Sadiana," Leia asked the Senator. "What in the world is going on? Where is my granddaughter?"

Sofie stepped towards Senator Allesk. She stared at her intently.

"They're taking her to the headquarters. Supremacy." Senator Allesk said flatly. She then turned to Leia, "Please, Leia, don't misunderstand. It was out of self-preservation." She looked like she was ready to beg Leia for forgiveness.

"Well then, now is the time for you to prove your alignment. Where is the ship now?" Leia asked the Senator seriously.

Leia and Sofie rushed to find Lana. Sofie urged Leia to stay behind for safety, she told her to check the building for the Resistance Pilot. Leia tried to apologize to Sofie and explain what exactly had happened.

Leia had received a call from Sadiana Allesk saying that she needed her to come to the Galactic Senate as quickly as possible- she said there was an unimaginable amount of money on the line for the Resistance and she needed her assistance. Leia decided that it would be safe to bring Lana. It would have normally- if Sadiana hadn't set them up.

Sofie used the coordinates given to them to take Leia's ship to Supremacy.

* * *

Meanwhile, two stormtroopers that had flown back from Hosnian Prime arrived at the Supremacy base. They docked and alerted General Hux and Kylo Ren of their arrival.

Lana waited on the ship they had used. She had been crying ever since they left Hosnian Prime and was unsure of what was happening. All she knew was that she did _not_ like it.

Hux and Ren made their way to the docked ship.

"Do you have a plan, sir?" Hux asked him.

"A plan? It's a child." Ren answered back to him. He knew secretly what Hux was referring to, but didn't want to admit that he knew to be 'nice'.

"She's three-years-old, probably skittish and terrified. My men are not trained to deal with... children." Hux said to him.

"Do not underestimate my ability to be manipulative," Ren said to him.

They stood at the entrance of the ship. Ren instructed Hux to stay behind. He then walked up into the ship. The two stormtroopers greeted him.

"Sir, we have brought the girl. She is in the left room." One of the stormtroopers said to him.

"Good," He replied. "Wait outside."

He walked to the back of the ship and stood outside the room they were holding her in. Ren reassured himself that gaining her trust would be essential, but he needed to distance himself emotionally.

He entered the room. Lana began to cry harder upon seeing him, helmet, cape, and all. Her legs hung off the bench that the stormtroopers had put her on. She wore a child's tunic.

Ren panicked slightly, fearing he was already failing. He took off his helmet to talk to her.

"It's okay, I'm not a monster." He said to her, staying distant. She cried still. Ren tried to think of ways to gain her trust.

"Do you miss your mom? Do you want to see her?" Lana looked interested at the mention of her mother, and Ren was right, that was _all_ she wanted currently.

Ren walked closer to her and crouched down to one knee so he could be at her level.

"I know you want your mom, but I'm your dad. I can also take care of you." He said to her.

"Where is mom…?" Lana tried to ask him.

Ren weighed his options. "She's busy with other things, she needs help. Don't worry." He said to her. Lana said nothing.

"Are you hungry? Let's go. I'm sure you'll see your mom soon." Ren said to her. Lana was calmer now, albeit confused. She knew what a dad was, but didn't know about her own. Sofie had not tried to explain it to her but previously told her that some people had only one mom or dad.

Ren picked her up and took her out of the ship.

The stormtroopers and Hux watched in interest as their boss walked out of the ship with a small child.

All Ren could think about was who he could hire to take care of her in his place.

* * *

Sofie spent the last hour navigating to the presumed location of Supremacy. The ship navigated itself to the coordinates given to her by Senator Allesk.

It stopped and stayed in place. Sofie checked the location and looked out of the windows multiple times in confusion.

There was nothing. It was empty space.

They had moved, Sofie was too late.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the wait, just went through a strange period in my life. Also, is the switching between Ren and Ben confusing? Either way, it is intentional haha. enjoy ~

Sofie sat in the ship's chair and zoned out. She felt completely helpless. Her mind filled with worse-case scenarios and any drive she had was now replaced with dread.

She decided that the only thing she could do for now was to go home.

Sofie returned to the Resistance base on D'Qar and tried to ensure that her arrival had minimal fanfare. She tried not to blame anyone except Ben for Lana's abduction, but it was hard to ignore the 'what-ifs'.

Sofie returned Leia's ship, put on her best poker face, and made her way to her room with minimal conversation. Once she made it to her room, she flopped into her bed, held onto her pillow tightly and cried.

She gave herself a moment to miss Lana, be furious with Ben, and be disappointed with Leia. She also scolded herself, thinking of all the things she could have done differently.

Then, her emotions subsided as she fell into a deep sleep.

_Knock, knock._

"...yes?" Sofie woke up and said sleepily, trying to regain her composure. She wondered how long she had been asleep.

"Sofie? It's Leia, can I come in?" She heard the voice say through the door.

Sofie got up in a rush and a pit appeared in her stomach. She opened the door and saw Leia standing with her arms folded. Sofie guessed that she already knew how her attempt to retrieve Lana had gone.

"I wanted to see how you were doing," Leia told her.

Sofie let Leia inside and they both sat at the standard table and chairs provided in each room.

"I'm doing… not too well." Sofie told Leia. She avoided eye contact with her.

Leia sighed. "I'm sorry I didn't do more," she started. "I had no idea. I trusted Sadiana." Sofie shook her head in understanding.

"I know. I did too, and she was so supportive of the Resistance." Sofie said.

"Sofie," Leia started bluntly. "I know that rescuing Lana is your top priority right now, but I have a proposition that might benefit both of us."

Sofie eyed Leia curiously. Admittedly, while consumed with issues that were personal to her, she forgot about the conflict that had started to overtake the whole galaxy.

"I have intel coming in that will tell us where Luke went. If we convince him to come fight with us, maybe he can help find Lana as well." Leia told Sofie.

"You think he'll listen to me?" Sofie asked her. She knew she could probably make an emotionally-driven case for Luke to come back, but she reflected back to him leaving the Jedi Academy after it burned down. He didn't care.

"At this point, we're getting desperate and anything is worth a try. Besides, you were one of his students." Leia told her.

Sofie thought of Lana, and decided that Leia was right. It was worth a try.

Within the week, Leia had successfully located Luke, and once Sofie heard the news, she was ready to go to him within the hour. She grew more anxious for Lana with every passing day.

She borrowed Leia's ship once again and began to travel to the coordinates given to her.

Sofie landed on a lush, green archipelago surrounded by a seemingly endless amount of water.

She exited the ship and took in the air. For some reason, it reminded her of the Jedi Academy.

She walked carefully across the island, taking in the sight of the cliffs and ocean. A short walk from where she had landed, she found a cluster of huts. She walked through them and eventually spotted a figure standing near a cliff. Sofie walked faster towards the figure.

"Luke!" She called out to him once he was in earshot. The figure turned towards her. She could tell that it was him, even from afar.

Sofie walked up to him but stopped a distance back. She tried to gauge what he was feeling, but was puzzled by his solemn expression.

"What are you doing here?" He asked her with amusement in his voice.

Sofie crossed her arms. "I'm sure you have a few guesses."

"I could," Luke remarked, "But you won't like any of my responses to them." Sofie frowned. She had to be transparent.

"There's a lot of conflict happening out there," Sofie began to explain. "And Leia… she said you could help us out. You could come help and fight for the Resistance."

Sofie struggled to read Luke's face.

"You could come and help us fight Ben- or rather, Kylo Ren." Sofie said somewhat meekly. She knew that Ben was the reason for his self-isolation.

Luke stepped closer to Sofie, a look of regret flashed on his face.

"I would only make it worse, trust me, Sofie." Luke said to her.

Sofie felt frustration building in her. She felt like she was talking to the same exact Luke she had seen at the Jedi Academy. One that had lost hope in Ben and the Jedi as a whole.

"I know I went against you at the Jedi Academy. But, there's a reason _I_ also need your help." Sofie pleaded with Luke. He narrowed his eyes at her, slightly expecting a tirade about saving Ben.

"I have a child. She's two and Ben's." Sofie felt an anxiety rising in her. "And they took her. The First Order did, Ben did. They tricked Leia and I."

Luke looked at her with slight interest, he knew he had failed to stop their relationship, but he was surprised by the outcome, nonetheless.

"I'm sure they're not going to hurt her, at most maybe they'll use her as leverage— but either way, I still want her back." Sofie bit her lip. "I know Ben is a lost cause to you, but Lana isn't to me."

Luke quickly walked past Sofie. Sofie turned around and watched him head towards the huts.

Sofie laughed in disbelief.

"You're giving me no answer?" She yelled towards Luke. He just motioned with his hand to follow her.

Sofie sighed but followed him anyway.

* * *

On Supremacy, Ren tried to make arrangements for Lana, but Snoke, who originally had immense interest in Lana, but was now brushing her off.

He assured Ren that they would eventually place her in their academy for Force-sensitive youth, but told him to teach her to the best of his ability for now.

Ren was annoyed. He had other responsibilities and was under the impression that Snoke would take care of Lana. Instead, he had pawned her off onto him.

But Ren was also not surprised, it fit a pattern he had been seeing recently. He was being brushed off again and again.

Ren ordered a couple of stormtroopers to bring a youngling bed to his quarters.

 _This is absurd,_ he thought to himself in full gear while watching the stormtroopers build the tiny bed in the spare room he previously used to meditate. He wondered if this was an elaborate test from Snoke, but he also couldn't imagine what he would learn from the experience.

Once the bed was built, the stormtroopers asked if there was anything else he needed. Ren pondered for a moment.

"Find me a caretaker," he said to them through his mask. "I don't care who it is." The stormtroopers nodded and left.

Ren took off his mask and made his way to Lana who was napping on his bed. He stood in front of the bed and rubbed his temples. She was a handful, but it was hard for him to ignore her whenever she cried about something.

Lana rustled and Ren perked up, wondering what she would want this time. It took forever to get her to sleep, she cried nonstop and refused to lay down. She only slept after exhausting herself.

Instead of waking up, she fell back asleep. Ren sighed in relief and let her be. It would give him a few more moments of freedom. He did not want to deal with putting her to sleep again.

* * *

On Ahch-To, Luke resisted Sofie's pleadings for help. Between their seemingly endless debates, Luke continued chores as usual. Sofie doubted that he was taking her seriously. She wondered if he actually arguing with her and hearing her case.

Now desperate for any help, Sofie tried a different angle while watching him clean up his hut.

"Look, I understand your issues with the Jedi and I know that you coming to help the Resistance could be against whatever values you have now," Sofie was exasperated at this point, but still determined to get _something_. "Could you at least train me so that I can be properly matched against Ben?" Sofie asked him.

Luke looked at her, he seemed confused.

"You almost matched him at the academy, didn't you? Besides, what could I teach you? You were already my student for years." Luke asked Sofie. She sighed.

"I did fight Ben a couple of years ago after the academy collapsed. But we knew each others' fighting styles _too_ well. Besides, he's been training as Kylo Ren all this time. I rarely get a chance to train." Sofie explained to Luke. This seemed to resonate with Luke. Maybe he would be fine with her almost as a proxy.

"Fine, I'll train you a bit more, and I guess we'll see how much you remember."

With the remainder of the day, Luke and Sofie trained in the basics. At nighttime, he let her stay in one of the huts.

Sofie did not enjoy being alone with her thoughts in the hut. She sat on the uncomfortable bed that attempted to cushion rock with grass.

She tried to close her eyes for sleep, but then jumped upon hearing a too familiar voice.

"What is this?" It was Ben, of course. His words implied he could see Sofie's surroundings. She prayed that he couldn't tell where she was.

"You have a lot of gall showing up here." Sofie said to him, sitting up in her bed.

Nothing from Ben.

"She's fine. She's acclimating perfectly over here." Ren said to Sofie, ignoring her comment.

"Really? I expected her to cry all the time, especially since you couldn't possibly know how to take care of her." Sofie mocked and crossed her arms.

"And I would have expected a good mother to be looking for or have already found her child." Sofie frowned, but he continued, "Also, we have the best caretakers here, for the record." Ren shot back.

 _This feels so petty_ , she thought. She contemplated trying to imitate him into confessing _something_. She kept quiet for a moment instead.

"She needs a stuffed creature to fall asleep quickly." Sofie stated. Ren looked at her blankly, but she could also see an understanding in his eyes.

"Okay," was all he said. Sofie fumed silently and resisted ranting. She had yelled at him enough, and he knew that she wouldn't hesitate to strike him down if given the chance.

"Why did you connect with me, anyway?" Sofie asked him.

Ren was surprised at the change in her demeanor from last time. He had connected with her because he had expected her on Supremacy already. Instead, the Resistance as a whole had been quieter than usual.

"I'm just getting intel." Ren replied.

 _Sure you are,_ Sofie thought. She tried to sit comfortably on the bed.

When she looked towards Ben again, he was gone.

Her heart sank slightly as she looked around the empty hut.

She was alone.

* * *

Luke made sure to wake up Sofie early the next morning. She groaned at the sound of his voice.

They shared a simple breakfast and set out near the cliffs to practice.

On the walk over, Luke decided to be blunt with her.

"I could tell yesterday that you're out of practice, but you'll have plenty of room for improvement." Luke said to Sofie. They sat next to a cliff.

"But I can still incorporate my tricks, right?" Sofie asked with a smile.

Luke sighed. "Flipping around like that just distracts yourself." Sofie opened her mouth to speak but Luke quickly put his hand up, "Let's meditate on it first."

Sofie sighed but knew that Luke was right. She was in desperate need of meditation and she had not done it properly since the Jedi Academy.

Sofie closed her eyes and figured that the Jedi Academy was a good place to pick up her meditation so she could resolve her feelings.

* * *

The stormtrooper hesitated as he stood in front of the towering, fully suited Kylo Ren. The stormtrooper was afraid to repeat what Ren had said, because he figured that he had misspoke.

"Sir, you said that… you need a stuffed creature?" The stormtrooper finally mustered the courage to repeat Ren's request.

"Did I stutter?" Ren said back to him, hiding his embarrassment.

"No. I will get that as quickly as I can for you." The stormtrooper said and continued down the hall nonchalantly.

Ren also continued down the hall. He was tense and anxious to return to his quarters. Earlier in the day he had met with Hux and Snoke to discuss their next steps against the Resistance. They had suspected that the droid they were trying to capture had made it to the Resistance and revealed Luke Skywalker's location. This was a major issue for them.

Ren felt an anger rising in him as he thought about Luke. However, he knew he needed to channel the anger properly. Snoke had ordered them to destroy the Resistance's base, he needed to focus on that first.

Ren opened the door to his quarters and was greeted by the sight of Lana riding piggyback on one of the two stormtroopers in his room. He had ordered them earlier in the day to watch her while he worked.

The stormtrooper dropped Lana at the sight of Ren. He ordered them both to leave.

Lana started to cry. She had actually been enjoying herself.

Ren grunted in anger. He was trying to be tolerant of her, but he did need to remove himself occasionally. He called the stormtroopers back in and ordered them to stay and put her to sleep.

He took a moment to seriously contemplate moving her somewhere else.

* * *

Luke had Sofie meditate religiously over the span of three days. As he suspected, she had allowed herself to let some of her resentment, anger, and anxiety consume her.

He figured it was simply a symptom of the previous events and recalled his own process of dealing with what happened after the Jedi Academy.

At the end of their training session, Luke addressed Sofie seriously.

"Sofie, your attachment to what happened will always be your weakness, no matter how much you train." Luke said to Sofie at the end of their session for the day. However, he also admitted to her that he was impressed by her progress.

Sofie and Luke walked back to huts and engaged in a bit of small-talk about their days at the academy.

They were half-way there when Sofie suddenly stopped. She clenched her chest. A headache consumed her. Her knees went numb and her eyes blurry.

Luke rushed to her, but then felt it too in a weaker form. He helped her steady herself.

"You… felt it too?" Sofie asked Luke weakly. He nodded at her.

Sofie managed to get to her hut, still bewildered from the experience.

Exhaustion quickly consumed her.

She slept for several hours until something disturbed her.

Sofie slowly awoke, and immediately thought that her eyes were tricking her. She sat up and rubbed her eyes, realizing that it was Ben in casual clothes sitting in the hut.

" _God_ , you scared me," She breathed out. He said nothing. His figure sat on the chair in the hut with his hands in his face. Sofie shuddered.

A realization dawned over her.

 _That disturbance,_ she thought to herself, _was it him?_

"What happened?" She finally asked Ben. He looked up at her. His eyes conveyed misery. Sofie felt her stomach drop. Was he trying to manipulate her? Trick her?

"I did it." He gasped out. "I killed him."

Sofie gulped and squeezed her palm. She could feel his pain, and it disturbed her.

She took a moment to feel it.

"Han." She said quietly under her breath.

She tried not to silently judge him, but it was hard not to. Tears appeared in the corners of her eyes.

She was shocked equally by what he had done, and his reaction.

"I did it, and Snoke still didn't care. He said that he could still feel the conflict inside me." Ben said, his voice shaking.

Sofie didn't know what to say. She was afraid of saying the wrong thing and moving him further away from his true self.

She stood up and carefully moved towards him. She placed a gentle hand in his shoulder.

What he had done was undoubtedly wrong, but what Sofie saw in front of her reignited a spark of hope.

Ren felt Sofie put her hand on his shoulder. He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply.

He knew she wouldn't join him without a fight, but in the moment he felt something that told him she would be easier to turn than he had previously thought.

Sofie heard sudden crying in the distance. She whipped her head to the right but only saw the wall of the hut.

"Lana?" She called out into the air. Ren looked towards the spare room.

"Ben, please. I need to see her." She gripped his shoulder and locked eyes with him. She hated herself in the moment, overlooking a murder for her own daughter.

However, they shared something in the moment. Something they both understood.

"...something can be arranged." Ren said quietly.

* * *

Sofie was packed to leave before the sun came up. She contemplated telling Luke that she was leaving, but decided it was best to keep a low-profile.

She started up Leia's ship once again. Several messages flooded into the ship. She figured that she could listen to them while following the coordinates given to her by Ben.

He instructed her to fly just outside the range of Supremacy. From there, he would fly his shuttle to her and pick her up.

Sofie was nervous. Factually, what she was doing was wrong, despite her gut urging her on.

Sofie became tense while listening to the messages sent by Leia. The messages recapped everything that had happened while Sofie was training with Luke. Leia narrated the infiltration of Supremacy to stop D'Qar from being destroyed. She also explained that they had left the base and relocated to Raddus.

Sofie stopped at the coordinates given to her by Ben. There was nothing around her. She hoped it wasn't a trap.

Finally, a shuttle appeared. Sofie let the shuttle connect. She also placed her hand on her lightsaber as the lock opened.

Ben walked through, helmet under his arm.

He eyed her hand. She moved it to her side.

"Sorry," she said to him. "You can never be too safe."

They shared a moment of silence, both feeling the awkwardness of such a neutral meeting.

Ben stepped towards her and handed her a set of clothes.

"Wear this, barely anyone in the First Order saw you the first time, but this will help you blend in. But... everyone finds Lana annoying and will avoid you anyway." He said to her. She shot him a look.

The clothes Ben gave her consisted of a dark cloak, long sleeves and pants.

"Also," he looked at her seriously, "You have to call me Ren. Nobody is allowed to call me Ben here." Sofie begrudgingly nodded.

She couldn't wait to tell Lana what she sacrificed for her once she was older.

"What's your new name?" Ren asked her. She narrowed her eyes.

"Aya Zel." Sofie said confidently. She could tell that Ben was indifferent with her choice.

They boarded his shuttle and Sofie looked back at Leia's ship sadly. She wished that she could tell her that everything was going to be okay.

She needed to protect Lana, and she could sense a mutual understanding with Ben.

They both needed something from each other.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of smut, but fitting I think for our situation. We are also going to start diverging from Canon! Always interested to hear your comments/critiques, I am apt to improve if possible c:

Before they stepped onto the main ship, Ben turned to her and held out his hand. 

“Give me your weapons and chronometer.” He said with seriousness. Sofie almost refused. But she acknowledged the risk Ren would be taking with her. 

She grabbed her lightsaber and looked at it with sad eyes. 

“I _barely_ got another personal lightsaber to replace the one you took from me and now you’re taking it again?” Sofie pouted. 

She handed him both items and he hid them under his arm. Ben put his helmet on and they walked out together onto the ship. 

Sofie rode in silence with Ben to Supremacy. She was nervous and endless questions ran through her mind.

_Will Leia be disappointed in me? Will anyone recognize me? Is it a trap? What if Lana’s not there? Can I really call Ben Ren the whole time?_

Despite her nervousness, she kept a straight face. She needed to appear unwavering. 

It was hard to call him Ren when she could see hints of the Ben she knew. 

The shuttle docked Supremacy. Sofie hid her face under the cloak. 

The sights made Sofie tense up. It felt strange to be in an environment that she would have to avoid under normal circumstances..

She gulped as the reality hit her. She was a spy now, but with no way to communicate with her actual allegiance. 

Ren led them to his quarters and told Sofie to wait outside. He went in and closed the doors behind him. 

Sofie looked around the ship. She wondered if she looked like a suspicious figure.

Inside, Ren dismissed the stormtroopers assigned to Lana. 

“You were taking too long to find a caretaker, so I found one myself. She will be taking care of her now, you are relieved of your duties,” He told them. Ren swore he heard one of them sigh in relief. 

The stormtroopers left the room. Sofie nodded to them as they passed by her. She peeked into the room and Ren waved her on. He took off his helmet. 

Upon entering the room, her eyes caught Lana sitting on the gigantic bed. Sofie closed the door behind her and Lana let out an exclamation. 

“Mommy!” She recognized her mother instantly. Sofie rushed over to pick her up and she held her tightly in her arms. 

Sofie sat on the bed and looked at Lana, making sure she was real. 

“Are you okay? Did they do anything to you?” Sofie asked Lana, aware that Ren was standing a few feet away. 

Lana shook her head and explained how the stormtroopers would play with her to the best of her ability. Sofie was relieved that they hadn’t brainwashed her _yet_. 

“Sofie,” Ren started, “I’m moving both of you somewhere else. I want my meditation room back.” 

“Moving us to where?” Sofie asked, nervous to be away from Ren. 

“Nearby. This area has all the quarters of high-ranking officers. You will be just across the hallway.” Ren said. Sofie breathed a sigh of relief. 

“Are you sure we won’t cause suspicion?” Sofie asked him. “ I’m not as recognizable as Leia, but I know that I stick out.” 

“Just mind your own business. You have one job and you don’t need to move around unnecessarily.” Ren told her. Sofie bit the inside of her lip. 

Lana and Sofie moved to their new temporary home. It was similar to Ren’s and had a main room, bathroom, and a spare room. 

Sofie was looking around the room when she heard a knock on the door. She almost jumped out of her skin, but went to open the door. It was Ren.

“Yes?” She asked him. 

“I forgot to give you this.” Ren held out a small, stuffed stormtrooper doll.

Sofie resisted laughing. She looked at him.

“Is this propaganda?” She raised her eyebrows at him. 

Ren frowned. “You’re the one who said she needed _something_ to sleep with.” Sofie smirked at him and took the doll. 

“Thanks.” She told him, and then closed the door. Her heart fluttered, knowing that he listened to her for once. 

* * *

If Sofie had to describe life on Supremacy in one word, she would have chosen boring. 

Between taking care of Lana and tiptoeing around Ren, there were minimal activities. Most of Sofie’s energy was spent convincing Ren that she and Lana needed more than beds and a couple of dressers. 

Over time, Sofie and Lana developed their own routine. When Sofie was brave enough, they would walk in the nearby hallways for exercise. 

Ren was cold to both of them, but occasionally took Lana with him to an unknown location. When Sofie asked what he was doing, he told her ‘training’. 

Sofie usually asked Lana what they had done when she came back. Lana’s description _did_ make it seem like training, albeit she usually found it boring. 

One evening after putting Lana to bed, Sofie loitered over to Ren’s door. She was desperate for social interaction with an adult she was semi-not afraid of.

She stood in front of the door, put her hand up to knock, but hesitated. 

_What am I doing?_ Sofie thought to herself. _We’re not friendly. This is a business transaction._

Sofie jumped when the door flew open. Ren stood in front of her in what she assumed were his pajamas. 

“What are you doing?” He asked her. Sofie felt blood rush to her face. 

“I-I just had a question,” Sofie said with impulse, “Can we… get more shampoo?” 

“Sure,” Ren replied and began to close the door. 

“Wait,” Sofie put her foot out to stop the door. She tried to find the right words. 

“Can I vent to you?” She asked him. It was something she needed, but didn’t want to admit. 

Ren looked at her with a confused expression. What could she need to vent about? 

He looked her up and down. She had caught him in a strange mood. A dubious thought entered his head. He wondered what she would think if she knew about his unsavory thought. 

He decided to let her in. Sofie walked in and took a seat on the chair intended for the desk. Ren sat on the edge of the bed. He looked towards her to start.

“It’s about Lana, I love her but I _really_ underestimated how much Leia and the others helped me out.” Sofie slumped into the chair. “It is exhausting keeping her entertained. I’ve at least become more comfortable walking around the ship, but even then, people give me strange looks. Are there no other children on this ship?” 

Sofie sat up, looking towards Ren for an answer. 

“There are,” He started, “But they’re usually being trained as stormtroopers.”

Sofie cringed at the thought.

“But they also know who she is, so they’re mainly being nosy,” Ren said, getting up to grab a glass of water. 

“Have you heard what they think about me?” Sofie asked curiously. She would occasionally small-talk with others. They showed minimal interest. She definitely had made no friends, but it was expected for a spy.

“They think you’re her caretaker. Maybe they’re intimidated. You can relay complaints directly to me, but you’re plain-looking enough to blend in.” Ren told her and then took a drink of water. 

Offended, Sofie opened her mouth to say something, but she stopped herself. Why should she care what he thought of her? 

“Anyway,” she said while looking at her hands, “Do you know when you’ll be making your next big political move?” 

“Soon,” Ren told her. Sofie hoped it was soon, because that would be her cue to leave. She hoped they shared the same understanding of the move he would be making. 

They sat in silence together while Ren observed Sofie looking closely at her nails. 

“Okay, well thanks for letting me vent,” Sofie said and began to stand up. Ben walked over to the chair and stood directly in front of her before she could stand fully. Sofie looked up to see him towering over her.

“What?” She asked, surprised to see him standing right in front of her. 

He grabbed her by the arm and lifted her up on her feet. The way he looked at her made her feel uneasy. She tried to pull her arm away from him, but he tightened his grip.

Sofie wanted someone to talk to, but Ren wanted to release a pent-up feeling. 

He planted an aggressive kiss on her lips. Sofie pulled away from him. 

She looked at him with wide eyes, her cheeks now flushed. She was frozen in shock. 

She had to ask herself if she had ever truly moved on from Ben Solo. In reality, that small spark of hope for his redemption had ensured that she did not. 

But that spark was for Ben, not Kylo Ren. 

Sofie stared into his eyes. She saw passion, but also a softness and longing. Between their non-verbal pact and him letting her onto a freaking _First Order ship_ , she reasoned that something had changed inside him. 

Sofie glanced briefly at his lips and kissed him back. He kissed her back and well, refusing to separate their mouths. Ren put his hands on her hips and moved both of them next to the bed. 

Sofie was impressed, but also surprised. She was no stranger to sexual tension with Ben, but she never recalled him being overly assertive. 

He hastily took off his shirt and had Sofie lay down. Ren climbed on top of her and groped her through her shirt. 

He impatiently removed her shirt as well and grabbed at her now bare breasts. At the same time, he moved in to kiss her deeply.

Sofie let her hands explore his chest and neck. It was strange being with him again, because despite being away from him, she knew his body well.

He continued on and removed both of their loose pajama pants. Sofie grinned to herself upon seeing that she had worn underwear but he hadn’t.

Without a beat, he rushed and continued stripping her.

“Wait-“ Sofie said, pressing on his chest, “Do you have any protection?” 

“I’ll be careful,” Ben said, Sofie’s mind flashed to their previous encounters. They had been ‘careful’ _many_ times before, and yet Lana still happened. 

Ben moved closer to her, spreading her legs. Sofie wrapped her arms around him as he entered her. 

His strokes were long and slow initially, but quickly picked up pace. Sofie gripped him tightly, caring less about the sex and more about being able to be enveloped in his warmth. 

Ben’s breathing gradually became slower as he reached his climax. He sloppily pulled out at the last minute.

He got up and glanced at the mess. Sofie also sat up, unsure of his current disposition.

Sofie watched Ben sort through the previously removed clothing. He found her pieces and handed Sofie her articles. 

“I need to meditate,” Ren said to her, putting his clothing back on. 

Sofie stared at him in awe and tried to brush his blunt response as a fluke. 

“Okay, but I’ll see you later?” She moved closer towards him, but he moved away. 

“Probably not, I’m busy and I just needed to release some things. You’re here on a previous agreement, nothing more.” He stood up, Sofie frowned. 

“Nothing more, my ass.” Sofie said under her breath and quickly put her clothing on. 

She stood up and watched him fix the bed. Maybe she needed to meditate too. 

He finished cleaning and walked to open the door to let her out.

“You know, maybe I shouldn’t be here,” Sofie said to him while stepping out. 

“Don’t even think about leaving. I have eyes on you,” Ren told her right before shutting the door. 

Sofie just hoped Lana was still sleeping.

* * *

Sofie woke up the next day and immediately thought of the previous night. She resolved to persuade Ren again, but when she attempted to go outside she found that the door was locked. 

Confused and somewhat annoyed, she connected with Ren via the Force. 

“ _Did you lock me in?!_ ” She shouted to him. She couldn’t tell where he was, but she could tell he wasn’t in his room. After shouting, she heard Lana stir in the spare room.

“We’re carrying out an important task and can’t risk interruptions.” Ren’s voice echoed back to her. 

Sofie huffed and focused her attention on Lana. She was barely waking up from sleeping and moving slowly. 

Sofie looked around the room to see if there was anything that she could carry her in. Her eyes quickly glanced over the bathroom, desk, and chairs, but eventually landed on the bed. She stripped off the blanket and looked at it approvingly. 

She had Lana climb onto her back, and then she tied the blanket at the bottom and then the top to secure her. Sofie jumped up and down a couple of times to test out the secureness.

Once satisfied, Sofie went for the door. She stood back far enough to gain momentum, and then kicked it. It opened surprisingly easy. In fact, it opened _too_ easily. 

Sofie carefully looked down the hall but saw nobody. She wondered if Ren was bluffing when he told her that he had people ‘watching’ her. 

She began to walk down the hall as casually as possible. She noted that the hallways were less empty than usual.

 _They probably focused their resources on-,_ Sofie’s thought was cut short as she turned a corner and immediately saw two stormtroopers walking down the hall with their backs facing her. She stopped and reevaluated her approach. 

She backtracked and turned a different corner. 

This time, she was surprised again, but with a more serious surprise. 

It was a familiar face. Senator Allesk, who had been a spy for the First Order. 

Senator Allesk was walking with a few stormtroopers. Upon seeing Sofie, the Senator blinked in confusion. 

The stormtroopers raised their blasters at Sofie. 

“Stop, Aya!” One of the stormtroopers moved closer to Sofie, “You’ve been ordered to stay in your quarters by Ren.”

Sofie put her hands up, but still tried to talk her way out of the situation.

“It was an emergency, I’m her caregiver and Ren would have me killed if something were to happen to the child,” Sofie said nervously, hoping they would believe her.

Before any of the stormtroopers could reply, Senator Allesk spoke up and moved the stormtroopers aside. 

“Hold on, caregiver? Aya?” The Senator mocked Sofie and then turned to the stormtrooper who had mentioned her quarters. 

“This girl is working for the Resistance, you idiots! Why is she on this ship?! This is a major breach of security!” Senator Allesk’s volume was borderline yelling. The stormtroopers didn’t lower their blasters but stood nervously with this new information.

“They can play?” Lana asked, tugging at her mother’s hair gently. Sofie shushed Lana and reassured her that she could play later.

Sofie turned back and scowled at the Senator. If she confirmed Allesk’s claims, they might not hesitate to terminate her. 

“There must be a misunderstanding. We should let Ren sort this out,” Sofie said calmly to the stormtroopers. 

The Senator stood in disbelief at the situation. 

“This girl is that child’s _mother_ ! She is working _directly_ with the Resistance’s General Leia!” Allesk explained, exasperated. The stormtroopers hesitated still, conflicted between following Ren’s orders and the incriminating claim by the Senator. 

The stormtrooper who initially stopped Sofie put down her blaster and began to restrain Sofie. She untied the blanket holding Lana and gave her to another stormtrooper. 

“We will hold them until Ren comes back from battle.” The stormtrooper said. Senator Allesk highly doubted that Sofie had suddenly joined the First Order, but she felt powerless in enforcing anything. 

Allesk separated from the stormtroopers and told them that she would meet them in the command center after they took care of ‘Aya’.

Once the stormtroopers were out of earshot, she paged General Hux, despite knowing he was occupied with an important task. 

“I know you’re occupied, but this is urgent.” 

* * *

Senator Allesk’s brief conversation with General Hux ignited a wildfire of suspicion among the leaders of the First Order. 

Upon hearing the Senator’s claim, Hux acted quickly, hoping the claim could be deemed unacceptable by Snoke, and Ren could be removed from his current position. 

This fire eventually made its way to Ren. He had finished assisting in destroying the Resistance’s Raddus and was now shaken by the thought that his mother was killed during their assault. 

He tried to recuperate alone in his TIE fighter, but was interrupted by an order from Snoke.

“Ren, I have received some troubling intel from General Hux. Report to me immediately.” Snoke’s demand was short, but Ren understood the seriousness.

Snoke ordered his guards to bring Sofie and Lana to his throne room before Ren arrived. 

Upon being escorted to the throne room, Sofie squinted her eyes as the red flooded her vision. The guards placed her in front of Snoke, unrestrained.

“Silly girl,” Snoke started. “You came back, but as disposable.” He laughed in her face.

“You haven’t realized it, have you?” Snoke started. Sofie lowered her brows.

“Realized what? I’ve known since the Jedi Academy that someone has been whispering in Ben’s ear and tricking him,” She said back to him. Snoke laughed again.

“Yes, he needed my help to realize his potential, but I’m the one who encouraged him to choose _you_ as a partner,” Snoke said to her. Sofie tilted her head, not fully understanding him.

“Chose me? What, because I was a great student?” Sofie smirked, but Snoke quickly shut her down.

“I told him exactly what to say, and what to do to charm you. He has never had any true feelings for you.” Snoke bellowed. “It was a setup for _her.”_ Snoke pointed to Lana who had also been brought in by a separate guard. She had miraculously fallen asleep, but Sofie assumed it was an artificial, induced sleep. They had separated them after the encounter with the Senator.

Sofie bit her lip. _Don’t believe him, he’s just trying to plant a seed of doubt_ , she told herself. 

“Liar,” She spat back at him, “I felt that Ben was genuine, you can’t fake that.” 

Snoke simply eyed her with amusement, “And yet, he has never once shown genuine interest in you or the child as Kylo Ren.” 

Sofie opened her mouth to respond, but was interrupted by Ren entering the throne room. She turned to look at him since she was unrestrained, but was redirected by one of the guards. In her short glance she noted that he was in full suit with his helmet and cape. 

“Kylo Ren,” Snoke said to him, “Come and explain yourself, will you?” 

Ren also moved to step in front of Snoke and stood just feet away from Sofie and the guards.

“Explain what?” Ren asked Snoke. He glanced at Sofie. 

“ _Don’t be smart with me!_ ” Snoke bellowed and Force threw Ren across the room. “You willingly brought a spy for the Resistance onto the ship!” 

Ren stood up slowly after being thrown, “I brought a _caregiver_ onto the ship after being told that I needed to take care of the child myself.” Ren scowled at Snoke, nervousness and fierceness stirred inside him.

“Whatever the reason, the consequence must be faced. Unlike last time, we have no reason to keep her.” Snoke stood up from the throne.

“Finish her off. Prove your unwavering ruthlessness by murdering your previous lover and the mother of your child,” Snoke laughed at his own words, “A perfect ending to a love story.” 

Ren didn’t hesitate and stood behind Sofie, simultaneously igniting his lightsaber. Sofie felt the heat prickle at her skin. 

The guards turned Sofie around to face Ren. They pushed her to her knees. 

The guards then moved away from her and stood near the walls. About ten guards stood on the outer edge of the room, armed and attentive.

Sofie locked eyes with Ren while on her knees. She quickly explored his mind, expecting to find anger. However, her interest turned to pain.

“ _Leia?”_ She mouthed silently to him. His mind was uncertain, but also uneasy. Despite the uncertainty, they shared the same understanding made after Ren had murdered Han. 

Ren lifted his blade up with one hand, assuming position to strike Sofie. Sofie lowered her head and closed her eyes, reminding herself to trust.

While also placing his hand near his hip, Ren began to lower the blade, but side-stepped Sofie at the same time to lunge towards Snoke. While in motion, he used his cape to his advantage. Ren dropped Sofie’s previously confiscated lightsaber to her. 

Sofie grabbed the lightsaber as Ren stepped past her and used his cover to roll backwards towards the standing Snoke. 

Snoke reacted to Ren lunging directly in front of him, and quickly threw him back with the Force, letting out a ferocious yell.

“ _PATHETIC TRAITOR!”_ Snoke yelled as Ren began to fly backwards. 

Sofie used this split-second distraction to ignite her lightsaber and completely slice Snoke through the abdomen. 

Snoke instantly went lifeless and his body separated. 

Sofie and Ren exchanged a glance. A new chapter had started.


	10. Chapter 10

The atmosphere in the throne room became tense as the reality of what had happened began to sink in.

Sofie and Ren were quickly ambushed by Snoke's guards still in the room. Sofie went after the guard holding Lana.

The guard quickly dropped an unconscious Lana and drew their weapon. They stepped towards Sofie with assertive attacks and left her no choice but to step back gradually.

Another guard joined their fight, attempting to attack Sofie from the side. She Force jumped to evade them and landed near Lana.

"Sofie!" She heard a voice yell from across the room. It was from Ben. She found him in the sea of red and watched as he threw another lightsaber towards her. She caught it and recognized it instantly. It was her first lightsaber from the Jedi Academy.

She ignited the old saber in her other hand and began to move offensively on the guards. She chose one to attack aggressively and attempted to stave off the other with the Force.

She could tell that the guard was highly skilled. Sofie focused on defending herself to keep up with their pace. Finally, she disarmed the guard and then injured him.

Sofie finished off the rest of the guards that flocked towards her in a similar fashion. She occasionally eyed Ben across the room who seemed to be taking a more aggressive approach to his opponents. He didn't hesitate to kill them if the opportunity arose.

Finally, they had injured or killed enough guards to easily take the remaining three.

While fighting alongside Ben she noted the distinct ways their fighting styles had evolved. Ben had become more ruthless and reactionary. His swings were driven by emotion and focus was secondary.

Sofie fought to injure, not kill. She still preferred to perform acrobatic maneuvers to evade her enemies and preferred to make defensive over moves focusing on offense.

Their fighting styles complemented each other. Sofie could engage an opponent but then give Ben a chance to launch at them with surprising aggression. This also worked in reverse to their advantage.

Once all guards were incapacitated, Sofie put her lightsabers away and ran to check on Lana. She was asleep still, but definitely alive. Sofie breathed a sigh of relief.

"Sofie," Ben said behind her. Sofie stood up and looked towards Ben with interest. She smiled at him with joy and relief.

"You're free now, Ben. Snoke can't whisper in your ear or tell you what to do anymore. You can come back with us." Sofie moved close to him and reached out to grab his hand.

"Snoke is gone which means I am now the Supreme Leader. Who in their right mind would throw away power like this?" Ben said, gripping Sofie's hand tightly. "Look how we fought together to defeat these guards. Imagine what we could accomplish together on a galaxy-level. Then I will finally travel to Mustafar and find the power that my grandfather was too weak for."

Sofie pulled her hand away. "What? You're speaking nonsense, you've changed. I can tell," she said to him. He scowled at her.

"Sofie, I've never changed. You're creating stories in your head about me." Ben looked at her with intense eyes. "As Supreme Leader, I can finally bring the balance that my grandfather could not. This is the best option. Lana will get the best training, she will always be safe, and you can finally find the rest of your family."

"I've watched you destroy planets and civilizations first-hand, this is wrong and you know it," Sofie told him, her voice rising in volume.

This was the second time she had tried to reach out to him, but she was wrong. Nothing had changed.

"I've been holding out hope for you for so long," she said, holding back her tears.

He knew this because he had also been holding out hope for her, too.

"Nobody asked you to." He shot back, his words betraying his thoughts. His eyes were still filled with passion. He wanted Sofie on his side.

Sofie realized that this conversation was part of a larger cycle. They both held strong convictions. She held her lightsaber hilt tightly.

"Sorry," was all she said before she used one of the hilts to hit him square on the head. He fell to the ground, completely knocked out. She grabbed his comlink.

Sofie gathered Lana quickly and made something similar to what she had carried Lana in earlier. She resolved to leave the ship as quickly as possible.

With the exception of the Senator and the other high ranking officers, the rest of the workers on the ship disregarded Sofie. She easily weaved through the halls, blending in as usual.

Despite her easy passage, nervousness wrecked her as she feared a familiar face around every corner.

Finally, she arrived at Ren's shuttle docked. She loitered in the area and waited until nobody was in sight. She pulled out the comlink taken from Ren.

Driven by pure adrenaline, she left Supremacy and headed to the coordinates she had saved for Leia's ship.

Sofie watched the radar carefully to monitor for any others that could be suspicious of her.

The airspace was silent. Sofie stopped the ship in awe and confusion. She had left easily and expected a surprise at any moment.

She sat, waiting for an ambush. Sofie watched Lana stir in the seat she had put her in. She was getting restless and was cranky after waking up.

"Where are we?" She asked in her toddler-toned voice. Sofie reassured her that they would be going home and began to move them into the other ship.

Sofie bit her lip. Could they go home? Where were they going?

The status of the Resistance was uncertain to Sofie. The First Order had supposedly destroyed the ship that Leia was on. They had also evacuated their previous home.

Sofie also knew it also wasn't the time to go to Nexa. Not yet.

She transferred her and Lana to Leia's ship, noting that it seemed to have been ransacked. She was amazed that it was still where they had left it.

The ship had messages from none other than Leia. Sofie stared at them, unsure if she wanted to hear them quite yet.

Instead, she set the coordinates in the ship and began the flight back to Luke Skywalker.

Sofie carefully landed on Ahch-To. The sun had set and the only light came from the moon.

She picked up Lana and ignited her lightsaber for light. They walked through the greenery as she had done before and eventually appeared before the huts.

Sofie reminded Lana to be quiet and took them into the hut that Luke had previously let Sofie stay in.

She quickly laid Lana down to sleep, and they were both taken by exhaustion.

The next morning, Sofie was awakened by a soft voice.

"I knew someone was here," the voice said, calling her out of her sleep. She gasped and opened her eyes, trying to adjust them to the figure in the door of the hut. It was Luke.

"Master Luke, I-" Sofie began to explain herself in a whispered voice, but Luke put up his hand in understanding. He exited the hut and Sofie carefully got out of the bed without disturbing Lana.

The morning sun and wind hit Sofie as she exited the hut. It felt refreshing, but her stomach still turned as she faced Luke.

"I didn't know where else to go," Sofie told Luke outside of the hut.

"Don't know where to go? Or don't want to go?" Luke asked her. Sofie sighed and hesitated to speak. Luke was catching onto her.

"I don't know where the Resistance is now. They evacuated the original base and then they had a ship called Raddus, but that was destroyed by the First Order." Sofie told Luke. He nodded slowly, still not believing her explanation.

"They've been hitting us hard. It's bad," Sofie bit her lip.

"At least you got what you needed, hm?" He motioned towards the hut. Sofie nodded and smiled. He was right, she had Lana back and it had been her primary goal.

"I did, not without some struggles, but she's safe now." Sofie looked towards the hut and then back towards Luke. "Do you want to meet her? She is your grand-niece!" Sofie said, beaming with joy. Luke couldn't say no.

Sofie went back into the hut to a partially awake Lana. She sat next to her on the bed and gently spoke to her.

"Good morning my Lana, do you want to say hi to your uncle?" Sofie pushed Lana's wispy hairs out of her face.

"Who?" Lana replied back sleepily. Sofie picked her up and took her out of the hut.

Luke's face seemed to soften as Sofie exited the hut with Lana.

Admittedly, when Sofie had arrived at his private sanctuary, he had initially been skeptical. They hadn't left on the right foot at the Jedi Academy, and he could sense her hope for Ben even as they trained. His skepticism was sealed when she suddenly left in the night.

Sofie held Lana and introduced Luke.

"This is Master Luke, he's your uncle but also taught me many things! Can you say hi?" Sofie asked Lana playfully. Lana gave Luke a meek wave. Luke waved back to her and smiled. He couldn't force Sofie to remember his training and hold it in high regard, but he appreciated her acknowledgment.

"Let's go wake up," Luke said to the both of them.

The three of them enjoyed an Ahch-To breakfast consisting of milk and greens from the island. Luke used the opportunity to find Sofie's true reason for returning.

"Sofie, what exactly happened during your rescue mission?" Luke asked her, sipping his milk. Sofie debated lying to save face. Knocking Ren out in the throne room had caused something to click inside her head. She had realized how selfish her actions were in hindsight.

But maybe fixing her selfishness started with being transparent.

"To be honest, the night that I left, Ren and I had an 'encounter'," Sofie told Luke, her eyes shifting nervously. Luke looked at her with curiosity. "Encounter?" He asked her.

"Two years ago, when the Jedi Academy first burned down, Ren tried to probe my mind after they captured me. Ever since then the Force has been connecting us somehow. The night I left we had a chat. We shared a goal, and our connection was so strong that we assumed we would go to each other's side when it was done." Sofie said while glancing at Lana playing with an eating utensil on the other side of the hut. It sounded silly when she said her reasoning out loud.

"We eventually completed our shared goal of killing Supreme Leader Snoke, but of course, neither of us changed our position." Sofie shrugged. Luke looked at her with wide eyes. "I guess we're both disillusioned."

"You feel selfish." Luke started. Sofie looked at him with amazement. He had her pinned. "Why?" He asked.

Sofie frowned and looked down. "I brushed aside important things thinking I could help him. I stood by and was complacent when he killed Voe, his father, and now Leia might be gone, as well." Sofie cleared her throat.

"I should have taken those as signs that he was long gone. I had opportunities to kill him, I should have taken them." Sofie looked at Luke, her eyes watering.

"Sofie," Luke leaned closer towards her, "having hope isn't a fault." Sofie breathed deeply.

"I know, but how many lives could I have saved if I had stopped him right after he left the Jedi Academy? I fought him with Voe and Tai but I didn't fight him to kill him. I was trying to help him." Sofie said to Luke, regret seeping through her voice.

"The people who had friends, family-" Sofie continued until Luke put his hand on her arm to stop her.

"Kylo Ren does not embody the First Order. The First Order does. They would have caused destruction with or without him." Luke told her. Sofie sighed.

"Maybe." She told Luke. "I just- I don't want to feel obligated to help him."

"Then don't, focus on helping the ones you've seen be terrorized by the First Order. He's responsible for destroying numerous planets and ending entire societies." Luke said to Sofie. She thought deeply.

She pulled out her chronometer and turned it on for the first time since Ren took it from her. The same messages from the ship were accessible, and a new message had been received.

She listened to the most recent message and breathed a heavy sigh of relief. It was Leia's voice. Ren's instincts had been wrong.

In the message, Leia described the recent tragedy with the Raddus ship. She told Sofie that with their remaining forces, they were hiding in an old Resistance base on Crait, but planned to leave immediately and keep running from the First Order.

She told Sofie that they would be fragmenting for now, but to be assured that they would rebuild. Sofie was relieved to hear that Leia was safe and that the Resistance had not been wiped out completely. Luke appeared thoughtful as Sofie played the messages.

"Even if they spread out, it's only a matter of time until they catch up to them," Sofie said, her face solemn. "It's like we're starting all over again."

"Don't lose hope yet. Go to her," Luke told Sofie.

"I just got here, I wanted to train with you before going back," Sofie told Luke.

"I think you'll be doing more significant work with Leia than you think," Luke smirked.

After talking directly to Leia, Sofie learned that Leia was going to be coordinating the Resistance on Batuu.

Before leaving Ach-to, Sofie fought tears while preparing for her and Lana to leave. Spending time with her old teacher had reminded her of the ups and downs they had shared. Sofie associated Luke with her youth, which she found herself reminiscing on occasionally.

She gave Luke a hug before boarding Leia's ship and thanked him for the many years that he had helped her. He reassured her that they would be talking again soon. Sofie believed him but knew it wouldn't be the same.

Sofie traveled to the new base, noting the overgrown flora that helped hide the base. She landed and brought herself and Lana inside. The base was mostly empty, but still had the essential technology that Leia and the other members of the crew needed.

Sofie and Leia's reunion on the new Resistance base was also bittersweet. Upon seeing each other their faces lit up with joy and relief. Lana also instantly recognized her grandmother.

"Nana!" Lana exclaimed as soon as she saw Leia. Leia picked up Lana and gave her a tight squeeze.

"My Lana- you're safe. I'm so glad." Leia was relieved to see Lana again, she had feared the worst after their incident with the Senator.

Sofie and Leia shared a brief, sweet hug. Sofie opened her mouth to explain, but couldn't find the words. She felt like she could only apologize.

"I'm sorry, I feel like I could have helped you more." Sofie apologized to Leia, her face showing her pain. She wanted to express how she felt responsible for some of the things that happened, and the guilt she felt for accepting Ren so quickly after Han's death that had impacted Leia significantly.

Leia's face also showed a complicated sadness, but she smiled at Sofie. She could feel her remorse. They both held their regrets.

"You don't need to say anything. I know." She told Sofie.

Both of their opinions of Ren had been altered. Sofie knew she had been manipulated, but she blamed herself for not distancing herself earlier.

Leia wanted to believe that her son still had good in him. This was difficult to do after losing Han. The destruction of Raddus also gave her the impression that her son was truly ruthless.

The Resistance was now struggling to stay strong. The base on Batuu housed about ten of their members. Leia had the challenge of coordinating important moves from multiple locations across the galaxy.

She prioritized obtaining intelligence. They needed a miracle, and she believed that it was out there.

The Resistance continued their minimal operations for years. Leia knew that the Resistance's current forces were no match against the First Order, she focused instead on creating a secret network of support. This tactic did not prevent many of the large atrocities committed by the First Order, but Leia knew that it was their only option to win. They continued this tactic for 5 years, waiting for Leia's plan to finally fall into place.

Leia asked Sofie and others with low-profiles to prioritize minimizing the damage that would inevitably occur on planets targeted by the First Order. They could find more recruits and help those who needed it on a case-by-case basis.

This arrangement worked out well until Leia informed Sofie of a distress call from a small town in Nexa called Choni. Sofie was excited to help, but the idea of visiting her homeworld again made her nervous. She knew she was unlikely to encounter anybody she knew in a small town, but her gut told her to keep her guard up.

Sofie prepared to leave the Resistance base. Thankfully, the base had been exceptionally quiet since the Resistance had shrunk. Sofie knew that Lana was becoming more capable by the day, but she still doubted the 8-year-old's fighting ability. Despite this, she trained Lana to the best of her ability when they had time.

Before each mission, Sofie reminded herself that this was to create a better future for her and others. Letting Lana grow up in a time of genocide and dictatorship was the last thing she wanted.

"Let's train a bit when I get back," Sofie told Lana before she left, placing a peck on her cheek.

"Okay, I'll practice while you're gone," Lana replied. Sofie grinned, she was so serious sometimes.

Sofie boarded a Resistance ship, flew to Nexa, and landed a distance away from the town for safety.

The area was lush with trees which made it hard to land but aesthetically beautiful.

Sofie double-checked her map and continued once she confirmed that he had her lightsaber and blaster. She also carried a pack of items for those who lived there and needed relief. It also included extra food and weapons if Sofie felt confident in those she encountered.

She had never been to Choni but noted that it required at least 10 hours of traveling time to reach from her hometown, Ambury.

Once Sofie saw the town in the distance through the trees, she could immediately see the distress. Buildings were partially burnt down and First Order stormtroopers roamed instead of the people who lived there. She assumed they had burned some structure to intimidate the population. The few people walking around looked frightened. She was surprised that they hadn't completely pillaged the town and that they appeared to be stationed instead.

It wasn't difficult for Sofie to sneak into the town square from the wooded area, but she was eventually interrogated by a stormtrooper in the town.

"Stop! Show your identification." The stormtrooper stepped in front of her. Sofie sighed and reached into her bag, moving carefully to not expose her weapons. She showed the stormtrooper a fake ID, fabricated to make her appear like an inhabitant of the village.

The stormtrooper looked at her card for what seemed to be an abnormally long time. She seemed to be comparing the picture on the card to Sofie continuously.

"One moment, don't move." The stormtrooper said while turning to the side. She seemed to be communicating with someone else and said something that Sofie couldn't hear.

"Is there a problem?" Sofie asked her. Her stomach turned as her nervousness increased. She always got off scot-free with the altered ID cards. The stormtroopers were usually looking for nothing more than verification. This was especially true in a town like Choni, where they were most likely looking for recruits and resources. They didn't want to disturb the peace completely yet.

"It's just an extra verification process." The stormtrooper told Sofie. Sofie bit her lip anxiously, wondering what they could possibly want from her.

"How long is this going to take?" Sofie asked the stormtrooper.

"Not long at all," a familiar voice said behind her. Sofie turned abruptly, putting her hand on her lightsaber under her cloak.

It was Armitage Hux with a few stormtroopers. Sofie froze. Why was he here? This was low-level work.

"Sofie Hulrose," Hux said while walking towards Sofie, "I've been looking for you." Sofie gripped her lightsaber hilt.

"I don't want to kill you," Hux told Sofie, she looked at him, surprised. He instructed the stormtroopers to leave them and continue patrolling. Hux lowered his voice and guided them next to a wall of one of the buildings.

"I know that it was you who helped kill Supreme Leader Snoke with Ren." Hux started. "I initially wanted to kill you, but then realized we may be able to have an alliance against Ren. I'm sure you're not particularly warm towards him right now." Sofie relaxed, she didn't consider Hux to be a significant threat.

"An alliance? Do you know who I'm working for?" Sofie said to him, laughing slightly.

"This is about my power within the First Order. I've been reduced to filth now that Ren is Supreme Leader. I want him gone." Hux stepped close to Sofie, she tried to step back but had little space behind her.

"And why would I help you?" Sofie scowled at him.

"You don't really have a choice," Hux replied.

"What? And yet you said you didn't want to kill me, which is it?" Sofie asked Hux. He said nothing and stepped back from her.

"Do you really think it's a coincidence that you were sent here, to this village, on your home planet?" Hux began to walk away. A pit appeared in Sofie's stomach.

"Prepare for the younglings to be transported," Hux yelled towards the stormtroopers he had turned away.

Hux's casualness was insulting. He wasn't concerned about Sofie because they had the upper-hand. He didn't need to kill her because he could squash her in numerous other ways. He was taunting her.

Sofie wondered if he was hinting towards what she suspected. She followed him as he walked off.

"Where are they? And what exactly are you wanting from me?" Sofie asked him. He smiled at her.

"That's more like it- don't worry, this will be beneficial for both of us," Hux told her.

Hux took Sofie to a house at the edge of the village.

"This one," He pointed towards the house, "And don't try any funny business." He narrowed his eyes at her. Sofie said nothing and knocked on the door. The door opened slowly and with hesitation, a symptom of First Order occupation.

A girl a few years younger than Sofie peeked through a crack in the door.

"Who is it?" The girl asked. Sofie opened her mouth in shock. She knew her sister's eyes even after the many years they had spent apart.

"Leti, it's me!" Sofie spat out. Leti opened the door carefully and looked at Sofie.

"Sofie?" Leti asked in disbelief, "It's really you?" Sofie nodded, an enormous grin appearing on her face.

They shared a hug and both took a moment to acknowledge how much time had passed. Sofie originally left home for the Jedi Academy when she was 8 and Leti was 5.

"You're a real Jedi now, right?" Leti asked her with childlike excitement. Sofie laughed.

"I'm as real of a Jedi as anyone can be right now," Sofie replied.

Leti was dazed but realized the urgency of their situation.

"Come inside, mom's here too," she told Sofie.

With Sofie distracted, Hux began to round up the stormtroopers currently stationed at the town to begin his final preparations.

"Prepare to round up the younglings," He instructed the stormtroopers, but before he could continue his orders, the same stormtrooper that had interrogated Sofie motioned towards Hux urgently.

"Sir, the Supreme Leader has a message for you." She told him. Hux scowled. Ren always knew the worse times to interrupt him. Hux went to the command ship stationed in the town and connected with Ren via hologram.

"You have a message for me?" Hux said to the hologram, wanting to speak quickly.

"Finish your duties on Choni and burn it down, we don't need to waste time there," Ren said. Hux froze, his plan crumbling in front of him. He resisted shouting at Ren in frustration and anger.

"But Sir-" Hux started, Ren dismissed him.

"That's an order," Ren bellowed. A rage stirred inside Hux as Ren continued.

"Once you are finished at Choni, track Sofie's chronometer to the Resistance and execute our planned final order. We will be finalizing the First Order's place in the galaxy."

Hux gulped, realizing the significance of Ren's orders. Ren planned to finish off the Resistance for good. Hux knew this would be a laughably easy task, as their forces had shrunk significantly.

"And what are you planning to do meanwhile?" Hux asked Ren.

"All you need to know is that I will be gone, but when I return I will be much more powerful," Ren stated to Hux. Hux was silent. He agreed with the Supreme Leader and assured him that his order would be carried out.

Hux ended the hologram conversation. He stood in the command ship in silence, a wave of anger boiling underneath.

He wanted the power and influence that Ren had, but he knew that if Ren made it to where he intended to get his power, he would have no chance of gaining any power over him.

On the other hand, if he coddled Sofie too much, he could inadvertently help the Resistance.

If he attacked the Resistance directly, Sofie may become uncooperative or even dead. He weighed his options carefully.

Hux stepped out of the ship and into the town square. He called over the stormtrooper who had told him about Ren's message. Hux stood in front of the stormtrooper silently for a moment, making her uncomfortable.

"Sir?" The stormtrooper asked, confused by his silence.

Finally, Hux spoke, his mouth dry.

"Burn it down. Everything." He told the stormtrooper.


	11. Chapter 11

A strong smell of smoke entered Sofie’s lungs, noises of distress also seeped into her recently reunited family’s house. 

She felt her heart almost stop. 

Numerous scenarios ran through her mind. Was Hux going to burn down the village with her in it? 

What about her recently found family?

Either way, she knew that she had to act quickly. 

“Leti,” Sofie started, having barely stepped inside the house. “Leti, we need to leave.” 

Leti looked back at her with wide eyes and glanced back into the house where her mother and their other sibling was. Sofie gulped. Was she hesitant?

“I don’t think we’re going to leave.” Leti told Sofie, fear in her eyes. 

Concerned, Sofie tried to step past Leti into the house, but was stopped by someone grabbing her arm behind her.

She looked back and was greeted by a concerned Hux. It stopped Sofie in her tracks, she had never seen him so anxious.

“I’ll make sure they get out of here safe Sofie,” Hux motioned towards the inside of the house and then pulled her outside. 

“Ren just contacted me and instructed me to burn down this village. He also told me that he’s beginning what we have been calling the ‘beginning of the end’.” Hux said in a hushed voice. Sofie looked at him in disbelief. 

“You’re obeying his orders? And what do you mean ‘beginning of the end’?” Sofie asked. 

“ _ Mortis _ ,” Hux said quietly. “Ren must have found the Sith holocron. He wants to use it to harness the power of Mortis.” Sofie saw a wave of rage go across Hux’s face.

“It’s an unfair advantage,” Hux stated. He looked at Sofie intensely but she avoided his eyes. 

“I don’t understand why you’re telling me this. We’re enemies,” Sofie rubbed her arms anxiously. A small part of her gut warned that despite his words, Hux still couldn’t be trusted. 

“I’ve been watching and working with Ren for years. He slips constantly, you’ve seen this too,” Hux said seriously, “He slips because he cares about family too much.” 

Sofie eyed Hux curiously. She reflected on the times she had seen Ren slip. When combined with Hux’s experiences, maybe his words had some truth.

“You need to catch him in a weak moment and finish him off,” Hux said bluntly, “it’s the best thing for both of us, Sofie.” 

Sofie gulped, her heart aching at the thought of taking advantage of someone like that. 

“What if he turns completely to the light?” Sofie asked Hux. 

Hux laughed. 

“He wouldn’t be able to live with himself after a failure like that,” he said seriously. Sofie frowned.

“Please, go stop him,” Hux put his arm out. 

“I need to help my family first,” Sofie said, beginning to walk back into the house that Hux had pulled her out of.

“I said I would take care of it,” Hux said, grabbing her once again. 

“Hux, I appreciate your tip on Ren but this—“ Sofie began to explain her reasoning but was cut off by Hux.

“I’ve. Got. It,” Hux said slowly. Sofie felt a chill run through her body and she froze. 

She felt tears bubbling on her eyelids.

The metaphorical scale holding her own interests and the Resistance’s wobbled as she gazed fondly into the house. 

She shot Hux a disappointed look and then began to run back to her ship, resisting the urge to look back. 

Chaos was increasing in the village by the second. The stormtroopers had already begun to set flames to the buildings and round up residents. 

Sofie tried to keep her head down and focus on herself. Hearing the distress of the residents hurt her and she felt powerless.

Once Sofie was back at her ship, she slumped into the seat from mental exhaustion. She wanted to go back and help everyone, but she knew it wasn’t possible by herself. 

Her eyes caught an unread message received while she was gone. She started it and gasped. It was from Leia, and Sofie had never seen her so distressed. 

“Sofie, don’t come back. They’ve uncovered the base and we’re evacuating as quickly as possible—-but it is not looking good,” Leia emphasized. 

Sofie zoned out as Leia described the dilemma. 

She debated giving into the pull telling her to go back to her family, but she also knew that the Resistance needed all the help it could get. 

If she didn’t try to help her family now, could she trust Hux with them? Should she be proactive to potentially help Lana, Leia and the Resistance?

Sofie bowed her head and rubbed her temples. She felt the tears that she had suppressed earlier reappear in her eyes. 

Suddenly, a breeze moved behind her and a chill ran down her spine. She glanced over her shoulder and nearly fell out of her seat at the sight. 

“Master Luke?” Sofie managed to breathe out. It was him, but apparition-like. “Is it really you?” Sofie asked.

The Force ghost nodded. 

“It’s finally time,” Luke said solemnly. “As Leia said, they’re in trouble. If they don’t get help now, everything you’ve been working for will have been for nothing.” 

“But can they be stopped? We’ve barely been surviving, and now with the First Order knowing our only base, they’ll be able to finish us off for good.” Sofie replied, a sense of dread consuming her. She sighed.

“To make it worse, this ‘random’ mission ended up being the place my family retreated to all those years ago.” Sofie explained to Luke, “I’m an idiot, I just left them with Hux. And…” Emotion overtook her at the thought of  _ anything _ happening to them. 

“Go help them,” Luke said, “I’ll be helping Leia. It’ll be fine.”

Sofie shot him a concerned look. Even if he could handle things, she felt bad not being there. 

But one more knowing look from Luke was all it took for her.

Sofie started the ship and began to execute her brash plan. She landed the ship as closely as possible to her family’s house. Amidst the chaos Hux was nowhere to be found. Sofie saw only her family and their half-burnt down house when she approached. 

Finally, she got a good look at her mother and other younger sister, Elydia. They exchanged a surprised look upon Sofie’s approach. 

“ _ Sofie? Sofiela?”  _ Her mother gasped out. She walked towards Sofie and reached out to her, trying to determine that she was real. 

Sofie’s heart melted, the interaction was much different than the last one in Sofie’s memory. Her mother had only been cold to her after Sofie decided to attend the Jedi Academy. 

“It’s me, I’ve come to take you with me. To a safe place-- with the Resistance.” Sofie talked quickly, knowing that the stormtroopers could do crowd-control at any moment. 

“Wait—- Sofie. The Resistance? That’s just the other side of this dreadful war. We’ll be no better off.” Her mother stated.

Sofie felt antsy and not wanting to get into the politics of the war at such a pressing time. 

“Don’t worry, they’ve treated me well, they’ll treat you well,” Sofie replied, looking down at the items they had pulled out of the house. She began to pick up items in an attempt to get them to hurry. 

“Wait— Sofie, stop.” Her mother looked at her seriously. Sofie froze. Why was she hesitant to leave? 

“This is our home,” her mother started, “and I’ve never lived anywhere but Nexa.” 

Sofie was speechless. Did they not see what was happening around them?

“But you… you could die here,” Sofie squeaked, “I’ve been working for the Resistance and I’ve seen firsthand what they will do to villages. They’ll burn down everything and then take you and... “ Sofie hesitated towards the end of her sentence, taking a lighter approach.

“They aren’t afraid of committing war crimes,” Sofie finished, ready to get down on her knees to beg them to go with her. 

It was only silence from her mother as she looked around the village. Stormtroopers were headed their way. 

Sofie bit her lip. She didn’t understand.

“I’m sorry,” her mother said, a shakiness in her voice. 

Sofie shuddered. What had they told her?

Maybe they had told her the unfortunate truth, that the Resistance was limited in numbers and that the First Order was winning, therefore it was easier to surrender now. 

But they were right. It was the truth.

Sofie cried. She would give anything to stop time for a brief moment.

“There’s just... so much I need to tell you,” Sofie said through tears of frustration. 

It was no use. She pulled all three members of her family into an embrace. 

She wanted to stay longer, but could sense the urgency growing. She thought about telling them more, but didn’t want them to hold regrets if they never met again.

Sofie lifted off in her ship again. She didn’t like the outcome of her decision, but cherished the fact that she wouldn’t have any regrets. 

“ _ They’ll come around again,” _ a voice echoed in her head. Sofie breathed deeply. If there was anyone she had to trust right now, it was definitely Master Luke. 

Sofie flew back to the recently discovered base. As she approached, she could tell that whatever had happened, it had happened quickly and recently. 

The base was deserted and without any clues on the whereabouts of the rest of the Resistance. Sofie tried to get in contact with Leia, then sighed in relief when her call was answered.

“Sofie, we’re all okay and mobile, but I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to come and find us. We need to be on our highest defenses. We can’t risk anyone following you.” Leia stated. 

Sofie gulped. She wasn’t going to argue with Leia. 

“I understand.” Sofie said quietly. They sat in silence for a moment with Sofie eventually speaking.

“I got intel from Chancellor Hux, of all people. He says Ren is going to be travelling to Mortis. He told me because he thinks I can stop him,” Sofie stated. 

“I’m going to go stop him, I think it’s the only way for us to have a chance of winning,” Sofie continued. Leia’s face was thoughtful, but quickly turned to pain. 

“Do you think you’ll come back?” Leia asked her after thinking for some time.

“...I think we have the same opinion,” Sofie replied, a feeling of anxiety creeping into her.

Sofie wanted to tell Leia that she would come back alive, but she knew that she couldn’t be certain of it. She would have to hope that Hux was right, that Ren’s bonds were still his weakness. 

Sofie guessed that Leia knew it too. 

“We will be doing whatever we can to help, we will be with you,” Leia told her. Sofie nodded. 

Unsure of what should happen next, Sofie hesitated ending the call with Leia. 

“I know we’re running short on time, but I want to at least talk to Lana,” Sofie told Leia. 

Leia nodded in understanding and brought Lana into view. Despite her being only a hologram, Sofie was happy to see her.

“Lana! Are you doing ok? Was it chaotic leaving the base?” Sofie asked her in an enthusiastic tone. Lana shook her head.

“We left but I wasn’t scared, I helped Nana.” Lana said. Sofie smiled, trying to stay serious. 

“That’s good, I’m proud of you.” Sofie said, and then bit her lip, not wanting to continue. “You’re going to stay brave, right?” 

Lana smiled, breaking from her serious demeanor. 

“Of course! I’ll keep helping,” Lana said confidently. 

“Ok, you’ll have to keep helping since, Lana,” Sofie took a deep breath, “I’m going somewhere important, but I might not come back.” 

Lana’s face conveyed confusion. “Somewhere far?” she asked. 

“It is far, but it’s also dangerous,” Sofie replied.

“Then why are you going?” Lana asked again. 

The question made Sofie reflect as well. She had the choice of not confronting Ren. She could pretend to know nothing of Ren’s plan. 

But she also knew that the resulting future that they would be living in could potentially be worse than death. 

“It’s important. And I know you’re not scared now but if I don’t go you might become scared. Nana and everyone at the base might too,” Sofie told her daughter. 

It was hard to gauge Lana’s reaction, and Sofie began feeling nervous that she had said the wrong things. Should she have been more honest? 

“Lana, I know it might seem confusing. But no matter what, remember that I love you and remember that you’re my favorite Jedi.” 

Lana was quiet, but eventually replied.

“I love you too.” 

* * *

After talking with Lana and Leia Sofie spent a few moments alone in her ship. She mainly felt numb, but could sense a sadness below it. 

She walked the ruins of the old base to clear her head before going to Mortis, but eventually sat outside. There, she finally let herself feel everything that had come to her in the ship.

Should she have fought harder to see Lana before walking into what could potentially be her death? The thought of the last interaction with her being via hologram didn’t sit well.

She thought about the things she still wanted to do. There were so many people she still needed to talk to. 

Sofie sat and brought her knees to her chest, digging her feet into the moss. She closed her eyes for a brief moment and placed her mind into the past.

She imagined herself at the Jedi Academy. Surrounded by the lush hills she had gotten to know well. Times when her only concerns were impressing and tiptoeing simultaneously around Master Luke.

She pictured her and Ben spending countless nights enjoying each other’s company. Talking about Master Luke and the other students. Sharing their grievances about an unlimited number of things. 

She kept that version of Ben in her mind. 

While daydreaming, an unsolicited conversation entered Sofie’s mind.

“ _ I wish you could be saved, Ben.”  _ Sofie opened her eyes quickly at the sound of Luke’s voice. She looked around the base but saw nothing. 

“ _ Leave me alone, get out of my head.”  _ A voice replied. Ben’s.

_ He must be getting closer,  _ Sofie thought. She stood up and began to walk back to her ship. 

She had initially left the ship with concern, but now it was replaced with trust. 

Sofie sat in her ship and relaxed. She realized she was missing an essential piece. How was she going to get to Mortis?

She closed her eyes and reached out to Luke with the Force, hoping to intercept him again. 

“Luke, I need to know how to get to Mortis to see Ren.” Sofie said out loud. 

“ _ You’re going to listen to Hux then? _ ” Luke’s voice replied. 

Sofie opened her eyes, slightly in confusion. 

“Of course, we can’t let Ren get its power- we’d have no way to defeat the First Order,” she replied.

“Assuming you  _ can _ stop him—and want to,” Luke said. Sofie frowned. 

“I know. I understand what could happen, but I think it’s worth it,” Sofie said, reflecting on her conversation with Leia. 

“In that case, you’ll find that it’s pretty easy to get here,” Luke told her. 

He described Mortis, and reminded her that it was connected to the Force, so as long as she relied on her senses, she could find it easily. She would need to go to the Chrelythiumn System, where the planet would be enclosed. 

Luke also warned her that the planet would test her. Immense power isn’t given away easily. 

Sophie wondered what the planet could throw at her that was unfamiliar. 

* * *

Ren was tired, finding an untapped power was no easy task.

He had initially travelled to find the Sith wayfinder, and eventually made his way to Remnicore to train under a Dark Lord. Remnicore was dreary and a swath of endless flat land. One of its many strange inhabitants was a dark lord, an alien creature made up of many arms and eyes. 

The Dark Lord, Tor Valum was hesitant to train Ren when he arrived, but made an exception. He believed that Ren could be different, that he had the potential to finally gain the power of Mortis. Maybe he was worthy.

Ren gladly accepted, fueled by the thought of gaining a power not achieved by any Sith or Jedi before him.

“There were many before you who were supposed to gain Mortis’ power,” Tor Valum told him, sensing the conflict inside Ren as well. 

“I’m not them. Train me, and I will be the one to release the power of Mortis,” Ren snapped at Tor Valum. 

“That conflict inside you— you don’t think it will hold you back?” Tor Valum replied. 

“That conflict is motivation and anger. I have plenty of it to finish you off, too. I’ve destroyed countless planets and executed plenty of deserters,” Ren described the ruthlessness he had developed during the war. Genocide was easy for him— executing Tor Valum would be easier.

“No need for threats, I’ll teach you. My question was from curiosity,” Tor Valum replied. 

Ren reflected on his conflict but quickly turned it into anger. Anger at himself and all involved.

“I made mistakes. But they can be erased. The people I was supposed to love ended up never understanding me,” Ren said. 

Tor Valum began his training without any further questions.

* * *

Time moved differently on the planet, and what felt like weeks were days on the outside. Ren learned from Tor Valum exceptionally quickly. 

He taught him Sith history and instructed him on forbidden technqiues.

Finally, he taught him the skill needed to harness the power of Mortis: life-force draining. 

As Ren trained, the conflict in him grew. He had expected more Sith training to result in a defeat of himself to the dark, but it only resulted in more torment. 

He had caused an unimaginable amount of destruction and loss of life. A fact that was on his mind while he trained. He suspected the Jedi brainwashing.

But a simpler emotion also gnawed at him. Acceptance. 

He truly had no one but himself. 

He thought back to the times he had almost convinced Sofie of his position and her brief flirt with working on a First Order ship.

Her understanding of his conflict was seen by others as a fault. 

But by her: human.

“You’re weaker,” Tor Valum told Ren towards the end of the training. 

Ren scowled. In a fit of anger, he demonstrated his new Force-draining skills on a tree barely surviving on the planet. 

“Someone who is weak couldn’t do that,” Ren stated. “Now tell me where Mortis is. I’m ready to drain it’s power.”

Tor Valum initially rejected him. 

“There’s one more place you need to go,” he said. 

He led Ren to a cave, telling him that he had to go in blind. Whatever was inside the cave was not for Tor Valum to know. 

Ren walked carefully into the cave, unable to see anything. The cave was pitch-black.

He eventually got to a section where his footsteps echoed off the walls. His eyes strained in the dark and his blood pressure rose, what was waiting for him?

A breeze hit him. Someone, or  _ something _ was there. Ren ignited his lightsaber, ready to attack.

The light of Ren’s lightsaber danced around the cavern, slightly reflecting off the figure he had sensed. 

Suddenly, more light filled into the cavern. Ren watched as the figure ignited a red lightsaber. 

The figure was barely visible, but Ren felt his breath catch in his chest. His body froze with fear. 

His eyes barely made out the outline of a mask he had gazed upon closely for years. 

“ _ Grandfather,”  _ Ren said under his breath. Mechanical breathing filled the chamber around them. In half a second their lightsabers were moving. 

Ren fought methodically, dazed by the lights moving around them. Still, he felt a sense of pride. Secretly proud that he had managed to finally make civilization dread the name Kylo Ren more than Darth Vader.

The intense lightsaber battle continued, but Ren noticed himself slipping as the fight dragged on. Reputation couldn’t replace pure skill. 

Then, the fight ended abruptly with Ren trapped. His grandfather’s saber ended up directly in front of his face and threatened to singe him. 

Ren’s breathing hitched. He tried to remind himself that he was an illusion. That he couldn’t  _ actually _ kill him.

“ _ You…”  _ Darth Vader bellowed, “ _ you are not a Skywalker.”  _

Ren felt his anger rising. He had already won, he didn’t need to taunt him further.

“... _ And you are not a Sith,”  _ Vader continued, moving his lightsaber away from Ren.

“You’re right, I’m not a Sith or a Jedi. I’m about to gain power that will make me something more powerful than either of those pathetic titles,” Ren spat, “I’ll do more than finish what you started. I’m beyond that now.”

Vader said nothing, his mechanical breathing filled the cavern. He stepped backwards from Ren slowly and deactivated his lightsaber. Darkness filled the cavern again. 

“ _ You came to me for our shared vengeance at your best.” _

Vader’s voice boomed in the chamber. The darkness began to envelope him.

“ _ But Ben… do not come back to me with our shared regrets when you’re at your worst _ .” 

Ren lunged his lightsaber towards the darkness. There was nothing.

He had lost.

* * *

“That— that was a load of  _ bullshit.”  _ Ren cursed at Tor Valum. 

“That was your equal vengeance.” Tor Valum replied to him, unfazed. Ren grasped Tor Valum with the Force, gripping his entire being and extending beyond the physical.

“ _ I don’t want to hear about FUCKING vengeance. Tell me where Mortis is before I kill you!”  _ Ren boomed, Tor Valum barely holding onto his life. 

“No— you’re weak. You lost against Darth Vader.  _ You’re unworthy!”  _ Tor Valum exclaimed. 

Unsatisfied, Ren took the matters into his own hands. He concentrated his energy and probed into Tor Valum’s mind for the answer. Tor Valum yelled in agony, begging Ren to let him go. 

Ren, uncaring, found the information and let Tor Valum go. 

“What else do I need to know before I go?” Ren asked.

“Nothing,” Tor Valum stated.

“Good,” Ren replied.

Without a second thought, Ren drained his life from him. He watched as he shriveled up, becoming completely lifeless.

* * *

Ren pressed on, adrenaline and anger fueling him. He didn’t stop for a single moment of rest while traveling to Mortis.

It was right there, within his grasp. He could literally feel it and sense Mortis’ power. 

Ren entered the monolith and was greeted by the planet. He felt the planet drawing him in. The Force tugged on him.

He wasted no time getting to the temple. He couldn’t resist the pull now.

Ren stumbled hastily out of his ship. His eyes focused towards the back of the temple. His legs told him to run. 

Then, his mind told him to wait. 

Initially, he assumed his ears were broken as he heard another ship landing behind him. 

He retraced his steps and ignited his lightsaber. His eyes were eagerly fixed on the ship. 

Before the figure emerged, he knew. If there was anyone they assumed could stop him, it was her.

He cursed Hux under his breath. He should have gotten rid of him, that snake. Why did he promote him?

Sofie emerged from the ship. She looked towards Ren and they shared a silent look.

“Hux sent you, didn’t he?” Ren yelled towards her, deactivating his lightsaber momentarily. 

“Actually, the entire galaxy sent me,” Sofie yelled back. Her body tensed as Ren began to close the distance between them. 

“You’re too late. I’ve already gotten the training I need to strip Mortis of its power for good.” Ren told her, “If you leave now and yield, I’ll consider sparing you.” 

Sofie scowled. “How kind of you.” She said back sarcastically. 

“But all jokes aside, I won’t be yielding,” Sofie said while igniting her own lightsaber. Ren reacted quickly and reignited his as well.

“I refuse to let our daughter grow up in your dictatorship,” Sofie fumed. The constant genocide and hurt had to stop. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure neither of you have to live to see it,” Ren replied. 

Sofie gladly swung first.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: a bit of graphic violence/descriptions of blood in this chapter

The air was tense as the two former co-students began their duel. 

Sofie could sense Ren’s desperation as they fought. The only thing standing between him and Mortis’ power was her. 

Sofie blocked attack after attack, trying to fit an offensive move in. Despite the training with the Resistance, unsurprisingly, the Supreme Leader of the First Order was a difficult opponent. 

They both swung to kill now--a stark difference from their previous fights. 

They went back and forth for minutes on end and could sense fatigue sneaking up onto them both. Fighting to the death resulted in aggressive strikes and extensive defensive maneuvers. 

Finally, after a particularly long back-and-forth, they both separated to breathe. The air was filled with their deep, heavy breaths. 

“You know, you could just drain my life-Force energy,” Sofie said between breaths. 

“I’m not a coward, I need to prove that I can beat you fairly because I’m better than you,” Ren replied. 

“I’d challenge that part about being a coward,” Sofie asserted, “destroying planets and civilizations is a pretty cowardly thing.” 

Their chat was short, and their fight continued as emotions rose. 

Sofie struggled to dodge Ren’s moves. She could feel her muscles becoming weaker and knew Ren was trying to take advantage of this.

Suddenly, Ren began to run towards the back of the temple. Confused, Sofie ran after him, jumping broadly up the steps. She considered trying to throw her lightsaber, but the thought was stopped short when Ren turned towards her. 

Ren swung upwards continuously while taking broad steps towards Sofie. Sofie stepped back defensively, but struggled to focus on avoiding the steps. 

Ren swung again, but this time Sofie barely moved in time and missed blocking him. Ren’s saber grazed her, slicing diagonally through her face. Ren watched wide-eyed as his lightsaber effortlessly went through her jaw, nose, and eye, melting anything in its way.

Sofie screamed from the pain, stumbled backwards and fell. She felt her body go into a shock and gingerly put her hands up to her face, trying to comprehend what had just happened. 

“Ben--oh my god,  _ Ben! _ ” Sofie screamed at him, realizing he had sliced through her nose and rendered her left eye useless. Doing her best to not hyperventilate, she tried to wipe away the blood that had appeared, but instead quickly ripped part of her clothing to press against her wound. The heat of the lightsaber had cauterized her wound slightly, but blood still managed to escape.

Ren stared at her wound in disbelief. He opened his mouth to say something but struggled to find the words. 

“Y-you... why didn’t you move out of the way?” Ren stammered. 

“Shut the  _ fuck _ up,” Sofie said through a rough throat and gritted teeth. The pain intensed in her face as her body began to come out of shock. She held the cloth from her pants firmly against her face. She was losing blood, and the faintness creeping into her head confirmed that. 

A tear dropped from Sofie’s right eye and she sobbed. Blood streamed down her face and down the back of her throat uncomfortably. 

Although she couldn’t move her mouth, she used what energy she had to speak into Ben’s head. 

_“I_ hate _you,_ _Ben. I hope you know that. You’re heartless and you’ve ruined so many lives. I’m sure your soldiers have brutalized countless people like you did to me. All I ever wanted to do was help you,_ ” Sofie lamented. Ren didn’t respond, instead, he deactivated his lightsaber and began to walk towards the back of the temple. 

_ “You had so many grievances about your father--and yet you ended up a worse one!” _ Sofie yelled in his head as he walked away. 

Ren focused on the half-pillars towards the back of the open-air temple and walked faster. 

He walked quickly up the steps but froze when an apparition appeared in front of him. Luke. Still trying to sabotage him.

“You’re just going to leave her there to die? Pathetic. The Skywalker name has truly been tarnished,” Luke snapped, “you still have the power to stop this, Ben.” 

“I told you to leave me alone,” Ren growled and continued walking past Luke’s Force ghost. 

Luke’s ghost looked sadly towards Sofie’s body, on the ground and struggling to keep blood.

“ _ Sofie,”  _ Luke tried to reach her via the Force, “ _ you can’t give up yet.”  _

He reached towards Leia as well, asking her from afar for any kind of help she could give. 

“ _ Sofie,”  _ multiple voices echoed through Sofie’s head. She slowly opened her eye and observed the grey sky above. 

“ _ Please, I know you’re in pain but the galaxy is with you, we need you,”  _ Leia’s voice said in Sofie’s head. 

Sofie did her best to sit up. The pain was intense, but numbing as time went on.

She ripped the other leg of her pant leg and tied it tightly over her wound to stop the bleeding. 

Her body shook as it tried to stand up. 

“ _ Take our strength,”  _ Leia’s voice said again. A chill ran through Sofie’s body. Her legs almost had a mind of their own as they began to walk towards Ren again.

Her stumbling turned into a walk, which turned into running.

Sofie used the last of her energy getting to Ren, who was now approaching the half-pillar. 

Ren stopped in front of the half-pillar which held a small stone box. 

_ Finally, _ Ren said to himself,  _ this is it. _

He removed the top. 

He froze.

The box was empty. Ren stood in silence. 

“No… it’s empty?” He said to himself. He wondered how he was supposed to harness Mortis’ power. Where were the hints?

Ren threw the box to the ground, shattering it. In the same moment, Sofie caught up. 

An unprepared Ren tried to turn, but Sofie knew her time was limited. As soon as she got close enough to Ren, she swung her lightsaber towards him. 

Sofie missed everything but his palm. 

Ren watched as Sofie’s lightsaber sliced through the middle of his palm. 

“ _ Fuck!”  _ He cursed out loud, cradling his injured, cauterized hand. His vision became blurry and he barely saw Sofie also fall near his feet. She had truly used every ounce of energy left, but only managed to injure Ren. 

“ _ It’s finished, Ben,”  _ a familiar voice entered Ren’s mind.

His mother. 

He closed his eyes, embracing the darkness. His pain slowly faded away. It was replaced by something different. 

He opened his eyes again. Had he died? Entered into a coma? Was he dreaming?

Ren’s eyes slowly opened. He stared at the scene in front of him as his eyes focused. 

Incomprehensible.

He stood in front of his much younger mother and father cradling a baby. They looked at the child with awe and wonder, smiling ear to ear. 

Ben rubbed his eyes, bewildered by what was happening. Was this the Force? He looked down at his injured palm. His injury had mysteriously disappeared. 

“ _ Ben, _ ” his father said out loud, “ _ he’ll be my little fighter.”  _

Ren rubbed his head, feeling a headache coming on. 

A tension gripped his entire body, but he also felt a softness in his chest.

He was connected to them; their thoughts and feelings.

In fact, he felt  _ exactly _ what they felt.

He felt pride, hope, and love. He could sense their devotion, their willingness to sacrifice anything for the baby that slept in their arms.

Ren blinked and was greeted with a new scene.

It was him playing with his father and pretending to fly a ship. His father pretended to crash the “ship” and Ben squealed with joy as his father picked him up and “flew” him through the air. 

Ren closed his eyes and tried to push away the approaching emotion. 

Despite his resistance, he felt the joy of his father and his regrets. His fleeting hope of spending more time with Ben. 

He felt the weight of his parent’s love. The happiness they felt from raising a son, and the joy of seeing their child learn. It also came with sadness. Their sadness of being occupied with work and other duties at the expense of time with him. 

Blink.

Now he was at the Jedi Academy. He gasped as his mind placed him in the middle of the sparring field at the academy. It was vivid, and so  _ real.  _

He walked carefully through the field, admiring the buildings and landscape. It felt as if he was home. The buildings felt familiar and safe.

Ren walked into the main building with the library and offices. The door to Luke’s office was open. 

He wandered towards it and looked inside. Luke was busy scribing. 

Ren sensed his pride as he made notes on each student, noting improvements, shortcomings and more.

His uncle loved him. He was impressed by Ben and noted that he was the best student there. 

Ren exited the office and leaned against the wall. His uncle’s desperation to help him filled his mind. He wanted nothing more than to keep him from the dark. 

His uncle’s thoughts went through his head. 

“ _ I have to act, or they will hurt him. They will use him and abuse him.”  _

Blink again.

His mind placed him in his old hut at nighttime. He observed him and Sofie’s younger selves sitting on the bed, chatting. Ben leaned up against the wall next to his bed as Sofie lazily laid back in his lap. 

Ren looked around the room while listening to the conversation. His desk was decorated with his old possessions. The objects on his desk were no longer relatable.

“...And I think Voe just needs some confidence, because she’s one of the best students, even Master Luke thinks so,” young Sofie explained. Ren must have caught the tail-end of their conversation. 

Past Ben and Sofie sat in silence for a few moments.

“When did you know you liked me, Sofie?” Ben asked her. Ren paced around the hut, looking around while the conversation happened.

“Mmm, I think I knew you were a good person when you came back from that mission with Master Luke, trying to be kind to me. But giving me the ring and pendant definitely gave me a soft spot for you, _ ” _ Sofie recalled. Ren looked towards the two of them and read the expressions on their faces. 

His younger self only beamed euphoria. The awkwardness of giving a gift and being forward had paid itself off. 

Ren smirked slightly, reflecting on the naivety of his past self. He had been so focused on his life at the Jedi Academy and forgotten about the outside world back then. It had created an ignorant bliss. 

Ren sat in the desk chair and observed the vision as he felt a tiredness come over him. He closed his eyes briefly.

When he opened his eyes again, he was still in the hut, but a younger Ben and Sofie had been replaced by a different figure.

His father. 

Upon realizing who it was, Ren stood up quickly and tried to leave the hut. The door was locked.

_ Unrealistic _ , Ren thought _ , my hut never had a lock _ .

“Hey kid,” the vision of Han said to Ren. Ren nearly jumped out of his skin. None of the other visions could communicate with him. He had simply been a witness previously. 

Ren cheated his body towards his father but didn’t look at him directly. 

“What is it?” He asked his father.

“Come sit down first,” Han continued and motioned to the desk chair. 

Ren considered finding another way to escape the dreamscape that he was stuck in, but instead sat back down in the desk chair. 

Ren sat and faced his father. He felt himself crumble upon meeting his eyes. His expression was soft and understanding. 

“So, how’s it going?” Han asked him. 

Ren struggled to find the words describing his dreamstate experience. 

“Why are you... forcing me to relive my past?” Ren asked. Han blinked at him.

“This isn’t the work of anyone else. It’s you.” Han replied. Ren frowned. “ _ Your _ mind made this. This is what’s important to you.”

“Even if it is mine, what’s the point? I trained under Tor Valum, made it to Mortis, and--” Ren paused briefly, reflecting on Sofie.

“Sofie, I injured her--badly,” Ren stuttered, “soon she’ll become just a memory.” 

Ren looked past Han and at the bed. He blinked slowly, realizing the significance of his innocent, first-love. 

He would never feel anything similar after leaving the academy.

“Luke always said I was the best student at the academy,” Ren recounted, “he said that I was almost the perfect student--  _ almost _ .”

“Then I made the mistake that a perfect student would never make, and after that it was too late to redeem myself,” Ren continued and looked towards the ground. 

Han put a comforting hand on his son’s knee.

“It’s not too late. You can still help Sofie, the Resistance, and your daughter, too,” Han told him. 

“But I don’t deserve--” Ren started, Han squeezed his knee and put his hand up. 

“Ben, this isn’t about deserving, it’s about doing the right thing,” Han told him.

Ben sniffled slightly and rubbed his eyes. 

“Dad, I--” 

Before Ben could finish his sentence, his father’s figure vanished and the hut around him began to fade into a darkness.

He closed his eyes, wishing silently that he could be sent back to finish things.

But when he opened his eyes again, he wasn’t back at the temple. A new darkness had surrounded him. An unrecognizable figure stood in front of him. 

“I thought I told you not to come back to me with your regrets,” the figure said. Ben tried to identify the figure, but he was not recognizable.

“Who are you?” Ben asked. The man slowly came towards Ben. Something about the man felt familiar, but he couldn’t place it.

“I’m the one who tried to warn you about your actions and the pain it would cause. I made the same mistakes,” the man continued. Ben looked at him curiously.

“You’re... Vader? Grandfather?” Ben asked.

“Yes, but Anakin Skywalker,” Anakin replied. 

“I didn’t choose to come into... whatever this is,” Ben motioned towards the darkness. 

“You didn’t, your mother did. She sacrificed everything to give you this,” Anakin explained. 

A realization dawned on Ben. He felt his eyes moisten and his throat begin to close. 

“I could’ve stopped it,” Ben blurted out.

“You’ve already stopped more than you know,” Anakin replied. 

Ben closed his eyes and felt silent tears rolling down his cheeks.

He vowed not to open them until he was back at the temple. 

* * *

Sofie moved her hands through tall grass. A breeze blew over her as she slowly opened her eyes. 

Once she realized the absurdity of the situation she sat up quickly from the grass and immediately felt her face. It was healed.

“I’m dead,” she squeaked, “I failed.”

She looked around the field she had been laying in and recognized the surroundings. The Jedi Academy. This was supposed to be her perfect afterlife?

“It’s not,” a familiar voice said behind her. Sofie turned around and stood up.

“Master Luke--” Sofie tried to ask questions, but Luke stopped her short.

“Wait, Sofie. You need to make a decision. Yes, you passed. But not completely yet. You can choose to go back, or you can stay here.”

Sofie lowered her brows.

“Why would I want to go back? I was dying and Ren was more than happy to let me die. It’ll just be more unnecessary moments of pain.” Sofie recalled. 

“You might be surprised by what happens if you go back, but I can’t promise you won’t come back here,” Luke explained.

Sofie looked towards the familiar academy buildings and then gingerly touched her nose.

“He changed, didn’t he?” Sofie said. She had mixed feelings. She had tried many times to get Ren to see her perspective and show an ounce of empathy for her and Lana, but they had always failed. 

She wanted them to fight for the same cause, but it was hard to put aside her pain. 

Despite this, her pain had always been secondary to her hope of his redemption.

Sofie hugged Luke tightly.

“I’m going back.”

* * *

Silence permeated the air at the temple. Sofie and Ben both laid on the temple floor, motionless.

Ben’s eyes slowly fluttered open. His eyes adjusted to the ground and he searched for Sofie.

His good hand lifted him up. Sofie laid motionless about eight feet away from him. He scrambled over to her and tenderly touched her arm.

He said nothing and gently squeezed her arm. Warm tears rolled down his face as his breathing became shallow.

As Sofie came to again, she felt his hand. Her eye opened to him leaning over her. Moisture came to her eye as well.

“Why are you crying?” She croaked. Ben jumped.

He looked at her with amazement. How was she still alive? His mouth was agape.

“You’re still--” Ben stopped himself and frowned. 

“I want to apologize but I know it will never be enough,” Ben sighed.

“Maybe, but I still want to hear it,” Sofie reassured him.

Ben stammered and didn’t know where to start. 

“I-- there’s too many things,” Ben looked over Sofie worriedly, wondering how much time he had. 

“You believed in me and listened to me when everybody else was afraid of me. You always had hope for me,” Ben explained, “no matter how many times I wronged you, you tried again.” 

Sofie smirked slightly. “And I was right-- somewhat.” 

Ben meekly smiled back at her, but Sofie then watched as his face turned serious.

“Sofie, I think I can save you still,” Ben stated, Sofie scowled. 

“Look at me, Ben,” she sighed. She was teetering on the brink of death and only able to talk with Ben because Luke sent her back  _ from _ death.

“Dark transfer,” Ben muttered, “it’s a dark side ability but if it can save you, I’m willing to try. Tor Valum taught it to me along with what I was going to use to take over Mortis. The Force is so strong here, it has to work..” 

Sofie sighed. Could there be side effects that were worse than death? Would it cause Ben to turn again?

“I’m stronger now, don’t worry,” Ben told her and grabbed her hand, holding it tightly. 

Sofie squeezed back and closed her eye. She felt a strong energy enter her body. She felt small amounts of pain as Ben Force transferred his energy.

Sofie felt the energy gradually stop. She opened both of her eyes and felt her face. She was completely healed. 

She sat up abruptly and looked at him in awe.

“Ben, this is amazing,” Sofie started to praise him but her face turned solemn.

“But Ben... if you go back, I don’t think people will celebrate. They’ll throw you in prison and probably find every excuse to execute you,” Sofie said. 

“I know,” Ben replied, “it’s just justice.” 

Ben had done so many atrocities that it was probably morally wrong for Sofie to even take his help or talk to him. Despite the fact that she could tell that him and Kylo Ren were fundamentally different, they were still Ben’s mistakes. 

“I want to go back to try and fix what can be fixed,” Ben explained, “I want to be there for you and Lana too, if they will let me.”

Sofie eyed his injury, nothing that they should be getting him help, but she still took a moment to hug him tightly.

“I never gave up my hope for you,” she said quietly into his shoulder. Gentle tears rolled down both of their faces as Ben held her tightly back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well, we are almost to the end c: next chapter will be more of an epilogue
> 
> if you've come this far and are reading this, thank you so much! i appreciate you taking the time to read my writing. 
> 
> xx see you next time


	13. Chapter 13

Sofie and Ben’s hope on Mortis was quickly extinguished when they left the planet. They were reminded of the reality of the outside world. The First Order was eventually defeated by the Resistance but they would still need to be officially disbanded. Although the forces led by Hux initially resisted, Ben’s new training was hard to defeat.

Ben and Sofie resolved to believe that a neutral position in the Force could be pursued. They both believed that if Ben had been led correctly, he would have never been manipulated by Snoke. 

Despite Ben Solo’s offerings for reparation, the galaxy seemed to agree that Kylo Ren needed to properly and fairly pay for his crimes. The only challenge was balancing punishment and his ability to be an ally when convenient. 

Eventually, an agreement was made. A Republic of Free Planets was reinstated as the government. Ben would assist in any military-related requests without question--even dangerous ones. He would be required to stay in a stationary, guarded place. Visitors and monitored visits outside were permitted, but limited. 

The restrictions were uncomfortable, but Ben knew that it was due justice. 

The universe gave him a punishment of its own when he returned to a galaxy without his mother. 

Ben and Sofie were both devastated, but it was Lana who seemed to be the most impacted. Her grandmother who had essentially raised her alongside her own mother was now suddenly gone. 

Although he was no replacement for his mother, Ben took the opportunity to try and be the father that he needed when he was Lana’s age. 

Initially, Sofie and Ben’s relationship was different. They both cared for each other deeply, but once the euphoria on Mortis passed, reality began to set-in.

Resentment and hurt had been building for years between them and their relationship was far from perfect. Their relationship began as co-parents, not lovers— or even friends. Fights and long conversations were frequent and necessary.

Their biggest fight happened just a couple of weeks after the events on Mortis. The culmination of events had caused tension between them to increase. 

Sofie was glad to see the Ben she knew again, but she also found herself struggling to separate Kylo Ren from Ben now. It was a natural reaction, but she found herself suppressing the feeling instead of confronting it. 

She kept herself emotionally guarded, that is, until she had finished visiting with Ben in the military center he was being temporarily kept in while the new Republic decided the details of his “release”. 

The visit was primarily to discuss what Ben knew currently, and their plans for if he was ever released. 

“How’s Lana?” Ben asked towards the end of their conversation. Sofie smiled slightly, she liked it when he asked about her. 

“We’re making sure she’s ok, but I think like all of us, she doesn’t like the changes. I can’t imagine what it’s like to have war as your ‘normal’,” Sofie said nervously. 

“Well, there’s a new normal now. The most we can do is just try to move on,” Ben replied. Sofie frowned, his words had rubbed her the wrong way, but she couldn’t place why. She tried to form the words to reply to him but found it difficult.

The problem wasn’t with Ben not apologizing. It felt like he was apologizing every day. 

But no matter how much he apologized, Sofie struggled to separate the Ben she knew now from Kylo Ren. 

Sofie and Ben shared a long silence, until Ben finally spoke up.

“Are you okay, Sofie?” He asked her which caused Sofie to snap back to reality. 

“This isn’t right,” Sofie muttered under her breath. Ben eyed her in confusion and waited for her to elaborate. Instead, Sofie stood up quickly. 

“I just-- I know you’re sorry and I can see that, I know you’re different now, but honestly all I can think of when I look at you is Kylo Ren,” Sofie stumbled over her words and hesitated leaving. 

Sofie could feel the hurt in her own heart when she said this, but also saw a variety of emotions on Ben’s face when she said this. He seemed to be thinking about what he should say next. 

“I can’t change the past Sofie,” Ben finally replied, watching Sofie nervously stand next to the table they had both been sitting at. 

“Of course, I know that. But surely you understand why I’d be hesitant to get involved again with a man who was responsible for the deaths of his own parents, an ex-dictator, helped with the deaths of countless people, and was involved in hurting me!” Sofie exclaimed, any filter she had was suddenly gone, and while the conversation was painful, she knew it was something they were eventually going to face. 

Ben hung his head, sensing this wasn’t something he couldn’t just brush off. Maybe she was justified in not wanting to cooperate with him. 

But, underneath everything, he knew they both saw the wide-eyed, innocent Ben. He reasoned that if Sofie hadn’t, she would have stopped trying to help him a long time ago. 

He knew. 

There was another painful silence. 

“You’re right,” Ben started, “all those things-- you shouldn’t give me the time of day. If you really want to go on separate paths, I won’t argue with you.” 

Sofie bit her lip and crossed her arms in discomfort. She eyed the discouraged Ben. 

She felt like they had been playing a seemingly endless game for years. Ben would run and she would chase him. He would turn his back on her, and she would try again. 

Despite all that back and forth, she had never stopped to think about what she would do when he finally stopped running and turned to face her once and for all.

Sofie frowned and sniffled. Was it wrong of her to give him another chance? What’s the worst thing someone can even do, before they don’t deserve that second chance?

Sofie slumped back into the chair but didn’t look at Ben. She pondered whether or not she had the ability to change her perception. She also questioned why she had difficulty seeing the Ben she once knew since she had chased that vision for years. 

Ben offered his hand out on the table. 

“Take as much time as you need for yourself,” Ben began, “but will you promise me one thing?” He asked Sofie. Sofie looked at him with interest. “Please let me see Lana.” 

Sofie took his offered hand and squeezed it. 

The offered hand gave Sofie the space she needed to accept Ben again. Time would gradually heal the wound and let Ben prove himself.

Just two years in, the new Republic of Free Planets had decided that the political climate was finally stable. Ben and Sofie would disagree, but Ben wouldn’t argue with his conditional release. 

Ben could finally travel freely. He had paid some of his debts in life-threatening battles and still needed to come at their request, but he was _free._ He had paid a price physically and mentally, evident from his struggles to accept his mother’s passing and from losing part of his hand while on Mortis.

While Ben did his service, Sofie kept Lana nearby and dreamed new hopes of her own. 

After the disintegration of the First Order, Sofie made an objective of finding her family who she had briefly met while on Nexa. Finding them took some searching, but Sofie found out that they had moved to another small village in Nexa. 

Sofie visited them frequently and felt a weight lift off her shoulders when her family met Lana. 

Sofie was occupied frequently with Lana and had a plethora of tasks. Despite an infinite number of tasks, Sofie had a vivid dream one night that would cement her future. She wasted no time in telling Ben about it.

“Ben, it felt so real. And the _energy_ , I felt so much hope. The students there felt so much hope,” Sofie told Ben one day while he prepared to leave his government-provided quarters. 

“Maybe it’s my nostalgia, or maybe it’s actually something your mom and uncle wanted us to do. Not only that, but we could train Lana there and she could bond with other students,” Sofie continued and gushed with joy at her dream.

“You don’t think we’d be lousy teachers?” Ben asked, closing a few of the bags Sofie had let him borrow.

“I think it might have a steep learning curve, but I think we’ve already done well with Lana,” Sofie replied. 

Ben thought about Sofie’s revelation. She wanted to start the Jedi Academy over and do it their own way. Luke’s Jedi Academy did have a soft spot in Ben’s heart, but the way he left haunted him every day. 

“Then… do you think _I’d_ be a lousy teacher?” Ben reiterated. Sofie sighed slightly, realizing Ben’s feelings. She moved next to him squeezed his arm.

“You’d be the best teacher because of your experiences, no other teacher can parallel your experiences,” Sofie said, giving Ben a quick, reassuring hug. 

The idea grew from this small seed, and Sofie and Ben eventually found themselves stepping into the same planet with the Jedi Academy that they had met on. They both knew that there was something special about the landscape the original Jedi Academy inhabited. 

Ben privately thanked his lineage as the new academy was being built. He knew that they were the reason for his resources. 

In due time, the academy was built. Ben and Sofie had studied intensely to make sure they were adequate teachers. They prepared Lana mentally for the big change that was coming and continued to train her as well. 

Finally, on a breezy spring day, the new academy was ready. It operated under a new name: Skywalker Academy. Ben and Sofie hoped they could honor Luke and Leia vía the name. 

At first, the academy had one student, Ailana Solo. Their difficulties in keeping the school operational would only increase from here. 

Gradually, after scoping out eligible students, the academy grew. Force-sensitive children were invited from across the galaxy. 

Before Sofie and Ben knew it, they had about a dozen students. The academy eventually developed into something both of them felt proud to call their own. 

“Sofie, can you come with me to see something?” Ben asked Sofie one afternoon in their shared ‘teacher hut’ before the sun began to set. Sofie gave him an inquisitive look but agreed to walk with him. 

They walked together up the hill that laid North of the academy. Both of them admired the sun that had started to set and rested atop the horizon. 

They chatted casually while Ben led them towards the edge of the forest that bordered the academy. 

“We’re not going far, are we?” Sofie asked him, wondering where he could possibly be taking her. 

“Not at all,” Ben replied. They walked a few more minutes and finally came to the edge of the forest. It looked like a typical forested area with no special features. Sofie looked around the area in confusion. 

“Did we arrive?” She asked Ben. He nodded. 

“I knew you might not remember, but that’s ok,” Ben explained and began to pace, “it’s cheesy, but this is where we shared our first kiss.” 

Sofie’s face lit up as she began to remember the moment. 

“You’re right!” Sofie laughed, “I can feel the secondhand embarrassment just standing here.” 

“I know, I know, as I said, cheesy. But I thought it would be a fitting place for this,” Ben said and then pulled out a somewhat familiar ring.

Sofie barely recognized the ring as the one originally owned by her father and given to her by Ben years ago. Ben had polished it up and attached an emerald-like stone onto the ring. The ring was in much better shape than before. 

“Wow, I’ve never seen this ring look so nice. I also can’t believe you secretly stole it from me,” Sofie commented while looking at the ring closely. It was in better condition but still had the words engraved by her father inside it. 

_Truth and justice, always_ , Sofie thought while looking on the inside. She still had part of her father with her. 

“It’s a gift for you and-- I don’t want to call it an engagement, but it kind of is,” Ben explained, trying to clarify his intentions. 

“I know things are different compared to ten years ago, and maybe we do things like sleep in separate beds and keep our hands to ourselves around the other students,” Ben rambled about their relationship. Sofie smiled at him sweetly, trying not to laugh. 

It was hard for Sofie and Ben to not present themselves as a pair since they were Lana’s parents. A couple of years had allowed them to slowly rekindle the relationship, and while they weren’t full-on lovers, they didn’t deny that there was _something_ between them. 

“I’m almost certain that you’re my twin flame. The way the Force connects us, our conflicts that ultimately elevate us—and the understanding of each other that I think we have now,” Ben grabbed Sofie’s hands and squeezed them tightly. 

“...you think we’re two sides of the same coin?” Sofie asked Ben, trying to decipher what a twin flame was. Ben nodded. 

“Ben,” Sofie said quietly, “when I found you with the Knights of Ren all those years ago, what stopped you from going with me?” Ben gulped. It was common for Sofie to ask questions about his previous actions. It wasn’t to get a straight answer, but rather to emphasize the fact that it would never happen again.

“I wanted that power that Snoke promised me. He convinced me that it was the best thing for you and Lana as well,” Ben explained. “When Luke made you leave abruptly as well, I thought you hated me.” 

Sofie frowned as Ben explained himself. She sensed that she had already known this as well. She took his hands, touching his hand that had been replaced mechanically very carefully. 

“It’s in the past now,” Sofie said and gave Ben a soft peck on the lips. Ben pulled her closer and they embraced. He gently rested his chin on her head and smiled. 

* * *

A gentle breeze floated through the air and moved the trees and grass as it traveled. Ben and Lana lazily laid in the grass on the outskirts of the academy.

“Dad, what were you like when you were a student at my age?” Lana asked him, playfully rolling her lightsaber in the grass.

“When I was 15?” Ben asked out loud, “I wasn’t really that social, but I practiced and studied a lot.” Lana groaned.

“Did you say that because you want _me_ to study more?” Lana asked with contempt. Ben slightly laughed. 

“Maybe,” Ben replied. A determined Lana stood up quickly and grabbed her lightsaber. She attempted a back handspring but fell backwards when attempting to land. Ben watched her and then immediately commented on her attempt.

“Don’t practice while holding your lightsaber like that!” Ben exclaimed. 

Lana stood back up and activated her lightsaber, she rotated it in her hands carefully. 

“Ok, I’m ready to practice-- and to kick your butt,” she said to her father, smiling.

Ben slowly got up, reaching for his saber as well. Lana watched him carefully, nervous but determined to see how she fared against her father. Sparring with him was no joke, but she also took lessons from her mother specifically to know how she could beat him. 

Their match was quick, but Lana put up a fight and managed to impress her father. Ultimately, she took a hard fall to the ground which marked the end of the match. Ben helped her back up to her feet. 

“If you practice more, you’ll get better muscle memory. You’ll be able to see what your opponent is doing and be one step ahead of them,” Ben explained. Lana sighed. Her strengths were in the Force, not lightsaber dueling. 

Ben and Lana began to walk back to the academy. They chatted about some of the other students and about what side projects he and her mother were planning. 

“You guys _still_ have to visit the Republic every week?” Lana asked. Her parents seemed to be politicians more than teachers on occasion. 

“It’s twice a week now, actually. They’re just making decisions that fast,” Ben explained. They didn’t have a substantial amount of power, and their involvement could be seen as ironic since they were concerned about the remnants of the First Order. They kept a close eye on politics so that they could react accordingly. 

“It must be so boring,” Lana sighed.

“Only if you don’t understand what’s happening,” Ben reassured her.

* * *

Ben and Sofie could only cross their fingers and hope that their daughter never had to experience war in her life twice. Despite their wishes, they both felt that things were unbalanced and that it would be inevitable. 

They hoped that teaching her everything that they knew would be enough preparation. But they knew that one day she would have her own journey to fulfill. 

It was enough to see her go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this provided some closure... it was tough since I can see so much that happens after and can't hint at it too much, but it will be a different story... :)


End file.
